section7mfu | Twelve days and counting... Part One

Summary: Napoleon has to deal with some unwanted gifts from secret admirer.
LJ is telling me the post is too large, yet I have in the past posted longer fics with the same over all word count. I don't get this. So am being forced to post this in 2 parts...

Napoleon Solo sauntered into his office, feeling pretty chipper. It was the first day of December and for some reason THRUSH seemed to always lay off on their usual schemes and take a Christmas vacation for the month, he imagined after all, they had families too. That thought sent him into wondering what life with a man or woman from THRUSH would be like?"

A little dialogue came to mind, making him chuckle. "Hi honey, how was your day today? Did you conquer the world yet? No? The big bad man from UNCLE ruined your plans again. Oh let mommy make you feel better... poor thing, don't cry."

He stopped dead in his tracks as the office doors opened, seeing a rather large potted plant...no a tree, sitting on top of his desk. As he walked over to it, he realized there was a bird sitting on one of the branches.

He stared at it, and the bird stared back at him, spreading its tail feathers and suddenly flapping its

wings, making a low hollow thumping sound that increased with the speed of its wings.

"What the hell is this?" He turned to his partner who was sitting in silence, wearing his reading glasses as he looked over a report.

"Is it not obvious?" Illya peered over the top of his glasses, "It is a partridge in a pear tree, and from the actions of the bird, he is quite enamored of you as he just performed his mating ritual." The Russian tried not to smile.

Napoleon looked back at the tree and the bird, now noticing little pears tied to the branches.

"Is this some kind of joke Illya...did you do this?"

"I cannot tell a lie, it was not me. It was sitting on your desk when I came in this morning, quite early as a matter of fact.

"Oh great, a secret admirer," Napoleon scrunched up his face as the bird let go some droppings on his desk blotter. He reached to the bird, pointing his finger at it. "We'll have none of that if you please." The bird bit him

Illya let out a little snicker.

"Owww, dammit, and stop laughing," Napoleon cursed, holding his finger. He flicked the switch to the intercom on his desk, calling the secretary.

"Eileen?"

"Good morning Napoleon."

"Do you know anything about this thing on my desk?”

"Oh the partridge in a pear tree. It was there when I came in...no card on it and I have no clue who dropped it off. I just figured it was a Christmas gift from an admirer."

"Oh... all right. Could you please get it out of here, I have some work to catch up on, and if you could bring me a new desk blotter? Thanks."

The offending gift was removed, all was right with the world and the partners worked on catching up on reports that were long overdue. That was a good thing about December, lots of catch up time...especially for Napoleon. He had a full dating schedule and was determine to see it through.

At noontime on December 2nd the partners left fore the commissary but it became a longer lunch than expected as they were serving turkey with all the trimmings. Illya was in his glory, going back for seconds.

Napoleon figured who was he to come between the Russian and his one and only indulgence, not counting explosives that is.

Illya never spoke of his childhood, much less his past in the Soviet Union, and Napoleon took a guess that Illya's appetite might be his way making up for lost time.

Illya seemed as uninterested in Christmas as he'd always been. Sure, they'd exchange gifts but he never seemed to get into the spirit of the holiday, but maybe that was just him. Illya Kuryakin was a man of few words in general, unless it involved a discussion on something that had caught his interest, then the conversation would transform into a long winded lecture of sorts. He was somewhat predictable at least in that respect.

Twelve days and counting... Part One

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