"What???" ~ for PicFic Tuesday September 29th

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

The prompt:

Napoleon Solo was no stranger to Medical in UNCLE headquarters, but when a call came for him to report there, he was a bit perplexed.

He hadn’t been injured on his last assignment and passed his basic post mission physical. Illya on the other hand was confined to his usual bed, having been injured yet again. He’d taken a pretty hard knock on the head and was being kept for observation. When last he saw his partner; the Russian was out cold, though it was deemed there was nothing serious wrong with him..

Napoleon’s imagination got the better of him as he rode alone in the elevator, thinking Illya was worse off than first thought. Were they losing him?

“Please tovarisch, don’t be dying on me? I need you to hang in there buddy,” Solo fervently whispered to himself.

The elevator doors opened and he stepped out to the floor, searching for a familiar face. He was spotted by Nurse Carter, and was waved over to the back office by her.

“Napoleon I’m sorry but I have some bad news for you. We’re going to need to do some more tests.”

“I thought he was out of the woods?

“Who?”

“Wait, this isn’t about Illya?”

“Mr. Kuryakin? Why no, he’s fine. As a matter of fact he’s being released this afternoon. Light duty only though.”

Napoleon’s head was racing as she explained the situation to him. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. No it wasn’t possible? Not him?

“But I have no symptoms.”

“That can happen. Your tests indicate otherwise Mr. Solo.”

“And how long?”

“Your last tests four weeks ago were fine. Now, I’ll need you to give me a list of everyone with whom you’ve …”

It was a rare occasion that Napoleon found himself blushing.

“Ummm, that’s going to be difficult as I don’t exactly keep track of those sort of things. Though at least four weeks does narrow down the window somewhat.”

The nurse put her hands on her hips, taking a defiant posture.

“Well if you agents kept it in your pants, then things like this wouldn’t happen, would they? We give you an endless supply of prophylactics, so there’s no excuse as far as I’m concerned. Now come on I need names?” She stood there tapping her foot on the floor as she held out her clipboard.

“It would be easier if I went to my office and got my little black book, that would help jog my memory,” he shrugged sheepishly.

“Out of curiosity, just give me an estimate?”

“Fifteen to twenty...maybe?”

Nurse Carter shook her head in disbelief. She knew Solo had a reputation of being a womanizer, but hearing those numbers straight from the horse’s mouth were shocking, even to a nurse.

“Fine, I’ll be expecting you back here in say, fifteen minutes?”

“Unless Mr. Waverly calls me for an assignment, that should do. Nurse Carter, I’ve never heard of this infection. What’s the cure rate on it?”

“Oh it’s 100% curable with a course of antibiotics for the next seven days.

At the moment that’s erythromycin.You will have to abstain from all ummm, intimated activity during that period. It used to be there were only two significant sexually transmitted diseases: syphilis and gonorrhea, but now we’re seeing others”

Napoleon nodded, understanding the gravity of the situation, though he was still in shock he’d now become a statistic.”

“With all the free love and promiscuity now days there’s a marked increase in new STD’s. What you have is one of them, and you’re lucky it can be easily taken care of; left untreated, it could cause some dangerous complications. Though you’ll be cured, as will be any of your recent partners, I warn you...you can be reinfected again if you’re not careful.”

Napoleon felt a little shiver go up his spine. “So I’m going to take the blame for infecting them?”

“Well they didn’t give it to themselves, though remember one might have infected you… or someone else may have infected her. It gets complicated when men and women have multiple partners.”

“What did you say it was called it again?”

“Chlamydia...on the street it’s known as the Clam.”

“Peachy.”

Nurse Carter cocked her head to one side.

“From now on please make a point of using these?”She reached into her pocket, drawing out a handful of foil packets and shoved them into him.

“Tracking everyone down makes a lot of work for us, as well as having to treat so many, especially in your case. Now multiply that by the number of field agents who are like you...well, no one is like you Napoleon. Do you get what I’m saying?”

“Yes Ma’am. By the way do we have to involve Mr. Waverly in this?”

“No, for once patient privacy will save your derriere Mr. Solo, along with the antibiotics,” she snickered.

“Very funny...say have you been talking to my partner lately? He doesn’t know about this does he?”

“I refuse to say,” she smiled,”as I don’t wish to incriminate myself.”

“Hey I thought you said there was patient privacy?”

“There is, but we’re talking Mr. Kuryakin here,” she winked. “Know what I mean?”

“I’m afraid I do…” Napoleon could just feel the ‘I told you so’ torment coming his way in spades, voiced by that Russian, no doubt, in multiple languages.

Comments

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Guffaw... ho, so Solo finally gets a reality check regarding his promiscuity. He's lucky it isn't something worse. Funny and sort of sad commentary, but totally believable.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thank you, yeah a wake up call to him I suppose. It would stand to reason it would eventually happen to him. I wasn't sure if readers would not like the story given what I have happening to our hero Napoleon.

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

Knew it would happen eventually. He's only human, after all. Wake up call indeed.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

good, you're okay with it too. I was concerned it wouldn't go over well. Thanks for reading and the comment!! "D

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

It was bound to happen. He couldn't dodge that bullet forever ;-)

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Wow glad everyone is agreeing with me. Sometimes the agents are put on a pedestal/hero worship, and getting an STD is a touch of reality that some might not like to think would happen to their idol.

thanks for the comment!