"Who's bluffing who?"`for the What's My Line challenge

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Challenge: What’s my Line?

The prompt: “I took a shortcut”

Author: mrua7

Title:  Who’s Bluffing who?

Word count: Approx. 1550

A familiar silver convertible drove along the tree lined mountain road; a certain blond and brunette riding in it were both in a somewhat surly mood.

“I knew I should not have let you drive.”

“What’s wrong with my driving?” Napoleon demanded.

“Oh nothing,”his partner quipped,” only the fact that you have yet again managed to get us lost.”

“Hey buddy boy, you for once have the map so don’t put the blame solely on me!” The American took a haughty attitude.

“And if you had listened to my directions we would be out of these damnable mountains and that much closer to home.”

“All right, all right so I took a shortcut; sue me,” Napoleon snapped back at him.

“Would that I had for every time you have gotten us lost as I would most assuredly be a wealthy man.”

“Fat lot of good that would do you since you never spend a dime you...cheapskate.”

“At least I have money in my pocket, unlike you who feels the need to constantly borrow cash from me to finance your love life. You still owe me nearly two pay checks in IOU’s.”

“I do not.”

“Would you care to see my ledger? I will gladly show it to you should we ever get back to New York sometime this year.”  Kuryakin crossed his arms in front of his chest in an effort to restrain himself.

“You keep a goddamn ledger on me?”

“With the amount of money you are constantly borrowing from me...yes. It would not be possible to otherwise keep track of your debts.”

“Why you cold hearted bastard. I pay back what I owe you and you know it. I just haven’t been flush lately…”

Illya snickered at that excuse.

“Boys boys, enough!” April Dancer finally spoke up from where she’d been laying down in the back seat of the car. “This is ridiculous! All this because Napoleon took a wrong turn?”

“April, he is always taking a wrong turn. I have never known a person with such a poor sense of direction as Napoleon Solo.”

April leaned forward, snatching the map from the Russian’s hands.

“Give me that. I’ll be doing the navigating and there’ll be no more arguing between the two of you. For goodness sake you two are partners...best of friends and you’re fighting like a couple of kids.”

She pulled a penlight from her purse, looking at the map and studying it. Glancing up she saw a sign for a turn off.

“There Napoleon take that left.”

Solo compiled in silence, and within minutes they found themselves getting onto the interstate and heading at last, back to New York City.

It was two in the morning when they finally arrived, and stepping into reception though the dressing room entrance in Del Floria’s; the night receptionist greeted them.

“Mr. Waverly has been waiting for you, and he doesn’t sound very happy about it.”

“Circumstances beyond our control,” Illya chuffed. His tone of voice gave away his annoyance.

The woman leaned forward, pinning Solo’s badge to his lapel. Napoleon would normally have given her a warm smile and comment but this time he was silent and looking none too happy himself. He walked through the secondary entrance, not waiting for the others.

She held up Kuryakin’s badge and he snatched from her had without so much as a thank you before he disappeared through the door as well.

April Dancer stepped up to receive her badge, looking tired but relieved. The ride back had been too tense for her taste.

“April what’s going on with those two?”

“They’re fighting again,”she sighed.

“Oh boy. I better warn Mr. Waverly. Given his mood, this could get complicated...keep me in the loop?”

“I’ll let you know,” April’s voice sounded almost cheerful. It was going to be interesting to sit in on the show and see what Waverly did about his two top agents feuding like a pair of brats.

.

When Dancer arrived in the conference room, Napoleon and Illya were already standing in front of Waverly like two little boys with their hands caught in the cookie jar.

“Ahhh, Miss Dancer. May I presume you are the voice of reason in this affair.”

“Umm, yes sir?” She wasn’t quite sure if he was referring to the assignment or to the family feud between Solo and Kuryakin.

“Good. You my dear will be in charge of these two and their rehabilitation.

April smiled, but said nothing.

“Rehabilitation sir?” Napoleon interrupted.

“Mr. Solo, you will remain silent please. As I said, rehabilitation. Mr. Kuryakin, you are to no longer loan money to your partner, nor any other person here. Is that clear? Though I know you don’t charge interest, the bank of Kuryakin is now closed.”

“Understood sir.”

“And you Mr. Solo, you are not to borrow one thin dime from anyone for any reason. UNCLE employees are not here to be your personal loan officers in the business of financing your numerous liaisons.”

“Excuse me sir, does that include said liaisons performed in the line of duty while on assignment.”

Waverly cast a warning glance. “Interrupt me again Mr. Solo and you will find yourself on an extended assignment at the North Pole.

Waverly cleared his throat.”In addition, you are to take a refresher course in map reading as well as orienteering.”

“Sir?” Solo’s jaw dropped.

Illya let out a snicker.

“Not a laughing matter young man.”

Kuryakin’s face when completely deadpan at that reproach.

“Now I have decided to separate you as partners. It seems to me this underlying friction is counter productive to your effectiveness to work together as a team.”

Both Solo and Kuryakin raised their voices in protest, so much so that Waverly hushed them. He made the two men squirm in silence while he went about lighting his pipe, puffing from it for a minute before continuing.

“If I hear so much as one word of a problem or complaint between you two, I will not only assign new partners for both of you...I will also separate you physically. I will transfer one of you to West Berlin to cool your heels. Am I understood gentlemen?” Waverly didn’t wait for an answer nor did he ask for a verbal report on their assignment, but instead summarily dismissed the pair, asking that Miss Dancer remain.

As soon as the pneumatic doors closed behind the partners, April spoke up.

“Sir, I’ll do whatever you asked but how exactly am I going to oversee their rehabilitation?”

“You’re not Miss Dancer. It was merely a threat as was everything else. I’m not breaking up and transferring the most successful team I have because they’re going through a rough patch.”

“That’s a relief sir,” she sighed.

“And that is strictly confidential young lady.”

“Understood sir. My lips are sealed.”

“It's a given that partners will have disagreements. They’re together more than some married couples so there’s bound to be arguments from time to time.  I have confidence Messrs Solo and Kuryakin will, as the Americans say, get their act together.”

Outside in the corridor, Napoleon and Illya stood looking at each other, their eyes filled with guilt.

“Tovarisch. I’m sorry I lost my cool with you. I know you're not a cheapskate."

“As am I,” Illya responded.

“And as far as the money I owe you. I promise I’ll get it to you by next payday.”

“Scouts honor?’Illya smiled, though remaining suspicious.

“No, for real. Maybe you could see your way clear to help me with some map reading before I have to take that refresher course?”

“It would be my pleasure my friend.” Illya offered his hand and Solo took it, and the two instantly buried their differences with that handshake.

As they walked down the hall, they contiuned to discuss what had just happened in the conference room.

“Do you think Mr. Waverly would really break us up and transfer one of us to Germany?” Illya asked.

“Nah, he was bluffing,” Napoleon smiled.”I can always tell when the Old Man is trying to con me. He gets a minute twitch, barely perceptible in the corner of his right eye.”

“Interesting. I have never noticed that and will be sure to look for it next time we have a discussion with him.”

“So, chum I have another small favor to ask. Could you spot me twenty dollars? It’s not for a date though, I promise. I need to pay Del for some alterations he did for me.”

Kuryakin gave him a threatening look, but finally laughed, pulling out his money clip and handing it to his partner.

“Do not let April know,” he cautioned.”We would not want to get her in trouble for not supervising us properly, nor do we want Waverly to find out we are calling his bluff.”

“It’ll be our secret, thanks. By the way, do you really keep a ledger on me?”

Kuryakin laughed. “Not an actual book.”He pointed a finger to his temple.

“Now that’s more like my partner,” Napoleon smiled.

Comments

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

That's an original idea, and I find their close knowledge of each other having a downside very convincing.

I loved the idea of Illya keeping a ledger, and was rather disappointed to find it wasn't physical. I guess he kept runnig out of red ink.

I liked, too, Napoleon knowing when Waverly was bluffing. He better not be too confident, I'd guess; it can turn out to be no bluff after all.

I think it's April I'm sorry for.

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

Ha Ha! Such a fun story. Thanks for making my day. Bank of Kuryakin? *snicker*

[lacik9.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed seeing the fellows get lost and have to rely on the woman to read the map - not that they'd probably admit it.

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Mr Waverly will always have the edge over NS :-)
As for Napoleon and Illya, all the best friendships run into rough waters on occasion. Lovely story.