Writer's Choice: A poem in two languages

[franciskerst.livejournal.com]

Since I am in the mood and my previous poetic offering was well received, I dare to reiterate, this time with two pieces, one in French and the other in English. The English version being a translation from the French one and, I am afraid, not of the same quality. It was meant to be the prologue of a story that was never written.

This is the English version:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12894591

And this the French original:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12894237

May I ask for a favour? I hadn't posted this old piece earlier because I was not satisfied with my English text (The French is really much better). I'd be very grateful to get all suggestions of improvement you could find.

I am very late to post because I have been ruminating about it for hours. My apologies.

Comments

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this, it is somber but rings true.