"Things that go bump" by Glennagirl for the Short Affair Challenge

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Posting this for Glenna who's still having computer issues:

Prompts: purple, damp

Word count: 431

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The purple mass on Napoleon's face was beginning to resemble an eggplant. A relatively small eggplant, but something out of the garden just the same.

"Darling, you're a mess. What on earth caused that, um… bruise?"

Napoleon flinched at the word bruise. April was being kind, avoiding an accurate description of what his partner had done to him.

"If it makes you feel any better, Illya has two black eyes that make him look like a cat burglar.  What happened to you two?" Mark Slate was holding back a grin, his two superiors seemed to have gotten into a brawl with something ominous.

Napoleon sighed, his date with Veronica would have to be cancelled. If only he had ducked.

"We walked into that cellar, it was damp and dark… we just never saw the big gorilla in the corner."  April raised on eyebrow, casting a glance at her partner.

"By gorilla you mean a big ugly THRUSH?" They were all used to those brutes.

"No, I mean a gorilla. There was a gorilla in there, and he didn't want any company. Illya took the first hit when the big ape slung him across the room.  Unfortunately, he passed by me with his special in his hand and that's, um… well…"

"He pistol whipped you?" That made both of the junior agents cackle out loud.  A stern expression on Solo's face quieted their laughter, but it was going to be difficult to lose that image.

"How is Illya, by the way?" Napoleon knew it wasn't the Russian's fault that he'd smacked his partner in the face with the gun.  But it hurt like hell and had definitely left a mark.

April was always concerned about Illya, and this time was no exception.  The collision with something very hard had left him with a broken rib in addition to the black eyes.  She hadn't quite figured out the two injuries, but then in this business nothing was constructed of pure logic.

"He's in a bit of pain, ribs you know…' Napoleon made a face as he thought back to how many times it had been his own rib cage in bandages.

"But, all things considered I guess you two got off pretty easy.  I mean, a gorilla." Mark was still trying to suppress a big guffaw, aware that he might be sorry if he didn't.  Napoleon shook his head at the memory of the creature he and Illya had encountered.

"I hope to never even look at a gorilla again." April and Mark both nodded their heads in agreement.

After all, what were the chances?

Comments

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

What are the chance? Hysterical!

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

Thank both you and glenna for this very likely (with Thrush!) unlikeliness. Most well written all through, with both the first and last lines brilliant.

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

What are they odds of being accidently pistol whipped because of a gorilla. It could only happen to these two :-)

[duckys-lady.livejournal.com]

This is so cute! I didn't see the gorilla being the cause. ;-) And the last line is perfect!