"Ooops!" For the PicFic Tuesday Challenge

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

The prompt:

He stood there staring, not moving a muscle.

It was staring back at him, almost grinning like some feral beast as it sat there in the middle of the long gravel driveway.  In a way it was the most bizarre thing he’d ever seen.

It was a huge dog, a monstrous German Shepherd with some sort of serious underbite. Its fangs were huge, both upper and lower and he guessed that if they bit into him, they’d never be pried loose.

He began to sweat and became unsure of how long he could remain motionless; not being in the most comfortable of standing positions it seemed most likely that he would eventually lose this staring contest, not by blinking but by moving.

His right foot was outstretched in front of himself as he stopped in mid stride, making it not the most stable of positions for maintaining one’s balance.

Sweat was now beginning to roll down from his forehead and into his eyes and he found the sting from it excruciating. He couldn’t wipe away the perspiration or the tears as they welled up in his eyes.

Then his nose started to itch, but he daren’t scratch it. Any move could trigger the attack.

His heart was pounding in his chest; he didn’t know how much longer he could last.

A bead of sweat ran down his nose, to the very tip of it and hung there precariously; he was doomed as he had to sneeze.

Now he knew how Illya felt when he was face to face with a canine foe.

The beast continued to stare relentlessly, unmoving, just waiting for him to make one move before it would strike.

“Napoleon what the devil are you doing?” Illya’s voice spoke from behind him.

“The dog, can’t you see it? Why aren’t you freaking out?” Solo whispered out the side of his mouth.

He suddenly felt himself shoved forward toward the Shepherd; raising his arms, Napoleon tried to protect his face and throat from the attack. “Why had Illya done this to him?”

Napoleon fell against the dog; it hadn’t moved at all, and when he straightened up he realized the animal wasn’t real.

“You did not know it was stuffed?” Kuryakin snickered.

“Ahem, yes well I did,” Napoleon straightened his tie as he cleared his throat. “I just wanted to make sure you knew it wasn’t real, given your fear of dogs.”

“Yeah right,” Illya walked away, heading towards the mansion that was their target.

Solo finally caught up with him. “So how did you know?”

“Number one, it was not breathing. Number two Dieter Schmidt is an amateur taxidermist. If you had read the mission brief, you would have been aware of that fact.”

“Har-dee-har-har.”

Illya turned the corner of the gravel driveway and for a moment he was out of Napoleon’s view.

Suddenly the Russian charged back towards his partner, and tore past him.

“Run!” Illya shouted, just as a pair of very live dogs came running after him, ignoring Solo as they chased after the fleeing Russian.

Napoleon couldn’t help but laugh as the dogs were nothing more than yipping chihuahuas.

“I guess Schmidt didn’t get around to stuffing these two,” he called out, but Illya was already long gone and over the wall that surrounded the estate.

The little nippers having missed their initial target turned back, now spotting Solo.

“Nice doggies, good doggies,” he spoke calmly to them, but one charged and latched onto his pant leg. The second dog did the same and as Napoleon took off heading for the wall, he could hear his trousers tearing.

The dogs went flying but at least he was free of them, at the price of a brand new pair of pants.

Once over the wall he met up with his partner.

“Taxidermist?” Napoleon asked. “I guess he missed a few. Really Illya...chihuahuas?”

Kuryakin's pale face blushed ever so slightly.

Comments

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

As you've said, chihuahuas insist on being taken seriously.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

What a GREAT comment! Thank you! :D

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Okay, chuckling all the way over the fence. Me, not them ;)

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Good! Then my job is done. "D

[pactnmmt.livejournal.com]

Well Chihuahuas are known to be called armpit piranhas. Napoleon is lucky they didn’t reach that high or maybe just a bit lower.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

I've never heard the term armpit piranhas, though I raised chihuahuas for many years. My dogs however, were not the yippie-nippy kind and were extremely friendly.

They were all obedience trained by me and could walk off leash without any problems. I used to bring them into work (a family owned jewelry business) and they would greet customers, who adored them. The sire, named Petey, would often hop up into a customer's lap who was getting their ears pierced and was feeling apprehensive. I guess he was an early 'therapy animal' as his presence calmed the customer and kept them distracted.

My parents and brothers all had chihuahuas with the same disposition. I guess it was they way they were raised. Unlike the little dogs carried around in handbags by celebrities etc. Prior to having chihuahuas, I grew up with German Shepherds.

Yes Napoleon was very lucky. At least they got hold of only his trousers and not his body parts. Thanks so much for commenting!

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

This made me laugh out loud :-D
Some of those little dogs are more vicious than the bigger breeds. My sister got bitten twice by my Auntie's Yorkshire terriers.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the comment cuz. Glad it made you laugh!

It's a shame little dogs have such a bad/nippy reputation, I don't blame the dogs I blame the owners. You can train them not to be that way (I did it with not one but with six of them ...chihuahuas)

I think because they seem so little and cuddly that owners think they don't need to do anything like that. Dogs of any size take advantage of that atmosphere. They become the alpha (instead of the human being it) It's true about little dogs taking over if they know they can. ( big dogs too) Little dogs can become quite bossy.

I do miss having my dogs, still I love my cats.