"Whats up is right..." ( a bit of silliness) ~ For What's My Line?

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

A little late, but given the worry about my niece's recovery, I surprised myself at even being able to write this.  I doubt if I'll have the next chapter in my PIcFic WIP ready for Tuesday, so to those following the story, I apologize for the wait.
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The prompt:

Napoleon Solo wasn’t one for getting drunk when going out for the evening, especially when he was in the company of a lovely lady; he wanted his faculties about him when it came for the more romantic interlude that might happen later on.

Even when relaxing, having a few drinks with Illya did he let his guard down in public...that was a quick way to get yourself killed. You never knew who was lurking in the shadows.

This time he’d permitted himself to get a little tipsy in the comfort and privacy of his own apartment.  A bottle of champagne was opened and he and his partner toasted to a successful conclusion of their latest, long drawn out mission.

After the champagne came the scotch and vodka, then a little Thai food delivery, more drinking, and more toasting.  Even the level-headed Kuryakin was feeling no pain when he slurred his good night and staggered downstairs to his own apartment to sleep it off.

Napoleon, suddenly feeling a bit lonesome, flipped on the television. It was a new color set and he still wasn’t quite accustomed to Huntley and Brinkley in technicolor.

His old black and white TV set  was palmed off on his partner, who still after all these years had never bought himself a television. He said he preferred listening to the radio, and reading the paper. Though secretly Napoleon knew Illya liked watching cartoons, specifically Looney Tunes.

He got a kid out of Bugs Bunny outwitting everyone, but railed his complains about Boris Badenov and Natasha of Rocky and Bullwinkle being insulting stereotypes.

Still, Napoleon snickered, that didn’t stop Kuryakin from watching.

Solo finally started to doze off, laying still fully clothed on the sofa. Just in that half awake-half asleep moment he heard something that sounded odd and he opened his eyes with a start.

“Ehh, what’s up Doc?”

He heard a familiar voice, and laughed to himself, realizing it was the television. It was the morning cartoon show...already?

“Morning? Shit…” Napoleon squinted at the windows. It was still dark. He looked at his wristwatch. It was 3 a.m.

He stood up, planning to turn off the television set when he saw it wasn’t on.

“Mnnnaaa, so had a rough night ay Doc?” The voice spoke again.

Napoleon turned, pulling his Special from its holster, pointing it in the direction from which the voice came.

He froze, seeing Bugs Bunny laying on the living room floor in a rather relaxed position, his usual carrot in his hand.

“You’re not real,” Solo mumbled.” Man, I really had way too much to drink.”

“Oh a wiseguy huh, thinkin’ I’m a figment of your imagination. Well how’s this?”

Napoleon was hit squarely in the head and staggered backwards, stunned with surprise before he bent down to pick up a carrot from the floor.

“How can you be real? You’re just a cartoon.”

“Yet here I am.  Say you got anything to eat in this joint?”

“Well you can have your carrot back.” Napoleon holstered his gun, tossing back the carrot after examining it and finding it quite real.

“Nahh, I’m sick of eating carrots. Say, ya’ got any steaks, potatoes and all the fixin’s. I’m starving. All I ever get to eat is these here carrots.”

“A rabbit wanting steak and potatoes? That doesn’t sound quite right,” Napoleon chuckled,

“Well people change.”

“You’re not a person, you’re a rabbit.”

“Hey bud, I’ll have you know I’m a star. I got my own films and I’m the lead. The others get second billing...you know Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Speedy Gonzales, Yosemite Sam, Marvin the Martian, Tasmanian Devil, Road Runner, Wile E. Coyote….but I’m the top rabbit ‘round these here parts.”

Napoleon decided to go along with his delusion, as it was becoming a bit amusing.

“So Mister big shot bunny what are you doing here in my apartment?”

“Well ya’ see Doc, Daffy is my roommate and sometimes he can be a little hard to take...he’s what ya’ call an odd duck, if ye get my drift?”

“I can understand that. I have a partner who’s a bit of an odd duck at times, though I trust him with my life. He’s a good friend who always has my back….and he’s pretty smart too.”

“Mnaaaaa sounds like a winner to me,” Bugs said, hopping to his feet, and heading to the door. “Hey, Napoleon I think it is time to go.”

Solo chuckled, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out Bugs.”

“That was not a very nice thing to say Doc. It is time for you to get up, get to the hotel, change into your pajamas and go to bed. You are going to have a bad hangover in the morning….Napoleon. Napoleon?”

Solo lay there on the sofa, grinning like a Cheshire cat when he finally opened his eyes.

Standing above him was his partner, looking quite odd as he was a bit disheveled and wearing a big pair of bunny ears on his head. Napoleon looked around, realizing he wasn’t home in his own living room.

“Napoleon will you please get up?” Illya growled under his breath. “It is time for us to leave my friend. I am rather hungry and could go for some steak and potatoes. I wonder if there is an all night diner nearby?"

“Where are we? Solo had gone momentarily blank.

“We are at the Playboy Mansion. Try to recall we were invited by Mr. Hefner after saving his life last week? You had a bit too much fun tonight, I think.”

“Oh yeah, that’s right.” Napoleon accepted a hand up from his partner. “Say what time is it...never mind.  Illya will you take off those ridiculous bunny ears?”

“What bunny ears? "Illya lied, quickly removing them."My friend you definitely have had way too much to drink. Time to go.”

“Then home James if we must,” Napoleon was a little unsteady on his feet as Illya helped him to the door. They decided to forego saying their goodbyes, though several of the ‘bunnies’ blew the agents kisses as they exited.

“Ehh, he tied on a pretty good one didn’t he Doc.” Bug Bunny crunched on his carrot, speaking to Mr. Hefner. “Imagine that, he thought I was a figment of his imagination.”

“He most certainly did Bugs. What say we call it a night? Care for a cocktail...I have carrot juice,” Hef smiled.

“Sounds good, as long as there’s some vodka in it,’ Bugs winked.

"Vodka, Bugs....I'm surprised."

"Well I always say, ain't I a stinka'?" The bunny chuckled.

Comments

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

OMG, this is TOO funny! If I didn't know better, I'd say YOU were the one who had a bit too much to drink when you penned this. Mr.Solo has quite the active imagination. As does someone else I know...

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God! The very idea of Napoleon Solo in the Playboy Mansion. He'd give Mr Hefner a run for his money. This give me a very much needed laugh.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

No no no....just my imagination being let out to play a bit run free in the playground of absurdity. :D I needed a bit of release after everything that's going on.

Thanks for commenting and glad you got a kick out of it.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Glad it made you laugh. We both need a bit of that don't we? Thanks for reading and commenting cuz!

[irisheitie.livejournal.com]

It had me spitting my tea out! I was laughing out loud! Thanks for the silly.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

oops, sorry for the mess, but glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for commenting!

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

LOL. Ah, the double trick ending, first making it look like Napoleon was talking to bunny-ears-wearing Illya and then revealing that Bugs is real. ROTFLOL. Such silliness indeed!

Also, I kind of love the idea of Bugs and Daffy being roommates. ;) One of these days I may get around to watching The Looney Tunes Show.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

I couldn't just end it with Illya wearing bunny ears....lol! Actually as I recall Bugs and Daffy were off and on room mates in the cartoon series, which was definitely geared towards adults and not children. The cartoons were filled with double entendre, especially when Bugs spoke directly to the camera.

Glad you enjoyed the story and thanks for commenting!

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Ahh, interesting. All I remember from the cartoons about them was Daffy always being upstaged, the audience being unfairly uninterested in him and just being interested in Bugs, and Daffy sometimes trying to hurt or kill Bugs as a result.

Definitely agree about the cartoons not being for kids. I was appalled by some of them even when I was a kid! I'm not the biggest fan of them as an adult, but I do remember the characters themselves quite fondly and find the old vintage kids' books about them rather adorable and sweet. :)

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Yep the Looney Tunes were chock full of innuendo directed strictly at adults. Now days I'd take these cartoons over anything they have on TV now. Cartoons seem to have degenerated into poorly animated garbage. We have Japanese anime to thank for that.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

I don't know; I think American animators do just fine being lazy all by themselves. LOL. There's some really beautifully animated Japanese series, so I never thought of blaming them for some of the terrible American animation these days. On the American side of things, there's maybe three current cartoons I like, but overall I'm not too interested in a lot of the recent fare. However, rather than not liking the animation styles, I don't like the stupid and trashy plots and the bathroom humor. Ugh.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Oh don't get me wrong there's some gorgeous Japanese animation, but their influence on the American animators is there. The American animators just didn't try to improve on it or bring it to a higher caliber. Yeah, lazy is a good description. There's little to no depth to their illustrations, just cheesy looking characters (and plots...if you can call them that)

The older animation in the U.S. was really good, though there were a few that weren't.

Current cartoon in the US? Haven't seen anything that isn't moronic and as you say, bathroom humor.
In a way, it's good there aren't many 'toons on regular television at least in my viewing area. There's Nickelodeon and the Cartoon Network...nothing really great on either.

I remember when as a child I'd wake up on Saturday and there's be cartoons on all morning...not any more.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Ahh, I see. And yeah, there's some pretty cringe-worthy stuff out there. I'm usually willing to overlook odd animation styles if I like the characters and plot, though.

I like My Little Pony and the recent Care Bears series (both of which have aired on The Hub/Discovery Kids), and Steven Universe (which I believe is on CN). I know the animation style for the latter is a little strange sometimes, but the characters are extremely well-rounded and the series pretty much runs on family and friendship squee, so I adore it. :)

Ah, the good old days of Saturday morning cartoons. These days, barely any broadcast network shows cartoons at all. They've all moved to cable/satellite. Ugh. And what is on broadcast is mostly pretty blah, except reruns of a couple of good Japanese anime.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

I cringe when I see things like 'Squidbillies', Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and Uncle Grandpa....gag.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Yes. I am in horror over Uncle Grandpa especially. I really don't like that they made a random crossover episode of it and Steven Universe. Those shows really don't mix.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Don't watch any of it, so I don't even know what Steven Universe is. The only animated things I've watched over the last few years are the Pixar movies. THOUGH, I went with my friend to see George Lucas' animated movie "Strange Magic." The animation was possibly the most stunning I'd ever seen, and my friend who is an artist/illustrator agreed. The movie, however, was awful...

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the animation looked pretty amazing. But I wasn't interested in the plot, so I didn't bother with it.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Good decision. The plot was predictable and forgivable but the music...he used songs from the 70's and 80's...didn't go with fairies sining them. Was actually sort of creepy.

Other terribly animated series I forgot to mention are Beavis and Butthead, and South Park....eeek.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

LOL. Wow. That's ... different.

Yeaaah, I'm not into those, either.