section7mfu | Non-Challenge Fic: April Fools

Napoleon took a seat at the table and interrupted his jaunty whistling long enough to offer a greeting. Faustina smiled distractedly as she monitored the sugar cascading from the dispenser into her coffee cup. Illya grunted from behind his newspaper. Napoleon whistled more loudly and tapped an accompaniment on the table.

“Evidently you are waiting for one of us to ask why you are so chipper,” Illya said without moving the paper.

“Umm-hmm.”

“And you will continue to make irritating noises until we do?”

“Smart Russian.”

Illya lowered the paper with a sigh. “Tell us, Napoleon, what makes you so chipper today?”

“Glad you asked. For the first time ever, not a single one of my expenses was denied.”

“Even your suit?” Faustina asked, eyeing his new blue serge.

“And the seven bouquets of flowers you sent?”

“Those were in the line of duty.”

“Congratulations.” Illya straightened his paper with a snap. “Truly a red letter day.”

Napoleon’s mouth twisted. “With that attitude, I may reconsider my plans to invite you to a celebratory dinner tonight.”

Illya folded down one corner of newsprint, his blue eyes alight with amusement. “Name the restaurant, and I will adjust my attitude accordingly.”

Faustina chuckled. Napoleon stood. “I’m going to find a more appreciative audience,” he declared and walked away.

Illya resumed his reading. Faustina sipped her coffee and stared at the headlines. After a few minutes, she asked, “What will you do when he remembers it’s April 1st?”

“I have not decided. I am hopeful he will not have the realization until after the dessert course.”

“What prompted this diabolical prank?”

“It is my own celebratory event. In reality it was my expense report that was entirely approved.”

“Congratulations,” she said and drained her cup.

“Thank you.”

After a moment, he laid the paper on the table. She smiled seraphically. His eyes narrowed. “I will have your teeth for cufflinks.”

“Only if you catch me.”