Weight of the World - Short Affair 2/15

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Prompts: forgive,  white
Words: 693

………

He was defiant, a man who wouldn't go down easily no matter the opposition.  Napoleon Solo felt exhausted from the effort of trying to convince his partner to give up his resistance to the mission at hand.  They needed to speak to the priest inside Saint Bonaventura's Catholic Church, and the old man only spoke  Polish.  That meant Illya was the agent needed for this particular job, leaving Solo to stand guard outside the confessional.

"I am not going inside of that box."  Illya was being petulant, something he reverted to whenever logic was not on his side.

"It's a mission Illya, you don't have a choice.  Now get in there and play the part of a penitent sinner and try to get the old priest to talk to you.  Now!"

"Very well, just remember that next time you will be the sacrificial lamb."

And with that and a huff of disapproval the Russian slid behind the slender door to the confessional booth and waited for the priest to open the grid between them.  A card with the order of the sacraments was posted as well as several prayers.  Illya was unfamiliar with any of it, his upbringing in the Soviet Union a barrier to any type of spiritual training.

He had his memories however, the times when his babushka had tried to instill in him some of her beliefs.  And she had, because the young boy had been anxious and attentive, interested to know and understand about a Being who could command light and darkness with a word, create out of nothingness and surround Illya with love and family.

That had been so long ago.  None of it existed any longer, his family was gone and … Enough.

"Father forgive me for I have sinned. It has been …' Illya quickly did the math and found it had been… " twenty years since my last confession."

The old priest could just see the outline of the young man's face.  He didn't look like a sinner, but then one could never tell by appearances alone.  He continued on, prompting the response that would lead to forgiveness and advice for remaining free of sin.

Illya found himself actually giving into the process, felt a sense of relief as he let go of what he had thought was finished; the killing, and the manipulation of innocents while espousing the laws of right and justice.  As Napoleon waited outside, his partner laid bare his soul until the remnants of his sin were no more.

The priest, Father Lazlo, heard and recited back to the young man what he needed to hear before confronting him with the information he possessed.

"You are the agent from the U.N.C.L.E., are you not?"  That made Illya start for a moment.  How had he known?

''I am, yes… How did you know?"  And then the evidence betrayed him.

"My son, you have told me so much in such a little bit of time.  I have been expecting someone from your organization, but I imagine you had no intention of falling prey to the Lord's scrutiny."

Illya shook his head in both amusement and consternation.  The white light of God's interrogation had caught him unaware.  This priest would be a valuable addition to the network of UNCLE watchers who held the ropes for those in the field.  These were the ones who would pull you back when the abyss threatened to swallow you.

"I am not a believer, Father, not in the sense you know.  But thank you for listening.  I do believe to unburden one's soul is of great value.  And now, what do you have for us?"

When Illya stepped out of the confessional and back into the church, Napoleon was scanning the ancient room.  There was no sign of a threat here, not today.

"Ah, there you are.  I take it you have what we came here for."  A slight nod indicated yes, but the blond was wordless as he strode past his partner.

Napoleon noted something about his friend, but darned if he could say just what it was that made Illya seem to  be walking with less weight in his steps.

Comments

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Very nicely done. This was an unexpected take on the prompt and I liked it a lot!

Still Illya stating that he was an unbeliever, yet saying 'he believed to unburden one's soul was of great value.' was a give away that maybe he did really believe, but just didn't want to admit it. Belief in the soul isn't exactly something his Soviet upbringing would have approved.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

It seemed to me he quoted a lot of bible passages for someone who was not the recipient of some type of training. Either that or he read the bible on his own... curious.
Thanks for commenting :D

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Well in my stories he had religious upbringing until he was eight, but after the death of his mother and brothers he denied God. Yet as you say he quoted a lot from the bible, I had him saying it was just a book like another, but again he was just hiding from God, or his childhood beliefs because of his Soviet masters.

[pactnmmt.livejournal.com]

I believe that confession is good for the soul, even for the "godless"...lol. Nicely done!

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Wow, I wasn't expecting this wonderful story. Thank you.

[otherhawk.livejournal.com]

Well, I think that unburdening one's soul is similar whether it's part of therapy or confession. It's a weight off his chest either way, and I think that's something Illya probably direly needs.

Oh, and I really love the description of petulance as something Illya resorts to when logic isn't with him. That's just perfect. Thanks for sharing this.

[rose-of-pollux.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I liked where you took this. Must've been awkward for Illya, definitely...

[jkkitty.livejournal.com]

Excellent done, I know that feeling well.

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

I have some difficulty believing Illya would confess anything to a priest. Other than the exchange of information called for with this mission, a true atheist would not do this. That being said, I did like your story. Sharing a burden with someone does lighten one's step.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

I don't assume he's an atheist, only that he was brought up in a spiritually repressed environment. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Where in canon is it written that Illya is an atheist? He's what we the writer's make him, so I think it's completely plausible that he could actually be a believer, but perhaps has just kept it hidden. Not everyone in the USSR was an atheist and by the numbers and growth of the Orthodox church today, I'd say lots of them never truly renounced their belief in God, or in their faith.

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

There is no canon that shows Illya's religion. In this story however, Illya states he is a non-believer.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

We also know Illya to be a very good liar. So his act of confessing, to me actually said he was a believer despite what he said. Actions speak louder than words. The fact that he has a belief in the soul would be in complete opposition to his being a true atheist.

Hiding his beliefs makes more sense, as Glennagirl said, he came from a 'spiritually repressed environment."

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Since it is my story...
"I am not a believer, Father, not in the sense you know. "
What Illya believes may not look or sound like what the priest presents, but something speaks to him and influences him and so he adds 'not in the sense you know'.
In my world he has the seeds of faith residing deep within.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

I'm gratified by your response, thank you.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Yes, petulance suits him. Thank you.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Everyone needs to unload once in a while.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you enjoyed this. Maybe awkward, but then again he's in character... might help.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Thanks, we all need a listening ear sometime or other.

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

I understand what you are saying. I still find it difficult to believe he would go into a confessional to confess. To exchange info, maybe... For the sake of this story, allow me change my earlier statement. If Illya was a 'true' atheist, he would not confess to a priest.

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Well, this could go on indefinitely and we'd be no closer to a resolution than when we started. In your version of things IK can be a card carrying atheist with all that implies. In mine, which is where we are at present, I've made no such assumption nor is it indicated anywhere. I've written on this theme numerous times, and always with that internal struggle between the State mandated atheistic dogma and Illya's attention to something else that seems to draw him beyond what he can see or touch.
I don't think any person is immune to the need for redemption, and if a person has a conscience at all, then a life that includes killing people, even for a righteous cause, will drive him either to madness or to seek relief from the burden of it. He found opportunity and took it. Literally, end of story.