It's really interesting to see you take perhaps the most ludicrous scene in the whole series and try to make it good. I really like the opening paragraphs anthropomorphizing helplessness. And it is heartbreaking when Napoleon thinks Illya is dead!

I've only seen this episode once, with no desire to repeat the experience, so I don't recall if the straw is your invention or if it was in the episode. I think you put it there, so congratulations on also trying to fit in a smidgen of logic!

Illya's closing comment is perfect. LOL.