"Wong Fook Hing Mistake"~ for the PicFic Tuesday challenge 8/18

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

The prompt:

Solo and Kuryakin stood for a moment, staring at sign above the entrance to their destination.  They’d only been given the address to the latest U.N.C.L.E. field office located in Shanghai; the previous office having been blown up by a THRUSH infiltrator.

Alexander Waverly had been assured this would be more an anonymous location as it was situated amidst the many bright store fronts and businesses that filled the streets of this city, blending in so to speak.

“That’s not a very good name,”Solo quipped.

“What do you mean? Wong is a common name and it is written in Chinese as well as a standard transliteration...wait.” That’s when the usually eagle-eyed Russian finally copped on to what his partner was seeing.

“Wong Fook Hing Book Store?” Illya said the name aloud.” That is the cover name? Hmm, I wonder if Section I thought this through. It is rather rude to those who do not know Chinese."

“Or to some who aren’t Chinese, it might actually stand out, if you know what I mean?” Napoleon grinned. “Ours is not to reason why Illya,” he slapped the Russian on the back. “Let’s head inside.”

The agents were sent there by Waverly to make a final inspection of the new office; they, along with several agents from Section V would determine if it were secure or not and would offer their recommendations before the location went live.

Napoleon and Illya entered the establishment that seemed to be more than a bookstore as it was filled with novelties, food, cigarettes and sundries. That in itself was surprising as such stock would most likely bring an increased foot traffic from the general public; so much for being unobtrusive.

That was the first strike on a long list of things for which the agents would be looking.

They approached a man behind the sales counter with Napoleon nodding his head; giving the pass code that would permit them to enter for the first time. Just to be on the safe side, and as a precaution, this code would change on a daily basis until the location was deemed secure.

“Do you carry Tiparillo longs for ladies?” Solo gave the code.

“Tipa-a- ri-ro? Wasss sat? The man answered in broken English, and his response definitely wasn’t the proper coded response.

Solo instantly drew his Special from his shoulder holster, with Illya doing the same a split second later.

“Who are you? THRUSH? Spectre? Kaos?” Napoleon demanded.

“Wong Fook Hing. Who you? What going on he-yah? You robbers? Take all. Leave Fook Hing be!” After that the man switched to an animated tirade in Chinese.

“Wǒ yànjuànle zhè yīdiǎn. Xiànzài, fēngkuáng de guǐ lǎo de qiǎngjié wǒ. Dōu fēngle fēngle suǒyǒu rén. Ài yaaaa! Wǒ bōdǎ diànhuà bàojǐng. Tāmen huì lái pāi nǐ! Chūqù! Chūqù!”

“Illya what’s he saying?” Napoleon barked at his partner.

“Well the most important part is a threat to call the police if we do not get out of here, and they will come and shoot us,” Kuryakin calmly answered.

The shopkeep hit a button on the cash register with a loud ding. He reached into the open drawer, taking out what money he had and threw it at the confused agents.

“Sir, there seems to be some sort of mistake. Didn’t you hear me give you the pass code?”

There was another loud outburst in Chinese.

“You do not want to know what he said, trust me,” Illya looked to Napoleon.

“Tovarisch, I think it’s time to beat feet out of here and fast!”

Illya nodded and was already ahead of Solo, dashing out the shop door. The partners disappeared down the street, ducking into a nearby alleyway, and there they hid behind a stack of wooden crates as they heard the high pitched warble of a police car siren.

“What just happened?” Illya asked, still out of breath from running. “Are you sure you used the correct code?”

“I haven’t a clue and yes it was the right one. That was one hell of a security measure, if that’s what it was?”

“I suggest we contact their Security Chief.”

“Good idea.” Solo drew his communicator. “Open channel F- Liu Mingkang.

“Liu here. Where are you Napoleon? I have been waiting for you.”

“We were at the entrance to your location and ran into some difficulties with the agent manning the counter; he acted like he thought we were going to rob the place  He didn’t reply when I gave the code and we deemed it necessary to draw our weapons. Was there a pass code change of which I’m unaware?”

“We’ve had our surveillance cameras on the store front all morning and never saw you. Are you sure you went to the the correct address?”

“MeiChuan Road 1275. That is the one we were given,” Illya interjected.

Liu chuckled. “No no. It is “MeiChuan Road 2275. You went to that Wong Fook Hing place down the road didn’t you? The owner there has been robbed so many times that he automatically thinks it’s happening again...though I am surprised he would have presumed a couple of gweilos would rob his store.”

“Well the police are on the prowl for us, since we did draw our Specials, so it may take some time for us to get to your office.” Napoleon glanced suspiciously at his partner.

“Do not look at me,” Illya hissed emphatically.“That is the street address I was told.”

Liu reassured them.“Don’t you boys worry I’ll contact the police and let them know it was another Wong Fook Hing mistake and that you weren’t robbing him.”

The UNCLE agents burst out laughing.

“What’s so funny you two?” Liu asked.

“Nothing nothing,” Napoleon caught his breath. “Give me name of the shop where you’re located...just so there’s no mistakes this time.”

“It’s Hu Yu Hai Ding Cleaners.”

Poor Liu, all he could hear was the sound of Solo and Kuryakin hysterically cackling and snorting and he had no clue as to why.

These New York operatives were a bit strange in his estimation, even though they were considered UNCLE’s best; then he supposed you needed to be a bit strange in order to be in the spy business…

* ‘gweilo’ is a Chinese term for foreigners.

Comments

[threecee.livejournal.com]

You are terrible! If I broke my new keyboard snorting iced tea on it...

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Opps, sorry! I should have put a snorting warning on it? Thanks so much for the comment and glad you enjoyed it. This one as a prompt was irresistible.

[pactnmmt.livejournal.com]

LOL...I was so dense that I didn't "get it" at first with the book store name! Funny story!

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

It's like the old joke...repeat after me, "oh- wa- ta- goo- si- am" say it fast... :D

PS you did get the name of the cleaners, right?

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks! Couldn't help but be silly with this one.

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

*Groan* That was terrible and brilliant :-)

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Terrible as in wicked? Brilliant? Thank you I'll take that mighty compliment! Couldn't resist this one.

[otherhawk.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was hysterical. I love the name of the actual cover shop....somehow, I think that might be even more suspicious!

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Ah ha! Very observant of you my friend. Glad you enjoyed it. I couldn't resist being a bit silly with this one, though the last line does reel it back in.

Thanks for commenting!

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Funny, just flat out funny. And the second name is priceless.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

I figured you needed a good laugh! Thanks for catching up and commenting!

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

"...it was another Wong Fook Hing mistake."

Priceless! How in the world did you find that pic?

I love it, the wrong address was given.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Hope it gave you a good laugh. I don't remember where I found it, but it was a while ago and I just keeping thinking it would make a great picfic. Amazing there's a real place called that!

Thanks!