http://jantojones.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] jantojones.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] section7mfu2017-10-06 02:04 pm
Entry tags:

Motel Operation - Pic Fic - Oct 6th (although it was due on the 3rd)

I'm late again and, because I couldn't think of anything better, this tale has a terrible title.

Click on the prompt pic to go to AO3.


Motel.jpg

[identity profile] laurose8.livejournal.com 2017-10-06 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
A very neat fic, solid and with ic and involving pov. I love that bit about Waverly ticking it off.

[identity profile] threecee.livejournal.com 2017-10-07 03:57 pm (UTC)(link)

Excellent Illya POV and vivid description. Liked Waverly checking off the handover as completed because he hadn't heard otherwise.


The last sentence seemed a bit abrupt to me. Maybe because I was expecting Napoleon's POV on taking the handover and returning to HQ to be fleshed out a bit.

[identity profile] threecee.livejournal.com 2017-10-07 07:01 pm (UTC)(link)
You are a good writer; I've read your other work.

The last line was just a bit, "And they lived happily ever after" after such a strong start. Of course, I've been writing what seems to be the never-ending story for quite a long time, so I should learn to just stop.

[identity profile] mrua7.livejournal.com 2017-10-10 12:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Well done, as always cuz. I hear what you're saying about the ending. Sometimes it's just better to cut it off and add to the 'to be expanded file." "D