"Only in L.A." for the What if? Challenge

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Last week's prompt: "What if UNCLE HQ was in Los Angeles?"

Located on Hollywood boulevard, behind the doors of the Academy movie theatre in Los Angeles was the secret entrance to the United Network Command for Law and enforcement.

Movie goers had no idea the private elevator, bearing the sign "Employees only" led to the entrance of this clandestine organization. The only time this particular entrance into headquarters wasn’t used was when the theatre was closed, usually after the midnight show.

That required returning field agents to use an entrance located in a private parking garage belonging to UNCLE in the rear of the building. Not open to the general public; no one ever seemed to pay attention to it.

Once through the rear entrance, agents would have to navigate a series of corridors until they arrived inside headquarters which actually took up most of the city block. There were false businesses lining that side of the street; a candy shop, a dry cleaner, a stationary store, all whose back rooms were non-existent except for some small storage space for their products.

A well tanned Solo and a slightly pink Kuryakin, each wearing sunglasses, pastel polo shirts and casual trousers stepped into theatre. Napoleon was sporting a white sweater draped across his shoulders with the sleeves tied about his neck, while the Russian donned a light colored sports jacket.

There was no need to buy tickets as UNCLE personnel manned the ticket booth, concession stand, as well as masquerading as uniformed ushers, with small flashlights in their hands and guns under their jackets.

Solo and Kuryakin were well known to the staff, and the agent manning the concession stand merely pressed a button, opening the elevator doors for them.

Napoleon saluted him as the doors closed after them.

These theatre agents had double duty as they were preparing to start an early showing of the newest release, an epic war film called ‘The Great Escape.’

The doors of the elevator opened at agent reception, and there Napoleon and Illya received their gold ID badges.

A new female receptionist sitting at the desk pinned on Solo’s, as she had no doubt been instructed to do so by the other ladies, and she received a flirtatious smile in return from Napoleon.

“Hi there, and you are?”

“Pamela Mr. Solo.”

“Pam. May I call you that?”

“Honey you can call me anytime...I mean yes Pam is fine.” She practically swooned as she admired Solo's chisled features.

Kuryakin lifted his sunglasses, resting them atop his head as he rolled his eyes. She’d obviously been briefed on Napoleon’s love of the ladies.

Pam absent-mindedly handed Illya his badge, but suddenly squealed in delight when she finally looked at him.

“Oh my goodness Mr. Kuryakin has anyone ever told you that you look like that blond actor in the new Steve McQueen movie, you know the one about the prison camp? Shame he gets killed it it, I mean the blond, I think his name was Ashley-Pitt. Oh I hope I haven't just spoiled part of the movie for you?"

“No I have seen it Miss Paisley, nor do I care to watch a film about World War II, as I lived it.” He was rather harsh with her as he snatched his badge from her hand.

“Well I never,” she snapped her gum in response.

“I doubt that,”Illya mumbled under his breath.

Napoleon leaned over, whispering to her.”Don’t worry Pam, I’ll make up for Mr. Grumpy’s behavior when I take you out on Saturday night. How does the Brown Derby sound?”

“Ginchy!” She beamed.

“Oh it will be,” Solo winked at her before disappearing through the secondary entrance as the door opened with a gentle whoosh.

“Illya was that necessary? She was giving you a compliment, comparing you to that actor...what’s his name? McCallum. I saw him in the movie ‘Freud’ and he was absolutely gorgeous on screen, unlike you.”

“Very funny. I have no interest in following any actors, nor dealing with cow-eyed receptionists who fall to pieces at the mention of an actor’s name.”

“Illya, why are you so grouchy today?”

“I have a sunburn.”

“I did notice your face was a little pinkish, and how did you manage that? You never step foot out the door until the sun goes down, unless we're on an assignment. I swear you’re like a vampire, except you end up at that dive of a Jazz club, what’s it called again?”

“Shelly's Manne Hole, and it is not a dive. There is very good music played there, a lot of local talent.”

“So you still didn’t tell me why you’re sunburned?” They continued walking along the beige corridors, heading towards Mr. Waverly’s office.

That room was a cool drink of water in headquarters, since there were no windows the conference room had been filled with potted palms and ferns with special lighting for them.  Instead of beige, the walls were painted a pale blue, making it feel as if the sky surrounded all who entered there.

“To answer your question Napoleon, I went surfing at Venice beach.”

“That’s what you did on your day off? "

“And what is wrong with that?”

“Ugh...sunburn?” Napoleon reminded him sarcastically.

“I forgot my tanning lotion."

“I was wondering why you’re hair was so blond. It’s getting long too; you’d be able to blend in with the locals beach bums if you weren't so pale."

“Yes it is long and I like it like this.” Illya ignored the other remark.

“I'm surprised you went to Venice beach since its filled with nothing but oiled bodybuilders lifting weights and the bathing beauties who surround them. I doubt those girls would even give you a second glance, given how skinny and pasty looking you are.”

“Very funny. I was not there to flirt, I was there to surf.”

“An no one tried to beat you up?”

"No, that lot is too busy admiring themselves and the women admiring them. And what did you do on your day off, chase after some Hollywood starlet?”

“What do you think?” Napoleon snickered again. "I met Natalie Wood, and man she is stunning in person.”

“Natalie Wood? Never heard of her.”

“Illya, I need to get you out more often. Why don’t you come with me to my beach bungalow this weekend. You can work on a tan, relax on the private beach.  My neighbors are the Carlotta twins, Iva and Ivanna. Identical blonde bombshells. Va-va-va-voom! They’re trying to break into pictures.”

“Bombshells? Breaking into the theatre? Napoleon you have very questionable neighbors. Are they THRUSH? And how is it you can afford this beach house, we do not make that much money.”

“Tovarisch, I swear there’s no hope for you. Now as to my bungalow...let’s say I have a special arrangement with Gina, my landlord.”

“My friend, only you.” Illya simply walked away, trying his best not to roll his eyes again.

Comments

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Superb! I love the reference to that actor 'McCallum', LOL. I love the idea of having a cinema as secret entrance. You'll have to explain 'Ginchy' to me, I'm afraid.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Superb? Wow, thank you!

Ginchy: The first usage of the word was the novelty song Kookie, Kookie, lend me you comb (1959), by Ed Kookie Byrnes. He actually used the word "ginchiest" ("Baby, you're the Ginchiest"), not ginchy. The whole 'song' is a bit spaced out, and it would be completely in character for him to make up a new word.

'Ginchy' was interpreted by the kids of the day as meaning that a person or thing was excellent, admirable, and/or elegant.

I remember this song from my childhood....as well as the show 77 Sunset Strip. Ed Bynes was the ginchiest in his day...

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

You were right about it being spaced out :-)

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Kookie was a kind a 'daddy-o, dig it' sort of character. Definitely 'Kookie', pun intended. He was a real heart throb back then, as you could tell by the screams on the video. It was pretty early in Connie Stevens career as I recall.

What's scary is I understand everything he's saying even though it seems out there. Talk about early lip syncing... no controversy over that back then. lol!

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

I remember the show but not that word ;) I don't think it made it down to Orange County :D

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

In the song it was 'ginchyist' which morphed eventually to 'ginchy' My mom used to use ginchy. lol. That's what made me think of it. lol!