"Distractions" ~ For the Short Affair 11/9

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Challenge: The Short Affair

-Prompt Word #1 - Annoy

-Prompt Colour – Grey

Author: mrua7

Title: Distractions

Napoleon and Illya walked side by side along the grey corridors of UNCLE headquarters. As usual Solo was focused on the beautiful women who passed by in their enticingly tight yellow or blue blouses and fitted black pencil skirts.

Watching the swaying of their hips was almost hypnotic. The ladies of course, responded to his smiles and acknowledgement of them.

A few of them stared at Kuryakin, looking for some reaction, but were quickly disappointed.

Illya never even gave them as much as a glance. He had his nose buried in a file; his blue eyes hidden by the tinted reading glasses resting on his nose as he continued to walk beside his partner.

Somehow he managed not to bump into a single person or miss a turn without looking up from what he was reading; that and the fact he was oblivious to the much more interesting female forms around them began to annoy Solo.

He reached over with his arm, putting his open hand to the Russian’s chest, stopping him in his tracks.  Illya’s glasses slipped down, now suspended at the end of his nose as his blue eyes stared with a questioning expression at Solo.

“Illya I know you like women, but is there something wrong with you today? How can you completely ignore these gorgeous ladies here in headquarters?”

“Trust me I am not ignoring them, or their glances and smiles. I am simply not responding to them. I need to read this file as you should be doing. We do have a meeting with Mr. Waverly in ten minutes.”

“And I know like a good partner you’ll fill me in before hand. You do recall that I like to fly by the seat of my pants, don’t you?”

“How could I forget, but still one can only hope that a leopard can change his...no forget that. One can simply hope you will see the error of your ways when you realize now is not the time or place for flirting with the ladies. We are responsible to be prepared before we meet with our superior to discuss what happened on our recent assignment and defend our actions.”

Napoleon tapped his index finger to his temple. “I keep it all here and don’t need to rehash the details from a file buddy boy.”

“Suit yourself,” Illya pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose.

As they entered, Waverly waved them on and the two seated themselves in silence at the large circular conference table.

“Gentlemen, as you know I’ve called you here to review a case file from six months ago which accounting has brought to my attention. As usual they are questioning certain expenditures and losses that occurred. They are behind in their reviews to say the least.

“Which would explain why it takes so long for us to be reimbursed,” Illya asked. “So this is not about our last mission?”

“No it is not Mr. Kuryakin.”

Napoleon flashed his partner a smug look. Illya had boned up on that file for nothing.

“Specifically, it’s about the Vermont Affair. Mr. Solo you submitted vouchers for the replacement of the contents of your entire suitcase and the suitcase as well."

“It was lost when our car went over the side of a bridge,” Napoleon said.

“I’m well aware of that, but it’s the contents that are being questioned. Three suits, and three pairs of shoes along with ski wear are what’s standing out to accounting as well as the value of the case as well. That was an overnight mission so the extra clothing seems a bit odd.”

“I can answer that sir.” Illya said. “Napoleon, with his proclivity for damaging his clothing even on short assignments always brings multiple suits with him.  One that he is wearing, and two back ups, which he invariably needs. The ski togs were just incase he needed to take to the slopes for the sake of the mission.”

“Hmm, that is a reasonable answer, given Mr. Solo’s track record. Now as to the automobile that went over said bridge. You Mr. Kuryakin have set a new record for the loss and destruction of UNCLE transportation.”

“Sir,” Napoleon interrupted.” If Mr. Kuryakin hadn’t driven our car off the bridge we would have be captured, most likely killed and the microdot we’d stolen would have fallen back into the wrong hands. The mission was a complete success because of his actions.”

Alexander Waverly sighed his resignation.  His agents needed to be able function to the best of their ability and not be worrying about monetary costs...within reason.  The success of their missions far outweighed the needs of accounting to badger his field agents with needless questions about what they need in order to do their jobs.  Section II has enough on their minds endeavoring to succeed with their assignments and stay alive in the process.

“Very well gentlemen, I will inform Accounting of your responses, however, I do caution you in the future to try to be more careful. And Mr. Solo make do with less clothing and accoutrements when on assignment. Now dismissed.”

“Yes sir, we will endeavor to do so,” Illya said.

“Yes sir,” Solo added.

The two men exited the office the same way they’d entered, side by side.

“Napoleon I suggest you learn to sew,” Illya snickered.

“And maybe I should drive from now on? Your driving after all was the cause of the loss and damage of my clothing and luggage. You didn’t submit an expense for the loss of your suitcase; that sort of made me look bad.”

“There was just underwear, my shaving kit and a shirt. The valise was a used one I found at a thrift shop. Nothing really of value.” Illya suddenly paused. “Are you really trying to lay blame on me?”He removed his tinted glasses, shoving them into his breast pocket.

“If the shoe fits.”

“All right, I will remember that next time you need rescuing,” Illya huffed.

“No need to get testy...I was just kidding.”

“That was meant to be funny? Napoleon, sometimes your sense of humor leaves much to be desired.”

“So sue me,” the American shrugged.

“I would not sue you but as an apology I will let you buy me lunch at the deli across the street. Though I may have ruined three of your suits and ski wear, all of which you will be reimbursed for, but more importantly I managed to save your life, at the cost of an UNCLE car.”

“True,” Napoleon hesitated.” Okay, lunch is on me.”

“Good. I am in the mood for a pastrami on rye and some nice chicken soup, though I hear their matzo ball soup is quite good as are the knishes...did you know that knish is a Yiddish word that was derived from the Ukrainian knysh and Polish knysz? Their latkes are delicious too…”

Napoleon shook his head, listening to his partner ramble on about the deli menu. Still, feeding Illya was a was a small price to pay not for the joke but for having saved their lives on that assignment. He’d forgotten about that until Waverly brought up the incident with the car.

“Guess I really should get in the habit of rereading files,” he thought to himself as they entered the elevator.

Mitzi Meyers was standing there, a woman with a perfect hourglass shape and gorgeous green eyes but Napoleon paid her no mind as his thoughts were elsewhere.

“Hmmm, pastrami on rye does sound good,” he suddenly said out loud, ignoring Mitzi's shapely derriere as she stepped out of the elevator to the next floor.

Comments

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

A nice bit at the finish; and I do like how they defend each other to Waverly.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Waverly knows when they're bending the truth or not, and what they said was reasonable.

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

My word, Illya managed the impossible and got Napoleon not to notice a woman. I loved how they backed each other up over the expense claims. Great story.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Yes a rare moment for Napoleon and a rarer success for Illya.

[otherhawk.livejournal.com]

Very nice, like everyone else I like the way they back up each others reasoning. Together in the face of all adversity, even the boss...?

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

The Old Man knows then they're lying for sure, so at least their answers were honest and reasonable enough for him to accept them. Glad you liked the story! Thank you! :D