"Rumble in the South Side" ~ for What's my line?

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Challenge: What’s My Line?

Prompt: Shall we dance?

Author: mrua7

Title: “Rumble in the South Side.”

Word Count: Approximately 725

As they rounded the corner, running at top speed, Napoleon Solo and Illya Kuryakin immediately realized they’d made an egregious error.

The UNCLE agents found themselves cornered in a dead end alleyway. There were no doors to break down, no fire escapes to climb...nothing.

The half-dozen shadowy figures who had been in hot pursuit now stood blocking the only way out. Bowler-wearing men dressed in black suits, carrying umbrellas pointed directly at the two UNCLE agents.

“Hands up blokes,” One man ordered, as he stepped through the line of men. He was the leader of the ‘Bowlers,’ as they’d now become known, though the original gang was once called ‘The Family.’

He signalled one of his men to fire a warning shot with his umbrella gun.

A pudgy young man in his mid twenties; Louie Blodgett...junior, was the spitting image of his late father, and like him, Junior was nothing more than a mafia wanna-be.*

Somehow he fancied his ragtag gang that he’d inherited from dear old dad, maintain a British persona with affected East London accents; their questionable garb that of English gentlemen. They were the farthest thing from that, and merely thugs in disguise. They were completely out of place here, as it was Chicago. Not the brightest of moves for them to have relocated here from Jolly Olde England.

Napoleon and Illya had dealings with the senior Blodgett once, and the man along with his croneys proved to be quite inept.*

He and Illya only hoped the son was following in his father’s footsteps specifically in that respect and not just in looks.

“Can’t we talk this over?” Napoleon said, taking a step closer to the men. Illya followed suit.

Blodgett did the same.

“The time for talking is over you UNCLE wanker. Time to pay the price for what you did to my dear old dad.”

“He and his men were criminals and that line of work never ends well,” Illya said.

“Shut your bloody gob Russkie. Time for you to die.”

“Well could you give us a moment to prepare ourselves?” Napoleon asked, stalling for time.

“Fine, say your prayers UNCLE man.”

Napoleon and Illya faced each other, giving a knowing look.

“Shall we dance?” Solo whispered.

Illya nodded. With practiced precision they both dove at Blodgett, one going high the other low.

The gangster went down hard, sending his umbrella gun flying in the air. Solo grabbed it and swinging it like a golf club as he hit a broken brick at his feet, launching it a one of the others. It landed square on the man’s forehead, knocking him out cold. His umbrella went flying as well, right into the the outstretched hand of Kuryakin.

Illya swung it like a bat, knocking out the next man, while contorting himself and kicking another under the chin at the same time. Those two went down as well.

Solo took out the next Bowler with a right uppercut leaving but one of them still standing.

“Hey, I surrender! I surrender!” He dropped his umbrella to the ground. “You gents wouldn’t be hiring would you? I mean come on give a fellow a break?”

“Not in your wildest dreams,” Napoleon said, and watched as the man suddenly stiffened before dropping to the ground, joining his compatriots.

Illya put away his special with a satisfied look, having darted the man along with the rest of his compatriots.

“Just for good measure,” the Russian shrugged.

"This turned out well, didn’t it tovarisch?”

“Any day when we do not die is just that my friend.”

Solo pulled his communicator, calling for a cleanup team that would arrive in about half hour.

“So we have some time to kill partner before they get here. There’s a coffee shop on the corner, care for some?”

“Yes, “Illya nodded,“but perhaps tea for me. I have a sudden urge for crumpets; I wonder if they have any?”

“In the Southside of Chicago? Probably not.”

“One can only hope?”

Kuryakin and Solo stepped over the limp bodies of the soon to be defunct Bowler Gang as if they were just another piece of trash littering the street.


* ref. to “The King of Diamonds Affair” MFU

Comments

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

soon to be defunct? I didn't know the clean up gang had a license to kill.

That scene of the men in bowlers cornering the agents, with pointed umbrellas, is a really good one. It should have been in canon.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

It actually is from the episode "The King of Diamonds Affair" I just relocated the family to Chicago, and had a son take over. So I guess it sounded like the episode. Thanks for the compliment and for commenting.

(the photo is from the actually episode)

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

Nice take on the "bowler" gang and glad our guys efficiently took them down. Guns in umbrellas? I think it's a bad idea. :D

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

I love it! I can clearly imagine every move made in the take down.

[otherhawk.livejournal.com]

Best thing in that episode was Ricardo Montalban. Ah, if there was ever a villain who should have been brought back from the dead....

Fun story, loved the action scene - I could see the way it all played out. And Blodgett asking if they were hiring is just hysterical. Yep, that's never going to happen.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, maybe not as bad an idea than you think. Did you see the movie "The Kingsmen" ? It was excellent and closer to MFU than the MFU movie. It helped that Matthew Vaughn was involved in it...there was a definite
'homage ' to MFU in it, along with a plethora of other Soy shows...like the Avengers.

(Matthew Vaughn was believed to be Robert Vaughn's illegitimate son, until Robert found out otherwise.

Thanks for the comment!

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Yay! I was hoping it was going to be really visual. Thanks!

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, Ricardo Montalban was the best in anything he did.

Glad you enjoyed the story, and the now defunct Bowler gang. Thanks for the great comment!