"Woodpussy" for the Short Affair Challenge 2/4/19

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Challenge: The Short Affair

-Prompt Word 1 - Damp

-Prompt Colour – Purple

Title: “Woodpussy”

Author: mrua7
Word count: Approx 600

It had rained overnight and there was a damp chill within the small hunting cabin.  The fire that had been lit in the hearth had long since gone out, though the two occupants were warm enough in their beds, tucked under thick blankets.

It was Kuryakin who raised his head, called from his sleep as he sniffed the air. He recognized that pungent odor but it wasn’t going to deter him from his well deserved rest.

He and his partner had successfully concluded their mission in Pennsylvania the day before. Well, if you could call it a success; he and Napoleon were observing a THRUSH satrap for their usual nonsense when it was discovered the feathered goons were merely observing groundhog day.*

It would make for an amusing report, at least that’s what Solo thought. The groundhog held by the Thrushies didn’t see its shadow so according to Pennsylvania-Dutch lore there would be an early spring.

Illya held little store in that bit of wive’s tale and thought nothing of it other than he hoped for an early spring, regardless of the creature’s prediction.

His head hit the pillow and he was back to sleep almost immediately.

Napoleon on the other hand finally woke, sniffing the air with disdain. He rose from his bed, taking his gun with him as he walked around, inspecting the cabin for the source of the foul stench. Was it a chemical being used on them by an enemy agent?

“Illya, wake up. I think we’re under attack.”

Kuryakin immediately sat up, his weapon slipped instinctively from beneath his pillow.

“What is wrong?”

“Can’t you smell it? We’re being attacked by some sort of chemical agent.”

Illya laughed. “That is not a chemical agent...well technically it is but it is not being delivered by THRUSH if that is what you are thinking.”

Solo screwed up his face in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Napoleon, that is the odor given off by the spray of a member of the family Mephitidae. There are many species in that family all having one thing in common…

Solo looked at his wristwatch in exasperation.

“Illya, it’s three in the morning. Will you please speak plainly?”

“Napoleon it is a skunk. Judging by the area we are in I would venture that it is a striped skunk. It was probably frightened by something and used its defense mechanism...somewhere outside the cabin of course.”

“A skunk?”

“Perhaps you would prefer the word woodpussy? I believe that is a more urban term used for it.”

“Not the kind of pussy I’m interested in, “Napoleon grimaced.

“I think it is safe to assume that an early spring is indeed on the way as male skunks generally come out of their state of semi-hibernation when the temperatures warm; their intention is to mate.”

“Not exactly exuding eau de cologne is it,” Solo mumbled.

“Napoleon, you have never smelled a skunk before? I am surprised.”

“No, and even though I’ve spent many’s the time at my folks cabin in the Catskills I have never had the displeasure of smelling a skunk. Thank you very much!”

Illya chuckled. “Go back to sleep. The odor will dissipate... eventually.”

“I think I’ll help it along.” Napoleon dug into his suitcase, taking out his bottle of aftershave, something called ‘Purple Haze,’ and slapped some of it on his face.”

“Better?” Illya asked.

“Much.”

“Good night Napoleon.”

“See, so the groundhog was right after all, wasn’t it? Early spring,” Napoleon snickered.

“Good night Napoleon.”

“Good night Illya.”



* "Superstitous mumbo jumbo"

A/N this story was based upon my personal experience early this morning. Pew...