![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
mrua7.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
section7mfu2015-07-02 10:30 am
"Naughty Boys"~ For What's My Line?
The prompt: "Too hot to handle."
Napoleon Solo and his Soviet partner, Illya Kuryakin had just arrived in London from New York; there to coordinate a weekend of meetings with Harry Beldon, all the European Chief Enforcement Agents as well as their seconds.
Headquarters was in a nondescript used bookshop on Tavistock Street in the Covent Gardens section of Westminster; it was a simple three story brick building housing one of the busiest U.N.C.L.E. locations in the European arena, ranking second only to the Berlin office in West Germany.
The Senior Enforcement Agent nodded to the woman behind the sales counter as he and Illya arrived, making their way through the curtained doorway in the rear of the shop, which led to a private reading room; the walls inside lined with shelves overflowing with old books.
It made him wonder why Illya would have ever transferred from here as the Russian and his love of books, should have been in his glory.
Napoleon reached for one on a shelf sitting at eye level, entitled, ‘The Baron in the Trees’ by Italo Calvino.
“Ah another interesting choice,” Illya remarked. The books selected to activate the entryway never ceased to amuse him, as they always seemed to be somewhat obscure.
“Believe it or not, I’ve read it in the original Italian,”Napoleon said. “It’s a fable about about intellectual commitments written in a style modeled on Voltaire and Robert Louis Stevenson.”
“Bravo,” Kuryakin nodded his acknowledgement. Napoleon was a well read man but he could still impress his bookworm partner now and then.
Solo, taking hold of the book by the spine and, tilted it back sent the the entire bookcase pivoting open, revealing the hidden world that existed behind it.
The two agents walked into the reception area and were immediately greeted by a bleach blonde seated at the reception desk. She stood, revealing she was dressed in the standard blue blouse and black skirt worn by female support staff.
“Welcome back Napoleon,” she smiled at him, all but ignoring Kuryakin...um, you too Mr. Kuryakin.
“Nice to see you too.... Liz?” Solo responded. Illya said nothing, since he seemed to be a mere afterthought.
She clicked her tongue. “Every time you’re ‘ere you do the same thing. Can’t you at least remember my name?”
“Margaret?”
“Not even close deary.”
“Think ‘flower’,”Illya whispered out the side of his mouth, coaching the American.
“Rose?” Napoleon suddenly smiled, snapping his fingers.“ No, Petunia.”
”Ewww, very good and ‘ere I thought you’d forgotten me,” she pinned on his badge, but handed over Illya’s to him without a second thought.
Solo turned on the charm like a flicking a switch. “Now could that happen with anyone as unforgettable as you?”
“Oh I bet you say that to all the ladies.”
“Only the prettiest ones.”
Petunia blushed. “Napoleon, Mr. Beldon asked you to come to ‘is office as soon as you get yourselves settled in guest quarters. Maybe we can get together for a drink later on tonight, say at my place?”
“Sounds like a date.”Napoleon crinkled his nose, winking at her.
“I can’t wait,” she practically sighed." Don't be too late now love."
“Better three hours too soon than a minute too late,” Napoleon said, before disappearing through the next entrance, his partner in tow.
“Quoting Shakespeare in London, what a novel approach,” Illya quipped. ”It never ceases to amaze me; you are not inside headquarters two minutes and you have already arranged a date.”
“It’s a talent, what can I say?” Napoleon grinned. His head snapped to the opposite direction as a woman walked past them.
For once Illya Kuryakin had the same reaction and stood there with his head cocked to one side, watching the swaying hips of a magnificent brunette as she sauntered down the corridor.
Her movement was hypnotic...
There was always quite a commotion when this particular lady took a stroll along the grey corridors of UNCLE. Heads turned, papers dropped...along with jaws, as male staff members walked into closed doors and walls, while the female employees seethed and gossiped.
Behind her back they whispered their jealous ramblings, calling her a bit of a tart, but poor Carlotta was oblivious to it all. Her 38-24-36 measurements stood out, as did her double-D’s bouncing beneath her yellow uniform blouse, the buttons barely holding those magnificent bosoms in check.
Napoleon did an immediate about face, heading after her, only to find himself being restrained by his partner.
“Oh no. I saw her first.” A statement rarely heard when it came to the likes of the Russian and a woman.
“I don’t think so ...Spike.” Napoleon peeled away Kuryakin’s fingers. By the time they were done arguing in whispers the woman had disappeared from sight.
“Better she is gone,”Illya concluded,” She was probably too hot to handle anyway.”
“Speak for yourself Kuryakin.”
“I was referring for you my friend,” Illya’s upper lip raised ever so slightly into a barely perceptible sneer.
After a split second contemplation Napoleon snapped back.“Wanna bet?”
“You are on. After the conference, let us see who gets a date with her first.”
“Oh to hell with that, let’s make this really interesting. Whoever gets her into the closet in the Map Room first has to pay for deluxe hotel accommodations for the night...if you get my drift.”
“So when you lose, you will pay for my first class hotel accommodations I will be sharing with that exquisite young lady?” Illya snickered.
“No, you’ll be paying because I’m going to win,” Napoleon shot back.
“It is a bet then. I hope you brought plenty of pounds with you, as I plan to order room service.” Illya held out his hand and the partners shook on it.
“Cocky Kuryakin, cocky.”
They made it down to Beldon’s office, a place that reeked of decadence even to the likes of Solo. It was filled with antiques, Grecian statues, paintings, over-sized plants and even a palm tree. The man had a personal steam room adjoining his office, a favorite spot for his assignations.
Those Illya was well aware of, having been assigned here when he first joined UNCLE. When it came to women, Harry Beldon liked them gracing his arms wherever he went, though some he kept closer than others. It was still a source of amazement as to how he was ever a successful covert agent.
Harry reached for his intercom, after they’d gone over most of the agenda for the meeting, next would be the security arrangements and logistics.
“Yes sir?”
“Tea for three please, and some of those lovely shortbread biscuits.”
“Right away sir.”
Minutes later a woman appeared carrying a silver service. It was her, the the brunette from the corridor.
“Ah gentlemen I see a look of recognition in your eyes,” Harry slyly smiled.
“We haven’t been formally introduced,” Napoleon smiled, turning on the charm as he accepted his cup of tea from her.
“Let me do the honors then. Napoleon Solo, Illya Kuryakin, this is my assistant Miss Carlotta Spitz-Swallows.”
Illya choked on a mouthful of tea upon hearing that, looking over at his partner.
“Not touching that with a ten foot pole...for now,”Napoleon whispered under his breath.
“Oh you poor thing, let me help,” Carlotta leaned over, patting Illya on the back; her ample breasts coming to rest on top of his shoulder.
“Thank you, that will be fine,”Illya cleared his throat but at the same time he triumphantly cocked his eyebrows.
“Yes that will be all for now Carlotta,” Harry grinned. “Now if you could both put your tongues back in your mouths, we can return to the business at hand.”
Solo and Kuryakin shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, trying to brush off the comment, both unwilling to admit Beldon’s remark was spot on.
The meeting concluded an hour later, leaving the boys to settle in for the evening. Carlotta was seated at her desk outside Harry’s office and looked up to find both men standing there smiling at her like school boys.
“Why hello gentlemen. May I help you? Do you know your way around headquarters, if not I could show you.”
Illya suddenly began to cough again, prompting her to repeat her attempt at assistance.
“Are you under the weather Mr. Kuryakin? I know those trans-atlantic flights always give me chest problems.”
He smiled. This was too good to be true.
“I am not feeling myself. I suppose a little relaxation and perhaps a drink or two might help. Do you know a good place around here to have a drink that is. Maybe you could join me?”
“Well there’s Star Tavern on Belgrave Mews, just off of Belgrave Square. A lot of our people like it as it’s sort of neutral ground. All sorts of agents show up there. I’ve even heard John Steed and Mrs. Peel wander in from time to time.”
“Hmm, anywhere closer? Perhaps less work-related?
“You look like you could use a decent meal besides a drink. Maybe we could go to my…”
“Illya I thought you were stationed here for three years? Don’t you have the lay of the land by now?” Napoleon interrupted.
“Oh how could I have forgotten that? It must be because I am tired and suddenly feeling a bit irksome.” Kuryakin pursed his lips, showing his displeasure at having been undermined.
“Now don’t usurp the young lady’s time Illya. Carlotta...if I may call you that? I’m not familiar with headquarters like my partner here is and since he’s not feeling well and should go to the infirmary just to be on the safe side; maybe you could show me where the Map Room is here. I need to check out something.”
“Why of course Mr. Solo, it would be my pleasure.”
“Please call me Napoleon?” He offered her his arm, and turned to the Russian, giving him a wink.
“Oh Mr. Kuryakin...Illya, please feel better. I’d still like to have that drink with you if you're feeling up to it later?”
“You heard that Napoleon, did you not?” Illya cracked a crooked smile.
“Right. We’ll talk about it after I’m done in the Map Room.”
Twenty minutes later Solo caught up with his partner in the canteen.
Illya’s eyes opened wide with surprise upon seeing the American back so soon.
“That was a bit fast even for you.” He sipped his cup of Earl Grey.
“Well yeah, about that….”
“You struck out?”
“More like she ‘struck out.” Napoleon rubbed his still slightly red cheek.
“So you were unable to win the bet.”
“Say it again won’t you?”
Kuryakin opened his mouth to repeat his words and rub a little salt into Napoleon’s wound, but was cut off.
“Hey just because you’re going to meet her for drinks...well that doesn’t count. The bet was to get her into the Map Room closet.”
“There is no need for a reminder. Now if you will excuse me, I need to find Carlotta.” Illya disappeared through the canteen doors with a wave.
An hour later Kuryakin returned, knocking on Napoleon’s door in guest quarters.
“Entrez,” Solo called.
Illya walked in, looking rather downhearted as he deposited himself on his partner’s bed.
Napoleon could tell the news wasn’t good. “So you struck out too?”
“Oh I did meet her for that drink, along with her husband, Mister Arthur Swallows from Security. I should have remembered that some married women in the U.K. hyphenate their name when taking their husband’s. Spitz is her maiden name.”
“I guess we’ll never get that question answered for us then,” Solo grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief.
“What question is that?”
“Whether she’s Spitz or Swallows.”
“Did I just not tell you Spitz is her...ohhhh I understand.” Illya made face at his partner’s uncharacteristically crude remark.
“Glad I didn’t have to explain that one to you tovarisch.”
“Perish the thought.”
“Well you have a nice evening. I’m going out. Since our bet is null and void, at least I still have a fall back if you recall?”
“Petunia?”
“Brilliant deduction my dear Kuryakin.” Napoleon saluted before closing the door after himself.
Ten minutes later there was a knock and Illya called out.
“Come in.”
“Helloooo Illya,” Carlotta giggled.”I brought the massage oil like we talked about. I feel a little guilty about slapping Napoleon, but he was a bit presumptuous...a girl prefers getting to know a man before, well you know. Do you think he’ll be upset when he finds out I’m not really married?”
“He will be otherwise occupied for the evening, so do not worry your pretty little head.”
“I was glad we had those drinks and got to talk. As I said I like to get to know a man, especially one as adorable as you.”
“Adorable? I have never been called that before,”Illya whispered.” Now where shall we start? He smiled as he unbuttoned his shirt.
Carlotta ran her hand across his bare chest with a soft moan.
“Mmmm, feels nice,” he nibbled on her ear as he reached beneath her blouse and undid her brassiere with a flick of his fingers.
“By the way, Napoleon had a question you might answer. It is one I suspect you have heard before."
"Oh I know what it is. You'll just have to find out, won't you?"
no subject
no subject
Thank you for reading and your reaction. (giggle)
no subject
no subject
Thanks for the comment.
no subject
no subject
Glad you loved it and thanks for commenting!