The Beautiful Game - Short Affair - 29th February

[otherhawk.livejournal.com]

Prompt Word - Tackle
Prompt Colour - Orange
Word Count - 557

The Beautiful Game

Napoleon sat in the corridor outside medical, holding a cold compress to his aching head with one hand, and pressing an icepack against his swollen knee with the other. His ribs were throbbing too, and every now and then he shifted the icepack from his knee to his chest. Oh, he didn't have enough hands to deal with this.

Illya shifted on the bench beside him, holding his elbow uncomfortably, as he pressed a compress against his black eye. “This was not the way I expected to spend my Saturday,” he noted thoughtfully, through his swollen, bloody lip.

“No,” Napoleon agreed. “I always thought soccer was a non-contact sport?”

“Non-collision,” Illya corrected him. “Not non-contact.”

“Uh huh.” Napoleon peeled back the compress from his head and felt gingerly at the lump. “I don't know what game you were playing in, pal, but the one I was there for had plenty of contact. That last tackle nearly crippled me for life.”

“It is possible our British compatriots were not entirely playing according to the rules,” Illya conceded.

Yeah. If this was what they called a friendly game, he would hate to see a grudge match. “What did we ever do to the Brits anyway?” he wondered.

Illya looked at him. “I think it was the part where you were a little too obvious in your appreciation of Smyth's sister. Or possibly the part where you called Hetherton reckless in the course of rescuing him.”

“Or the part where you corrected Dr Saunders' math?” Napoleon suggested. “Or the part where you blew up Hetherton's luggage?”

“Or when both of you stole their car?” Mark shouted from somewhere further inside medical where he was getting stitches put in.

“That was absolutely necessary,” Illya called back. “And we had every intention of returning it.”

“Until you crashed it,” Napoleon said in an undertone.

“Until I crashed it,” Illya agreed.

Yeah. On second thoughts, he could see why the Brits might have had some frustrations to take out on the playing field.

“I did not even get a half time orange,” Illya said gloomily.

Napoleon frowned. “An orange what?”

“What?”

They stared at each other for a moment.

“Orange as in the fruit,” Illya explained. “At half time. It is tradition.”

Ah. Well, he didn't think they'd got as far as half time before they'd run out of uninjured players. “Why oranges though?” he wondered.

Illya shrugged. “A quick boost of energy to play the rest of the game?” he suggested.

“But anything could work for that,” he pointed out. “Why oranges in particular?”

“Perhaps they are afraid of getting scurvy in the middle of a match,” Illya suggested.

He smiled faintly and tried to move his leg into any position that was less painful. “I would have thought they would have let Mark alone at least.”

“They were Man U supporters,” Mark called out darkly, in a tone that both suggested that explained everything and managed to suggest the existence of some strange new swear words that Napoleon had not previously been aware of.

“You know,” Illya said. “They challenged us to a rematch the next time we're in London.”

He sighed, rubbing again at the goose-egg lump on his head. “Terrific. I can't wait.”

Comments

[pfrye.livejournal.com]

Oh NO....Not Manchester United!

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

There are tribes in the middle of the Amazon, who have no idea that other people exist, that support Man U :-)

If Napoleon thinks that was rough, he wants to try playing the modern game, lol. This was a great story, and I loved the bit about the oranges. When my uncle played for the local team in the 60s, they had half-time pints.

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

What an enjoyable scene! Thank you.

All well written fun, and I did lol at “Perhaps they are afraid of getting scurvy in the middle of a match,”

[ssclassof56.livejournal.com]

Great scene. I laughed aloud at Mark's comments from further inside medical.

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

Half time orange? Never heard of that. IK's scurvy comment was hilarious! Guys love to commiserate, don't they?

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha Manchester United? Here the loyalty lies with Liverpool as my cousin's husband is from there. Gotta say, him watching a match is more entertaining than the match itself. Yes, I'm very familiar with those 'strange swear words.'

This was a good story and a nice change of pace! Good thinking outside the box.

[rose-of-pollux.livejournal.com]

The Man U reference was lost on me, but I still enjoyed this! Poor Illya, even a soccer game has woe in store for him...

[jkkitty.livejournal.com]

Good thing it was a friendly game. Ouch, but so funny

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

What a scene, and the dialogue kept me chuckling. Imagine all of that suffering...