2013-07-30

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Eye Con - PicFic 7/29

The potential for getting things wrong on this one is great.  I hope I didn't mix things up too much.
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410px-Czestochowska

Napoleon let out a low whistle at the sight before him.  The sound alerted the other man to his partner’s presence, causing the Russian to straighten his posture as he attempted to shake off the memories that had nearly overwhelmed him.

“Are you all right, Illya?”  The blond continued to stare at the icon, disbelieving both its presence and his reaction to it.
“I am.  It was a momentary thing, it … I remembered something.”  Napoleon knew a little something about this artifact, or what appeared to be the Black Madonna of Czestochowa.  Illya’s Ukrainian family would most likely have also been familiar with it, as was Illya if his reaction was any indication.

“So, do you think it’s real?  Is this the Black Madonna?” Napoleon’s mission here, and Illya’s, was to ascertain the veracity of this icon; it was eerie though, being in here with it and knowing the legend of how it came to be.

“I … when I was a child…’  Illya began, almost without awareness of the other man in the room.  He was being transported to another time, among other people.  A little boy stood among the solemn group of women and watched as they bowed, one by one, and kissed the image of the Holy Mother and then the Christ Child.  It was a scene that would not play again in the ensuing years among the rhetoric and vehement denials of a Soviet education. But now, looking into this ancient image…

“I do remember it, or some copy of it perhaps.  That was before the Nazi’s came, before the purges of Stalin… a very long time ago.”

Napoleon’s expression was both confused and compassionate.  Illya didn’t often speak of his past, especially his youth in the Ukraine.  Seeing him now, glasses perched on the aquiline nose in his best impression of an academic, Solo could easily imagine a young Kuryakin among his Slavic kin; an inquiring child whose early religious training was ripped from him at a time when he could have used it the most.

Illya removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, a useless attempt to reduce the strain of the situation.  He hadn’t wanted to come here, knowing as he did the emotional toll it might take.  Even now the memories were threatening to overwhelm him; he saw his babushka as she bowed her head and prayed.  He didn’t know to whom, had forgotten how to identify the presence of deity and the particular mannerisms of obeisance.  That perplexed the already stoic Russian; he could see them but not their veiled humility amidst so much piety.


Napoleon was talking to no one.  Illya’s attention was far away.  “Illya! Hey, come back tovarisch.  We need to get our expert in here and see what he has to say about this.  If the icon is real then it needs to go back to Poland.”  Illya nodded, his concentration back on the issue at hand.
“It is, I believe, a reproduction of the original.  I am no expert, however there are some differences in the marks on her face…. See?”  Illya was pointing to two streaks across the face of the Madonna.  They were a pinkish color beneath the dark marks.

“Is that wrong?  I mean, you know for sure that the color is wrong?”  Illya nodded again, putting on his glasses to get another closer look.
“Yes, definitely the color is wrong.  It is too bright, too … pink.  It is not the original.”  His statement was so final, so authoritative.  Napoleon wondered at his friend’s familiarity with this image, given his reticence about religious customs and thought.

“So, you have seen this before?”  The room was immaculate, white and pristine.  Whitewashed, that was the word.  Napoleon found himself imagining candles glowing in the dark as parishioners murmured their thanks to the silent icon.  Illya looked uncomfortable now, as though his time in this room had a deadline of some sort.

“I have seen something like it.’ A deep sigh punctuated that statement, followed by a shrug and eventually more disclosures.  “Icons were… are, a very important part of the Orthodox traditions.  Russian icons, those that have survived, are revered as holy by those who believe.  This one belonged to the Ukrainian church at some point, before it was taken to or by Poland.  There are copies in varying degrees of accuracy, this is simply one of them.”

As the words were sinking in, the man who would make the final determination arrived, notebooks and briefcase in hand.  He would analyze, examine and extrapolate the clues before rendering his verdict on the painting.  Illya was already certain of the final outcome; Napoleon would let the expert, Dr. Jonathan Siegel, complete his task nonetheless.

In the end it was determined that the icon was, in fact, a copy of the one in Poland.  Situated as this one had been, in a church high in the French Alps, there had been little chance of it being the original.  The copy was simply something brought here by a pilgrim, or refugee trying to escape the Nazis or the Soviet government, or both.  Sentimentality and superstition was what Illya would call it if asked.

Privately he would call it devotion.
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"She Who Leads the Way"~ for the PicFic Tuesday Challenge July 30th

                                           


“Please Father, we need to get moving,” Napoleon spoke firmly but respectfully.


“Yes yes. I must bring the chalice, crucifix and the candlesticks...for mass.” The priest grabbed a bottle of sacramental wine and a box filled with small white hosts.


“Saving your life and those of the children are more important than some ritualistic paraphernalia,” Illya growled.”It is purely superstitious nonsense!”


“Tovarisch, I know you don’t give a damn about religion but these are his...and my beliefs I might add, and they are not nonsense by any means. Show a little respect if you don’t mind.”


“Napoleon I once went to church, but then God....if He does exist, let me down more than you could ever know.  A few accoutrements for a religious service hardly represent a deity, they are the trappings men use to comfort themselves.  I say again, if there is a God, then He is everywhere and not limited to church buildings and chalices. Is not God supposed to be within one’s self? As the one true Deity, He cannot be limited...”


Read more... )
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OK too funny not to jump on the bandwagon...Story Generator~borrowed from Spikesgirl et. al.

It all started when our predictably heroic protagonist, Illya Kuryakin, woke up in a fanstic pumpkin patch. It was the first time it had happened. Feeling barely exasperated, Illya Kuryakin hit a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Absolutely thrilled, he realized that his beloved secret formula was missing!  Immediately he called his overtly elitist, rich friend, Napoleon Solo. Illya Kuryakin had known Napoleon Solo for (plus or minus) 200,000 years, the majority of which were curious ones.  Napoleon Solo was unique. He was congenial though sometimes a little... funny-smelling. Illya Kuryakin called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Napoleon Solo picked up to a very mad Illya Kuryakin. Napoleon Solo calmly assured him that most albino cats turn red before mating, yet albino cats usually scandalously panic *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Illya Kuryakin.  Why was Napoleon Solo trying to distract Illya Kuryakin?  Because he had snuck out from Illya Kuryakin's with the secret formula only ten days prior.  It was a electric little secret formula... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Illya Kuryakin got back to the subject at hand: his secret formula. Napoleon Solo turned red. Relunctantly, Napoleon Solo invited him over, assuring him they'd find the secret formula. Illya Kuryakin grabbed his elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Napoleon Solo realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the secret formula and he had to do it randomly. He figured that if Illya Kuryakin took the Jap Trap, he had take at least two minutes before Illya Kuryakin would get there.  But if he took the mercedes benz?  Then Napoleon Solo would be ridiculously screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Napoleon Solo was interrupted by four oafish horses that were lured by his secret formula. Napoleon Solo cringed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he aggressively reached for his live hand grenade and randomly stroked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief.  That's when he heard the mercedes benz rolling up.  It was Illya Kuryakin.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Wal-Mart to pick up a 12-pack of bananas, so he knew he was running late.  With a hasty leap, Illya Kuryakin was out of the mercedes benz and went surreptitiously jaunting toward Napoleon Solo's front door.  Meanwhile inside,  Napoleon Solo was panicking.  Not thinking, he tossed the secret formula into a box of ripened avocados and then slid the box behind his time machine. Napoleon Solo was displeased but at least the secret formula was concealed.  The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Napoleon Solo scandalously purred.  With a skillful push, Illya Kuryakin opened the door.  'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some stupid self-righteous ass in a deliciously practical 4-door,' he lied.  'It's fine,' Napoleon Solo assured him. Illya Kuryakin took a seat wonderfully far from where Napoleon Solo had hidden the secret formula. Napoleon Solo cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness.  'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted.  But Illya Kuryakin was distracted. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Napoleon Solo noticed a funny look on Illya Kuryakin's face. Illya slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Napoleon Solo felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when Kuryakin asked this.  In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the secret formula right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what?  I don't smell anything..!'  A lie.  A pestering look started to form on Illya Kuryakin's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ripened avocados from when she used to have pet venomous koalas.  She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Illya nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Solo could react, Kuryakin skillfully lunged toward the box and opened it.  The secret formula was plainly in view.
Illya Kuryakin stared at Napoleon Solo for what what must've been six hours. Absolutely thrilled, Napoleon Solo groped flamboyantly in Illya Kuryakin's direction, clearly desperate. Illya Kuryakin grabbed the secret formula and bolted for the door.  It was locked. Napoleon Solo let out a sassy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Illya Kuryakin,' he rebuked. Napoleon Solo always had been a little abrasive, so Illya Kuryakin knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Napoleon Solo did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at him or something. Just as zero people expected he gripped his secret formula tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Napoleon Solo looked on, blankly. 'What the hell?  That seemed excessive.  The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Illya Kuryakin. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame five days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Illya Kuryakin. 'Oh.  You ..okay?' Still silence. Napoleon Solo walked over to the window and looked down. Illya Kuryakin was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Illya  was struggling to make his way through the imaginery desert behind Napoleon Solo's place. Illya Kuryakin had severely hurt his love handle during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength.  Another pack of feral horses suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the secret formula.  One by one they latched on to Kuryakin.  Already weakened from his injury, Illya  yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed.  The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of horses running off with his secret formula.
But then God came down with His intelligent smile and restored Illya Kuryakin's secret formula. Feeling displeased, God smote the horses for their injustice.  Then He got in His nappy, busted-out hatchback and zipped away with the fortitude of  one million spotted wolf hamsters running from a enormous pack of spotted wolf hamsters. Illya Kuryakin skipped with joy when he saw this. His secret formula was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in five minutes his favorite TV show,  Married with Children, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When South American hissing sloths meet malaria').  Kuryakin was overjoyed. And so, everyone except Napoleon Solo and a few rusty razor blade-toting man-eating capybaras lived blissfully happy, forever after.
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