"Cats and Dogs" Part One ~ For PicFic Tuesday 2/2

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

“Oh dear,” Alexander Waverly’s distress was evident in his voice. “When did this happen Miss Rogers?”

“Just about a half hour ago so. Mr. Waverly I’m so sorry.”

“Not to worry dear girl. I’ll send Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin to help you with this unfortunate situation.”

He looked over at them as his two top agents were seated opposite him at his conference table. They were there under the assumption they would be briefed for an assignment, but then again situations were often fluid here at UNCLE headquarters. Priorites changed things very quickly.

“What is it sir, a mad scientist looking to destroy the world?” Napoleon asked.

Not to be outdone, Kuryakin chimed in. “Or a nuclear bomb waiting to be diffused.”

“

Oh if it were only that simple. Gentlemen as you have surmised, there has been a change of plans,” the Old Man turned his full attention to them. “We have a missing agent who needs to be found and brought home.” For some reason Waverly cracked a smile at that pronouncement..

Napoleon and Illya looked at each other feeling a bit confused at their boss’ reaction. Usually it was a somber affair when an agent was lost.

“Who sir,” Solo asked.

It was then Waverly began to chuckle. “I’m sorry young man, it should all be taken rather seriously given the affection everyone here at headquarters had for him.”

“Who is it?” Illya repeated.

“Oh, sorry gentlemen. It seems Shpion, our resident cat and mouser, has gone missing.”

“The cat?” Napoleon blurted out. “We have to go look for a cat? Wouldn’t someone from Section III be better suited…”

“Do you have a problem with doing this Mr. Solo?” Waverly tapped his pipe in the crystal ashtray in front of him.

“No umm, no sir. Where was the cat last seen?”

“At the veterinary clinic on East 52nd Street. Miss Rogers took him there for some vaccinations and he has somehow disappeared. I daren’t tell Mrs. Waverly anything has happened to him as she’s grown rather fond of the fellow; she’s been rather devastated since the passing of our beloved puss, Lucky. * Miss Rogers is waiting there for you at the clinic and you’re to continue the search with her. It’s a rather large place and the staff hasn’t been able to assist very much as there seems to be a run on patients today.”

The partners stood, preparing to leave.

“Oh and yes, take Wollman with you...he seems to be quite good at sussing things out. Remarkable pup that one.”

Napoleon could see the pained look in Illya’s eyes. “Must we sir?”

Waverly’s simple and only response was the raising of his bushy eyebrows.

“Yes sir.” Illya answered, dejected at the thought of having to deal with a dog.  Every since Napoleon brought the stray back from Central Park that fateful snowy day from Wollman rink, the dog has been roaming the halls of headquarters.  Though he remained mostly in the Security office and went home at night with Tom Lopaka, the beast still was allowed to wander if it so wished.  At least Security was good enough to give the Russian a heads up when the dog was out and about, thanks to Wollman being issued his own ID badge.

The men stepped into the corridor, looking rather perplexed.  Solo at having to rescue a cat and Illya at having to come within ten feet of Wollman.

“I’ll go get the dog Illya, you can get a car from the motor pool.”

“What is wrong with your car?”

“And get dog hair in it...no thanks.”

Illya flashed him a snarky look at that remark.

Napoleon arrived with Wollman on a leash at the UNCLE parking garage, and looking around he didn’t see his partner anywhere.

A minute later a blue powder blue Volkswagen van came round the corner, stopping in front of him. Illya waved him over.

“Use the side door and sit in the back with him please?”

“You’ve got to be kidding, really?”

“No I am not. Keep that dog as far away from me as possible.”

Napoleon shook his head as he called for Wollman to jump up into the van.

“Come on boy, Mr. Chicken is afraid of you.”

“There is no need for name calling. I am not afraid of dogs; I simply do not like them and you know why,”Illya raised his voice ever so slightly.



Wollman growled.

“Tovarisch, you need to improve your attitude as our friend here can smell fear you know, and he’s sensing your crabbiness too.”

“Knock it off. Number one, he is not my friend and number two I was not being crabby...you were the one who was doing the name calling.”

“Tsk tsk. Being a bit childish aren’t we?”

Illya said nothing as he hit the gas pedal, pulling out of the garage in a huff as soon as Solo closed the sliding door behind himself.

Traveling via 1st Avenue near the United Nations Plaza and E 49th Street, it would take no more than twelve minutes or so to drive to the clinic.

Illya pulled the van curbside as soon as they arrived and not waiting for his partner; he walked immediately into the veterinary office.

Kuryakin immediately regretted that as the waiting room was filled with a number of dogs and their owners. There was a monstrous Great Dane that promptly leapt up, pinning the Russian to the wall, while putting its paws on his shoulders.

The look of fear in his eyes was evident as he grimaced, not sure what to do. He couldn’t draw his weapon here, but if it meant keeping the monster from going for his throat, then he would.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” a pretty blonde, quite petite apologized. “Down Duke, now!” She ordered the animal, and Duke complied instantly.

“He has a thing for blond hair, I guess because I’m blonde. Don’t worry he’s quite friendly, more like big teddy bear than a dog.”

Solo walked in just as the dog finally stepped down.

”Hey partner quit messing around will you?”  Wollmann let out a couple of barks, announcing his presence to the other dogs, a few...including Duke woofed their response as if to welcome him.

Napoleon walked over to the receptionist’s desk, smiling at the pretty girl standing their. Admiring her for a moment.”

“Hi there gorgeous,” he went immediately into flirting mode and just knew Illya was behind him, rolling his eyes.” And what’s your name?”

“Carlotta.”

“Well Carlotta we have this little problem.”

“Returning patient?” She smiled shyly, fluttering her lashes at him.

“Ahh, no.”

“New patient then? Just fill this out.” She shoved a clipboard in front of him. “And what seems to be the problem? Awww what a cute dog...looks like Tramp, you know from that Disney cartoon.”

“Not a patient Miss,” Illya spoke over his partner’s shoulder.

Solo held out his identification.”We’re here to help with the little problem…”

“Oh, Shpion. Yes your Miss Rogers is back in the kennel waiting for you. I’ll show you there if you’ll follow me...Mr. Solo.” She was a quick study, having read his name on his ID card.

“Yes, that would be good thank you,” Illya said, looking around at the dogs in the waiting room, swearing they were hungrily eyeing him.

They followed her along a long corridor leading to the kennel in the back of the building. “And the dog is with you because…?”

“He’s part bloodhound and is going to help us sniff out the missing kitty,” Napoleon answered.

“This is so embarrassing,” she said.”We’ve never lost a patient like this before.”

“I am sure you will get over it,” Illya snarked.

She looked at him rather strangely as she opened the door.

“So, maybe when we’re finished here we could go get a cup of coffee?” Napoleon whispered to her.

“I could manage that sure. Hope you find him quickly. Doctor is pretty embarrassed about this whole thing.”

“Ahem,” Illya cleared his throat none too subtly.

“See you later Carlotta,” Napoleon winked to her.

“You just cannot turn it off can you?” Illya grumbled.

Standing there, looking quite perplexed was Lisa Rogers.”

“Is he at it again Illya?” She asked.

“When is he not?”

“Thank goodness you’re here. Mr. Waverly said he was sending help but really I didn’t expect the likes of you.”

“Only the best for the most important of assignments,” Illya snickered. “Now where was the last place Shpion was seen?”

Lisa smiled; nothing like Kuryakin to get right down to business but then again, knowing his dislike of dogs he probably wanted to get this over as quickly as possible.

“He was left in his carry cage in exam room two with the vet, Dr. Dubowy. I was in the waiting room. The Doctor was called out to answer an important telephone call and when he returned the cat wasn’t in his cage with the door to it open.

“Can we go there now and let Wollman do his job?” Napoleon asked.

“Really, Wollman’s going to hunt him down? She reached out, giving the dog a pat on the head. “Good boy, you’re going to get me out of hot water right?”

Wollman whined, giving her a lick on the hand.

“Yes he is,” Napoleon proudly said.

“Is there more than one floor used by the clinic Miss Rogers?”Illya asked.

“Yes there’s two more above, one is for surgery and the third floor I’m told is for supply and some boarding of the more exotic pets.”

“Very well, then I will leave you to your search down here, while I concentrate on the upstairs. “ Illya spotted a door conveniently marked ‘stairwell’ and headed straight for it, not waiting.

“Illya…” Rogers called after him but he was gone.” I was just going to tell him there’s an elevator down the hall.”