"Trick or Treat" for The Seven Days of Halloween- Day 7

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Everyone was looking forward to April Dancer's annual Halloween party; it was the light at the end of a very unsuccessful week for Solo and Kuryakin as well as a number of other Section II agents, including the hostess.

It was as if a dark cloud had been hanging over all their missions, making would should have been easy bits of work go completely sideways.

Dancer wasn't going to let a little injury spoil her party as she looked forward to pulling out all the stops. She cooked as did a few of the other women, and even a couple of the men contributed, though their appetizers and desserts left a lot to be desired.

George Dennell brought brought a tray of something called ham and banana hollandaise.

April accepted it from him with what one could only call a fake smile; she buried it at the back of food table, hidden behind the punch bowl. Sitting next to it was an orange jello mold with bits of salad inside it.

There was something called a frosted ribbon loaf sitting there, and she had no idea who'd brought it or the jello mold for that matter. Both dishes somehow appeared on the table with a cards describing their contents. The ribbon loaf was cringeworthy...cream cheese frosting when sliced through reveals layers of ham and egg. There was a tomato stuffed with something green sitting on top of it, the contents of which looked like the garnish on top of the cream cheese.

April shuddered when she saw these contributions. She continued being a convivial hostess, though she was walking with a limp as she worked the room with trays of hors d'oeuvres.

She'd gone to a lot of trouble to make deviled eggs with little horns sliced from of bits of pepperoni, small cocktail franks wrapped and baked in dough to make them look like little mummies, Ritz crackers decorated with Snack Mate cheese from a spray can, decorated with black olives that looked like bugs, green olives that were used as eyes, little finger sandwiches in the shape of fingers.

Everyone mingled, dressed in their costumes, Mark was a devil with a red cape, horns, and a lovely tail that he kept swinging around in his hand. He was chatting up Wanda who was dressed as a mermaid. Her glistening green tail was attached to a wristlet, which was a very clever way to keep it out of harm's way. No doubt Mark was enjoying the view as she'd had a brassiere made with large clamshells.

There were pirates, princesses, a Sherlock Holmes, a unicorn ...a costume worn by two Section III agents. It made it a little hard for them to get around or to eat and drink and they finally abandoned their costume in favor of being able to party.

The alcohol was flowing and there was plenty of flirting going on, usually after one of April's parties a few lucky couples went home together.

Dancer, dressed in a cowgirl costume replete with cap guns in her two holsters suddenly realized two very important people were missing, Napoleon and Illya.

She, along with everyone else was looking forward to Illya's annual trick he always played on his partner while amazing everyone else. Whether it was smoke and mirrors, makeup, robotics or prestidigitation, the wily Russian managed to get Napoleon good every year.

As if on cue the doorbell rang. After opening the door, April saw Illya standing there dressed in his usual black suit and turtleneck, but covering his right eye was a black patch.

"Illya, what are you supposed to be? You don't quite look like a pirate, though you do look rather mysterious, like a villain out of a James Bond movie," She said as he walked inside, handing her a bottle of vodka.

"I am me as to the villain, I think you have been watching too many spy films. I am wearing the patch as there was a little mishap in the lab...a spec of metal hit me in the eye and the doctor insisted I wear this patch for a few days. Since I was in medical I did not have time to plan a costume."

"That's a shame, no tricks this year?"

"Sorry, no,"he shrugged." If you do not mind I need something to eat as they did not feed me while I was up in the Medical Suite."

"Oh sure, go help yourself. Though there's a couple of dishes I'd avoid like the jello mold, the ham and banana hollandaise and the ribbon loaf. They're all pretty scary."

"Is that not the point of Halloween?" He chuckled."Though compared to my week, none of that sounds very frightening. April, is Napoleon here?"

"No he's not as far as I can tell, not an Emperor Bonaparte in sight."

"That is odd, he said he was going to get here early; he wanted to start drinking right away. He is fairly...how you say, burned out?"

"You boys really did have a rough week didn't you."

"April my dear, that is an understatement if ever I have heard one," Kuryakin nodded. "Now if you will excuse me, the food and a tumbler of cold vodka are calling to me."

"Oh boy,"Dancer shook her head. She recalled the last party where Napoleon and Illya both got stinking drunk. Solo was so plastered he couldn't mark an X in a box when she made them take a three question test for sobriety. He printed a barely visible X on the piece of paper, but nowhere near where he was supposed to have marked it.

Illya wasn't that far behind him, though he insisted that no self-respecting Russian could be drunk on vodka.

She chuckled to herself knowing that wasn't true at all…

Illya made a plate for himself, coleslaw, macaroni salad, potato salad for the sides. He spotted a tray of rare roast beef and put a heaping amount on a hard roll, slicing it in half.

He decided to hold off on the vodka and grabbed a bottle of beer. Walking over to an empty chair that seemed to be a new one and he sat down on it with a sigh.

Illya felt it something move beneath his rump and rose up from the chair with a jerk that sent his plate of food flying, most of it landing on Mark Slate's head including a pair of deviled eggs the stuck to his horns.

Everyone burst out in drunken laughter, including the usually somber Russian. He turned back to the chair to see what had startled him.

Illya lifted the back and bottom cushions, and received an even bigger surprise.

"Hi there tovarisch," Napoleon grinned. "Tricked you didn't I?"

"Well done my friend, a brilliant costume and a nice change from your usual Napoleon Bonaparte attire I might add."

The doorbell rang, and in walked Napoleon Solo dressed in his Emperor's costume. "Sorry I'm late...where's the scotch?"

Kuryakin did a double take, suddenly seeing that Napoleon was not in the chair and nowhere in sight. He walked up to the Emperor Napoleon and whispered.

"I know how you did it. You had someone made up to look like you, a doppelganger to be precise. I know this to be true as I used the same trick myself last year with the werewolf costume."

"You just think you're so smart, don't you?" Napoleon sneered.

"I am, as you have called me a 'smart Russian' many's the time."

Suddenly one of April's decorations seated at the dining table, three skeletons to be precise, came to life. It was a pile of bones with a skeleton head wearing glasses that began to move. One by one the plastic bones slipped away to reveal Solo hidden beneath them.

"Hello there!" He lifted the skull from his head and set it on the table." Gee I must have fallen asleep. What did I miss?"

Illya stood there with his mouth open, as the Emperor Napoleon had removed his mask and it was George Dennell...he still didn't know who it was hidden in the chair.

Solo rose from the table and stretched, "Now if you'll excuse me I need to use the bathroom.

A second later April's door opened and in walked Napoleon Solo in a tux and red satin lined opera cape.

"Count Dracula has arrived," Napoleon flashed his fangs as he did a Count Zark imitation, just before he rushing at Wanda. "I vant to drink your blood...bleh bleh-bleeeh!"

She screamed as he went for her neck, and everyone in the room burst out into a fit of laughter.

"Well tovarisch?" Solo removed his vampire fangs.

Illya smiled "I guess you finally have me, or do you?" He placed two fingers to his lips and made a loud whistle."On the count of three everyone. One-two-three!"

Those wearing full masks removed them, revealing Illya Kuryakin's face. There were at least six of him now facing Splo.

"Wait.." Napoleon did a 360. "I'll see and raise you pal." He snapped his fingers and disappeared. He was there one second, gone the next.

"I think he finally got you Illya," April shoulder bumped the Russian.

"Perhaps so, but he is the one missing the party. Now if you will excuse me, I have another plate of food to make up and I think I will have that vodka now," Kuryakin winked.

Once Illya got what he wanted he parked himself on April's leather sofa and inhaled his food before anything else happened, as after all, he was hungry.

He watched as George Dennell when over to the food table and grabbed the cloth.

"Watch everyone as the Great Dennello performs some of slight of hand!" He pulled it, endeavoring to do his trick. Instead of producing a feat of magic, he sent the food flying in every direction.

The jello mold hit the ceiling and for some reason it stuck, hanging there like an orange blob.

April collapsed on the sofa beside Kuryakin, slapping her forehead in exasperation for a party that now had no food, plus the mess. Illya calmly handed her his tumbler of vodka.

"Thank you, I need this!" She nearly emptied it.

Someone turned up the stereo and the song 'Monster Mash' blasted from the speakers, sending the partiers into a frenzied version of 'the twist'. Mister Waverly in his Frankenstein costume was a hit on the dance floor.

"I was working in the lab late one night When my eyes beheld an eerie sight, For my monster from his slab began to riseAnd suddenly to my surprise, He did the mash, He did the monster mash, The monster mash, It was a graveyard smash..."

No one heard the pounding at the apartment door as Napoleon stood out in the hallway trying to get back into the party.

Sadly, he had no lock pic with him.

"Happy Halloween, " he mumbled to himself.

"Happy Halloween to you too," a voice spoke from behind him. It was Heather McNabb dressed in a skimpy nurses uniform.

"Don't you look like quite the sexy vixen,"he smiled.

"You're looking sexy yourself," she smiled back at him. She had 'that' look in her eye, and it was right up his alley.

"This party's a bit of a drag Heather, how about we have a private party at my place instead?"

"No tricks now Napoleon."

"Oh no, only treats, that I can guarantee."

Comments

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

Thanks for a charming fic. A fun party, and fun to read about. That food does sound scary.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thank you! This was just a bit of silliness to end out the week of stories for me. Pretty bad that the scariest thing on Halloween was the food! Heh!

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Ha! That sounds like some party. The question is, how are NS or IK going to be able to top their tricks next year?)


(This is the third time in a week I've seen that ham and banana hollandaise. The first was on twitter, the second was on an old episode of a comedy panel show, and now here. I think I'm being haunted by it, LOL)

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

That's a good question! AND OMG, three times? Maybe it is haunting you. I hope you don't dream about it, though the banana is a rather phallic symbol. "D lol!

Thanks for the comment cuz!

[gevr.livejournal.com]

wow, I wish I could have participated in that party, it must have been something !
Some of the food could easily figure in Spikey's "what were they thinking" :-D
And indeed what are our boys going to do next year to top their performance of this year ??? Come and see ???

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

I think it may be April's last party to host as things got a little too wild thanks to George of all people. She might have to call in a cleanup crew from headquarters, given Mr.Waverly was at the party, he just might approve it. :D

The boys will have to hope for a new venue if they want to continue their Halloween rivalry.

I forgot about that 'what were they thinking' bit. Definitely bizarre concoctions yet the ham and banana hollandaise seems to be popular as Jantojones has seen it referenced three times this week. lol!

Thanks so much for the comment!