http://dixiebelle2013.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] dixiebelle2013.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] section7mfu2014-03-18 01:26 pm
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Siobhan for ficpic Tuesday 3/18


As Illya lay on the vibrant green grass looking up at the puffy white clouds floating like puffs of cotton in the clear blue sky, he knew that he'd made the right choice of destinations for his leave time. So far he'd found the Emerald Isle, rich in both beauty and tradition, to be the perfect place to relax and let his worries melt away. Never before had he seen grass so green or hills so high, or met people so open and friendly. He knew that the openness and friendliness had its flip side, but so far he had yet to have a personal encounter with the legendary Irish temper.

He never even saw her approach, and yet suddenly she was there. She was young, fifteen or sixteen at the most, and there was a vague, ephemeral quality about her which Illya couldn't quite put his finger on, but which made her seem almost as if she were a sprite or pixie or another of the magical creatures said to inhabit this land.

"Who are you?" he asked her.

"Siobhan." Her voice was almost a whisper, and it had a lilt, an almost musical quality to it. "Come with me."

Transfixed, Illya seemed to have lost his power of free will as he followed her beckoning finger. The place she led him to was a castle, high on a cliff beside the sea. The uneven terrain leading up to its entrance seemed hazardous, yet Siobhan seemed to scale it effortlessly, and Illya found that, to his surprise, he was also able to do so.

The castle's walls were bleak and grey, and although it was still almost completely intact, Illya could tell that it had been built many years ago. Wordlessly, his mysterious visitor led the UNCLE agent down stairs that looked as if they might crumble beneath their feet at any minute. Down, down, even further down they went, until the Russian realized that he was standing in a dungeon beneath the castle.

Once his eyes became adjusted to the dark, Illya had to gasp in shock. Chained to the floor right beside him was a skeleton. From its size, he could tell that its owner had been very tiny and petite, little more than a child, and from the width of its pelvis, he knew that it was female. Right beside it was a much larger skeleton, this one belonging to a male.

"Who were they? What happened to them?" Illya demanded, but when he turned his head, he saw that Siobhan had completely disappeared, and he was all alone in the dungeon with the two skeletons. Badly shaken, he somehow made his way out of the castle and to the local authorities, where he reported his discovery.

Much later that evening, Illya was involved in an animated discussion with one of the locals at a neighborhood pub. "Twas the O'Connor castle ye seen, me boy," his companion told him. "Been there several hundred years, it has. Paddy O'Connor was a mean, cruel brute of a man. They say even the fairy folk was a' feared 'o 'im. One day 'e saw a local girl and lusted after 'er. Legend says 'er name was Siobhan, and she was only 'bout sixteen years old. Paddy asked 'er father for 'er hand in marriage. Scared ta death, the man was goin' to take 'is whole family and run away ta England wi' 'em. Night afore 'e was ta leave, Siobhan disappeared. Nobody ever saw 'er or Paddy O'Connor again. They say that castle is cursed, me boy. Best ye stay away from it from now on."

Illya was stricken with awe, and even felt honored in a spooky kind of way. It was me, he told himself. After all these years, it was me she chose to find her so that she could finally have a Christian burial. I cannot wait to tell Napoleon. He is not going to believe this.

[identity profile] mrua7.livejournal.com 2014-03-18 06:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Unusual take. thanks for joining in the picfic

Re: hi

[identity profile] mrua7.livejournal.com 2014-03-18 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
The comment about Illya's concern over Siobhan having a Christian burial didn't sit well with me as he's a Communits and an atheist in canon and fanon, and wouldn't even consider such a thing.

However, Kuryakin returning to the castle and having a confrontation with the ghost of Paddy O'Connor would have added a nice edge to the story, as well as Illya being the one to bury the girls remains not for Christianity's sake, but just out of respect for the dead and putting her spirit to rest. Not going back to help her seems most un-Illya like.

Maybe you could add more to this piece as it feels as though it needs a real ending.
Edited 2014-03-18 18:56 (UTC)

Re: hi

[identity profile] mrua7.livejournal.com 2014-03-18 08:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Siobhan having Illya find her remains was pretty clear, but the burial and reporting to the authorities wasn't clear at all. Never got any of that. Maybe it was too subtle.

Yes extending the story with Paddy's ghost would be great. Instead of amending why not make it a longer story with a second chapter.

Illya not doing anything himself to help Siobhan after she went to the trouble to reveal herself to him as I said, is very un-Illya. This could be one of your best stories yet if you build on it.

Re: hi

[identity profile] mrua7.livejournal.com 2014-03-18 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Sure, but it's not easy to do as you have to reference elements of the previous story to have it all gel as a sequel as opposed to an chaptered/on-going story.

Right now I'm in the middle of an on-going story that started as a PicFic, everyone wanted the fic to continue, so I did it. As I said, not easy as this recent prompt took the story far from what I originally had going on. The prompts can really make you change direction in the story but it still has to be cohesive and make sense.

[identity profile] ndcelt.livejournal.com 2014-03-19 09:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Hi, think this is the first MFU story I've seen of yours. I found it a delightful little story! Liked how you had Illya grateful that Siobhan had a Christian burial, it showed his empathy for another. I know that fan fiction has created an Illya who believed the Communist state line about God, but that is not the Illya I see on the series. Illya is often heard making reference to the after life and our Final Judgement, Heaven or Hell. Besides, what's a fan fiction writer for, if not to write fiction? Great story and brought me back to the Emerald Isle for just a few pleasant moments.