Twelve Days of Christmas, MFU Style

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Prologue

"Hello, boys. I've decided we're going to celebrate Christmas together."

Mark lowered the folder he had been studying and gave his partner a curious glance.

"Uhm, love? Aren't you going to visit your family on Christmas?"

"Yes, you goose. But I'm not leaving until Christmas Eve. Today is the 11th, so we have twelve days between now and then."

A half-smile formed on Illya's face.

"The twelve days of Christmas, April?"

"Illya! You genius! That's perfect! And there are four of us so we each only have to do three days."

Napoleon's blinked, then looked from Illya to Mark. Unfortunately, they both looked as lost as he was. Finally, he reluctantly turned to April and admitted defeat.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about, April. And I don't think anyone else does either."

Tsking, April shook her head.

"The Twelve Days of Christmas, of course. Since Illya was the inspiration, he can take days one, five and nine. Mark, you take two, six and ten. Napoleon gets three, seven and eleven. Which will leave four, eight and twelve for me."

Napoleon was still speaking to her as if he was talking to a mad bomber that he was trying to talk out of setting a timer.

"And exactly what are we doing with these days that we're taking?"

Looking at the three men as if they were missing the obvious, April shook her head.

"You figure out something that goes with your day and base what we celebrate around it."

Illya seemed to get what she was talking about, but decided he should clarify.

"So we keep to something to do with the lyric, but it need not be literal?"

"Exactly, darling."

"Very well. I know what I will start with. We will all have dinner together tomorrow."

Napoleon decided he had two more days to figure it all out and shrugged.

"If you're providing the food, chum, I'll provide the wine. Any idea what would go best with it?"

"A red wine, I should think."

Napoleon nodded, then gestured to the folders before them again.

"Now that we have that sorted, can we please get back to work?"

"If we must."

The First Day

"Come in, come in. Napoleon has already arrived and is opening the wine."

"Something smells absolutely wonderful, Illya."

"Thank you, Mark, but I can only take credit for knowing who to call for a special meal. Let me take your coat, April."

"Thank you, Illya. Mark's right. Something smells divine."

"I trust it will taste as good as it smells. Please - everyone have a seat."

"I have a lovely '59 Bordeaux to go alone with our mystery meal. Ladies first."

"You make a charming sommelier, Napoleon."

"Once the wine is poured and Napoleon is seated, I will bring out our meal."

"Ready when you are, chum."

"Careful. The plates are warm."

"They look lovely. Are these game birds?"

"They look like grouse."

"Partridges to be more specific, Napoleon. On top of wild rice and in the bowl to the side is pear sauce."

"Partridges and pears - how perfect."

"A partridge in a pear tree . . . ah, okay. I see how this goes now. Trust my partner to convert his lyric into food."

"And very tasty food at that. Pass the rolls, please."