"The things we do for U.N.C.L.E." for PicFic Tuesday 11/24

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

The prompt:

Solo and Kuryakin ran along the sidewalk, dodging the many shoppers or those out for an evening stroll. In pursuit of the brave UNCLE agents were two rather large goons, hell bent on catching them and taking back what Napoleon and Illya had stoen.

“There!” Illya pointed to the entrance to a nearby restaurant.

The two ducked inside, and without regard for the patrons, they ran through the dining are; in the process  knocking over a waiter or two.

“Beg pardon,”Illya called back; he paused for a split second beside a large fish tank containing at five rather lively lobsters

“Come on! We can have dinner later! “Napoleon shouted, waving his partner toward the kitchen just as the goons appeared.

Again the patrons were disturbed; one stuffy looking woman in particular blurted out to the men.

“Well I never!”

One of the T.H.R.U.S.H. goons took the time to respond. “Lady if I looked like you then I never would either.”

“You beast!” She moaned; promptly fainting and creating even more havoc.

Napoleon and Illya muscled their way through the kitchen, tossing pots and pans to the floor behind them to slow down their pursuers and wisely, the staff ducked out of the way.

The goons went flying, landing on their keisters and struggled to get up to continue the chase.

In the meanwhile Solo and Kuryakin exploded out the back door to an alleyway, doubling back out to the street where they managed to hail a cab; taking off and leaving the Thrushies in a cloud of exhaust from a backfire in the tailpipe.

“Well that was fun,” Napoleon exhaled. He gave the cabbie the address to Del Floria’s; looking over his shoulder one more time to make sure they still weren’t being followed.

“I think we lost them. Now all we have to do is deliver the capsule to Mr. Waverly and we’re done partner.”

“Umm, yes about that… I no longer have it in my possession,” Illya admitted.

“Don’t tell me you lost it?”

“No, not exactly.”

“Well then where is it Illya?” Solo’s impatience was becoming evident.

“Remember the lobster tank back in the restaurant?”

“Here I thought you were just stopping to admire a potential dinner. You’re kidding...you threw it in there?

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Illya shrugged.

Napoleon scratched his head. “Well we can’t exactly go back there right now as we sort of helped to trash the place. So how do you propose we get it back?”

“A little after hours work perhaps?” Illya’s eyes twinkled.

.

Once the restaurant closed, the partners arrived dressed completely in black; deciding it was best to break in the way they'd exited and that was the back in the alleyway.

Napoleon reached up to an incandescent light bulb that glowed above the doorway, unscrewing it enough to extinguish the light. Illya knelt with his lockpick in hand, making quick work of opening the lock, and voila, they were inside.

There were lights left on the kitchen, giving them a clear path into the restaurant. Everything seemed to have been put back in order as they made their way out to the front.

There lights left on there as well, and luckily where they stood beside the lobster tank was out of view to anyone who might have looked in through the front windows.  All would look as it should.

Napoleon and Illya stared into the tank watching the lobsters as their mouths and antennae twitched. Kuryakin pointed his pocket flashlight along the bottom of the tank, searching for the capsule.

“I never realized lobsters were colored so differently,”Napoleon said. He peered into the tank as well, while Illya continued to bend over, studying the creatures and they moved about. Everything was so quiet, except for the sound of the bubbles that were aerating the water.

“There are actually blue lobsters, and yellow ones too but they’re extremely rare, even bi-color as well. Still, they all turn red after being cooked as their shells contain the pigment astaxanthin which is naturally red, but when it binds with certain proteins it can appear blue or yellow. If lobsters could choose the color of their shells, I would imagine they would probably pick blue and definitely not yellow. Standing out from the crowd is not in any animal’s best interests. The normal coloring of a lobster as we see here...the greenish blue to blackish brown helps it blend with its environment, protecting it from predators. A yellow lobster would of course be easy to see in dark water along the bottom on the ocean.”

Napoleon shook his head. “Why thank you for the lesson Diver Dan.* So do you see the capsule?”

“Not it at all,” the Russian growled, though actually it was his stomach. “There is no way I was noticed putting it here as it was done so quickly. It has to be here.”

“Illya, why do I have a feeling one of the lobsters might have swallowed it?”

“Well there is the same number of them that was here earlier, ergo... none were sold.”

“So Mr. Kuryakin, it’s not like we can exactly search them now can we?”

“What do you propose?”

“Ever cook a lobster?”

“No…” Illya canted his head to one side.”You want to cook them all?”

“Well I’m not going to risk being attacked while searching them. Nor am I about to kill them, and let all that delicious meat go to waste.”

The sudden thought of food elicited a sly, half-smile from the Russian. “I am game.”

“I kind of thought you’d be tovarisch. Now how are we going to get these things out of the water? I don’t want to risk putting with my bare hands in there since their claws haven’t been bound. See any tongs around?”

‘Click-Click.” Illya held them up, “Do you mean these?”

“Good. You catch the crustaceans and I’ll go boil the water, and find the seasonings.”

“Napoleon, I do not think this is the time for gourmet cooking?”

“Tsk. Humor me will you please?”

“Fine.”

Once the water was bubbling in several large pots, the lobsters were unceremoniously dumped in.

“May they rest in peace,”Napoleon said. “They’re giving their lives to a good cause.”

Illya couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “How long before they are done?”

“These’ll take about 20-25 minutes to cook as they look like they’re about 1 - 2 pounds each. In the meantime we can reduce the butter, and slice some lemons,” Napoleon rolled up his sleeves.

Forty-five minutes later the agents sequestered themselves in a corner of the restaurant, giving them cover from unwanted eyes. There the two of them, wearing their purloined lobster bibs, holding nutcrackers and picks in their hands, dug into their feast.

It was when Illya started eating his second lobster that he located the capsule, holding it up in fingers dripping with juices and butter.

“Thank God. I still had a shadow of a doubt it wasn’t here,” Napoleon picked up his second lobster; though he was nearly stuffed. Still there was no reason to let the rest of them go to waste was there.  He and Illya polished them off, though the two-pounder he left to his partner’s appetite.

Once finished, they cleaned up after themselves, making sure the trash was ready to go out, and all the dishes, cutlery and pots were scrubbed;  being carefully put back where they belonged.

Solo left a note along with his business card at the cash register for the lobsters to be billed to U.N.C.L.E.

“Hmmm, accounting is going to have a field day with this I think...five lobsters,” Illya mused.

“Hey,” Napoleon grinned,”At least there’s no tip? I don’t know about you but those were the best lobsters I ever had.”

Kuryakin clicked his tongue as he carried out the trash, followed by his partner who locked the door behind them.

“That depends upon whose expense account they will end up going on.”

“Always the cheapskate aren’t you Illya?”

“As I have said to you many times before; I am not cheap...I am frugal.”

It was Solo’s turn to roll his eyes.

* Diver Dan was a television show for children in the 1960s. It involved a deep see diver and lots of fish puppets. (you could always see the strings)

Comments

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Glad you liked it. There'll be a follow-up of sorts today, "D