A little Drabble will do ya--Bowling.

[jkkitty.livejournal.com]

Once more Napoleon wants to introduce his partner to a bit of Americana:

Once more Napoleon appeared at Illya’s door. 

“Come on partner, time to try another American sport.”

“Why not just tell me about it?”

“It isn’t the same as doing it.”

Illya shrugged his shoulders knowing he would have to follow his partner.

Pulling into a parking lot, Illya was surprised to see a large bowling ball and pins lit on top of the building.

“Bowling?”

“Another American pastime.  You should do well, it does take application of scientific principles and an understanding of the physics of ball movement.”

“Do you even understand what that means?”

“No but I’m sure you do.”

Illya stopped at the top of the lane, looking it over carefully.

“What are you doing?” Napoleon asked.

“I am calculating the likelihood of knocking down all the pins from the different reference point on the floor.”

“This is supposed to be a game of fun and skill, not a scientific experiment.” Napoleon grumbled.

Next Illya lifted a number of balls.

“Now what are you doing?”

“I am determining the force needed with the weight of each ball to get a strike.”

Selecting his ball, he threw it down the lane leaving the 6-10 split.

Napoleon smirked, “Seems your computations are off.”

Napoleon looked around. A few women were glancing his way.  Picking up a ball, he walked to his starting point, shook his backside a little then released the ball getting a strike.

“What was that may I ask?”  Illya questioned.

“It’s my luck shake.”

“It seems more like a peacock showing off for his peahen.”

On his next turn, Napoleon once more gave his shake and threw another strike.

“There is no scientific proof that shaking your behind helps improve bowling skills.”

“You get a strike your way, I’ll get one my way.” SmilIng at the gathered women.

“I thought you went for drinks, Where is your scotch and my vodka?”

“This is bowling Illya.  You drink beer while bowling.”

“Is that a written law?”

“No, but it’s standard bowling faire.”

“What else is there I should know about bowling?”

“It’s great for hanging out with friends, enjoying a few laughs, and getting a little exercise.”

“And to attract women, I see. Is there anything else I need to know?  Are these rules written down anywhere?

“Not written, tradition.  Well besides the beer, you have to eat oodles of pizza and pretzels”

“This game is getting more interesting by the minute.”

“Why are those people all dressed alike?”

“They belong to a team that bowls weekly in a league.”

“Why are there pads in those gutters?”

“Bumper bowling.  So children have a better chance of knocking down pins.”

“Why are the lights going down and turning blue? Napoleon the lanes, pins, bowling balls are lit up and now music and a light show.”

“It’s called midnight bowling, it makes it more fun.  Any more questions or can we continue now?”

“Why do Americans make everything so difficult?”

“Illya, just throw the ball!  Trying to distract me will not help your score.”

"So strike does not mean to hit someone?"

"No, just knocking down all the pins."

"And split, is not something broke in half?"

"That's right, it's leaving two pins standing that are separated."

"We do not eat a turkey?"

"The pins won't taste very good."

"A fence post is not made of wood?"

"Just leaving the 7-10 pins standing."

"A miss is not a woman?"

"If only it were."

"And in the Beer Frame, the loser buys the others a drink?"

"Yes. Which you do owe me."

"And you wonder why I do not understand your language."

“Napoleon, it is your turn, are you coming?”

“Be there in a minute.”

“Mmmm. Mmmm”  Illya impatiently waited for his partner to return.

Napoleon came over by him smiling while placing a piece of paper in his pocket.

“I assume you will be busy later tonight?”

“Of course not, I’ve got plans with you tonight.  This is for tomorrow.”

“May I ask what you were doing over there?”

“We were giving each other some pointers.”

“Her score was over two hundred before your went over.”

“I know,” Napoleon said lifting his ball smiling. “And she’ll be giving me pointers tomorrow.”

Relaxing with a scotch and vodka, Napoleon and Illya discussed the game.

“So, tovarisch I can’t believe you never bowled before.”

“My government sent me here to learn not to play.”

“What do you think of the game?”

“Once more I am confused by your American culture.”

“What’s the problem this time?”

“You have a game with language that does not mean what it usually does.  You adjust the lanes so the children cannot lose, then you turn off lights add loud music and weird lighting to make it more interesting?”

“Clam up and drink you vodka.”

                                                                

 

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