SNAPSHOTS~ "Pastrami on rye and other things"

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

                                                               

Napoleon finally came out of his stupor; he'd been drugged and beaten bad enough for the doctor to order complete bed rest. Not trusting Solo to follow doctors orders, he was confined to the medical until released to desk duty.

Illya was there when the American first woke up, and had been in and out since then. There was no real need for his Russian friend to sit with him as there was nothing life threatening for once that required constant vigil.

He knew Illya would be back eventually with lunch, but in the meantime, he had a sponge bath to look forward to. He sat there smiling with a lustful grin, wondering which nurse would be the one to complete the task. Would it be Anita, Sharon, Linda, Peggy...ah the choices were all good, and they were all on duty today.

"Down boy," he told his libido. "Remember the doctor's orders."

Kuryakin was on his way back, bringing Napoleon a pastrami on rye sandwich, as nothing on the menu appealed to his partner, especially the thought of that awful green jello that accompanied every tray of food while in Medical.

He overheard two nurses arguing quietly back and forth, something about a sponge bath and who'd get to do it. Being the good agent that he was, he paused, eavesdropping on the conversation.

"Aw come on Linda," Peggy whined, you always get to give him his sponge bath, I never get a chance."

"Stop acting like a child will you?" Linda spoke firmly, "You took care of him last time he was here."

"No that was his nasty partner of his. I've never seen such a temper on someone who's usually so quiet. He really hates being in a hospital bed doesn't he?"

Linda's demeanor changed at the mention of the Russian. "Well that's because he's alone, if you get my drift."

"You and the Russian?" Peggy blurted out.

"Shush, keep your voice down, and you better not blab. I don't want the whole world to know and neither does he."

"I won't say a word, I promise," the nurse whispered.

"Ahem," Illya cleared his throat, alerting them to his presence.

Linda turned a deep shade of red, afraid Illya had caught her gossiping, one thing he detested. "Um hi Illya," she said sheepishly.

"Hello Nurse Lawson, Nurse Kingsley." He ignored what he'd overheard Linda talking about, giving her a pass just this once, and focused on the other topic, the sponge bath. " I take it you were speaking about my partner Mr. Solo."

"Urm, yes we were." Peggy shyly said. "We were arguing about who was going to give him his sponge bath."

"Why ladies, I have a perfect solution to keep the both of you from arguing over it, at least this time." Illya smiled; he was feeling up to making a little mischief today...

.

Nurse Lawson walked into Napoleon's room. "All right, it's time for your sponge bath, as if you didn't know already," she said most cheerfully.

"Yes it's something I do look forward to, as it's so lonely all by myself here in this... bed," he poured it on syrupy sweet, just like molasses.

"Poor baby. Well just slip out of your hospital gown, and no, don't pull down the sheets,"she warned. "Roll over onto your stomach and close your eyes. I'm going to give you a little massage before your sponge bath, to help you relax."

"Can't I lay on my back? I'm sure that would be more enjoyable? Napoleon practically purred.

"NO!" Linda raised her voice, then lowered it. "Noooo. Now let's go Mister, roll over, please."

"Whatever you say," Solo resigned himself. He felt massage oil poured onto his back and strong fingers digging into his muscles.

"Ohhh, that's really good, yeah, ummmm. That's the spot, right there. Ahhhh. You really have talented hands don't you...mmm once I get out of medical you can show me what other talents you have, if you like."

Napoleon suddenly detected the odor of pastrami, and craned his neck around. The person doing his massage was definitely not Nurse Lawson, and as he glanced to the door of his room, there stood Illya holding a brown paper bag, flanked on either side by Nurse Lawson and Nurse Kingsley; the three of them grinning ear to ear.

His masseuse was none other than Charlie Wiggins, one of the medical technicians.

"Hey what's going on here?" Solo blurted out.

Everyone broke into a fit of laughter as Napoleon's face flushed, getting the joke was on him.

"Well fine then, Charlie," he spoke with assurance in his voice, calling their bluff," finish the massage, but definitely no sponge bath, understood?"

"Gee, no problem Mr. Solo."

Illya and the nurses laughed even harder.

"Don't worry," Linda said, "I'll still give you your sponge bath."

"Just for this, I'm not reimbursing you for the pastrami sandwich." Solo called out.

"Fine," Illya sniped,"I will eat it myself then."

Napoleon thought about that for a second. "Hey partner mine, I'll trade you my sponge bath with Nurse Linda, for the sandwich.''

Illya looked sorely tempted to say yes as he glanced over at her.

"Napoleon Solo!" Nurse Lawson yelled, "I'm not a bargaining chip!"

"Okay, okay, you got me," he surrendered,"I'll pay you double Illya, just give me my sandwich, I'm starving..."

Comments

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Haha! If I were that nurse I'd have kept my mouth shut and let him do the trade. funny. .That sandwich looks good.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Yeah me too. And yes that sandwich does look good. My hamburger wasn't very appetizing I'm afraid. This holiday is such a let down. At least I can watch the NY fireworks on TV tonight, but just not the same. sigh.

thanks for commenting! You know how much I appreciate it!

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

That was a cruel (but funny) prank to pull on poor Napoleon.

I've never had pastrami but, given how nice that sandwich looks, I may have to give it a try.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Awww it wasn't that cruel...and it got the point across didn't it? Patrami is delicious, on a nice rye bread with mustard...sometimes you and have corned beef and pastrami together. Yummm....and don't forget the kosher pickles. :D

Thanks so much for commenting!!!

[svetlanacat4.livejournal.com]

Oh, naughty, naughty Illya!!! I'm still giggling in the morning coffee, imagining Napoleon's face!
Thanks for the great moment!

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Glad it made you laugh, but hope you didn't snort the morning coffee up you nose. EEEk
Thanks for commenting and good to see you back.

So how is your first day of 'FREEDOM?'

[svetlanacat4.livejournal.com]

Wonderful, really wonderful! I decided that today, I won't do anything. Just rest, playing with Patachou...
No garden, thoigh because yesterday we had a stormy weather and today is still grey and rainy.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Good for you! Rest and relax with Patachou. You deserve it! Hugs to you, scratches to Patachou.

today the sun is finally out after lots of rain past few days from the fringe of hurricane Aurthur. Glad he's gone out to sea and don't want any visits from his relatives. hahahaha!

[avrovulcan.livejournal.com]

Ha, ha! I've now got to change my top after splurting my cup of tea down it, I've never laughed so much. Thanks for a brilliant smile - I needed it.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Oops sorry! Perhaps I should have posted 'beverage' warning? So glad you still enjoyed it and glad it made you SMILE! Hope all is well?

Thank you!!!