section7mfu | No Return (A Little Double Drabble Do Ya 9/21)

This was the result of a drabble switch with Anamary Armygram.

“Illya, please?”

“I said no.”

“But it becomes you, Tovarisch.”

Illya looked at his partner wearily. “My friend, I have come to accept that doing your paperwork is a part of my life. That is because you have managed to neatly edge it out of yours, and I too will receive a reprimand if it is not completed. But this is different, and I am putting my foot down.”

Napoleon assumed a wounded look. “Your motives are so low, Illya. Sure, if this doesn’t get done, no one’ll blame you. No one’ll even glance your way. And that’s all that matters. Not friendship, or loyalty, or sympathy for the human condition...”

The Russian sighed. “Napoleon, you know that you are my dearest friend, and ordinarily I would not hesitate to assist you in your hour of need. But I vividly recall the headache I developed last year offering you the kind of help you are seeking. That is a world of pain I do not wish to revisit.”

“But you did a splendid job, Tovarisch!”

“It is very kind of you to say so, my friend. But I still will not be doing your taxes for you again this year.”