The Grumpiest Christmas Elf - Short Affair - Dec 7th

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Prompts - Enslave/Yellow
Word Count (approx.) - 467


“Ow!!”

The small child, wearing a yellow bobble hat, ducked out of the way as the grouchy elf he’d just kicked tried to grab him. The child sought refuge on the knee of Santa Claus. Hidden behind the bushy white beard, it was all Napoleon Solo could do not to laugh out loud at his tormented partner. Illya, bedecked in a green elf costume, complete with jingling green hat and plastic pointed ears, cursed under his breath. That was the twentieth time he’d been assaulted by one of the children waiting to see Santa. He couldn’t understand why the adults accompanying the children didn’t do something to curb the behaviour of their ill-disciplined offspring.

“He’s grumpy,” the hat wearing child whispered to Napoleon.

“Yes, well, Snarky the Elf doesn’t like being kicked,” Solo replied. “That very was naughty of you, wasn’t it? Maybe you should apologise.”

The child turned to face Illya and offered him a half-hearted “s’ry”, before turning back to Santa Napoleon and spouting off an epic list of all the things he wanted for Christmas. Illya wasn’t sure how much more he could take of all the naked greed he was witnessing from these children. In the west, it seemed that people were enslaved to consumerism at a very early age. Like every child before him, the hat wearer promised to be good and took the small gift Illya held out for him. It took every ounce of will power not to throw it.

Being a department store Christmas elf wasn’t the worst assignment Illya had ever had, but he would take a THRUSH torture session over this any day. He had no idea why Napoleon had dragged him in on this in the first place. After all, only one of them was needed to intercept the courier. The Russian strongly suspected that the American was simply having a laugh at his expense.

U.N.C.L.E. had learned that THRUSH were going to pass stolen security codes to a courier who was posing as Santa Claus. The courier had been waylaid by Solo and Kuryakin, and his place taken by them. The beauty of Napoleon’s disguise was that it was almost impossible to tell who was behind the beard. As a result, the handover went without the THRUSH operative noticing to whom he was really giving the codes. She was playing the part of a fussing mother, who shook Santa’s hand as she lifted ‘her’ child from his lap. The microfilm containing the codes was passed in the handshake.

That had been three hours ago, and despite Illya’s protestations, Napoleon insisted they complete the ‘Meet Santa Claus’ session. After all, he’d said, we don’t want to disappoint the kiddies.

As another child landed a hefty kick against his shin, Illya swore dark revenge on his partner.

.

Comments

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Definitely. Santa should know better than to annoy that particular elf :-)