"Au Chocolat!" for the Short Affair Challenge July 1st 2019

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Challenge: Short Affair

-Prompt Word 1 - Goofy

-Prompt Colour – Gold

Author: mrua7

Title: “Au chocolat!”

Word count: sorry, slightly over

Pretty much everyone at headquarters was aware of the tight bond that existed between Napoleon Solo and his partner Illya Kuryakin, though there were some who weren’t happy about it.

There were still a few members of the New York office who resented the Russian’s presence; they continued whispering Commie and Pinko behind Illya’s back.  Those whispers however were becoming fewer and fewer.

That seemed to get Kuryakin to finally let down his guard, letting his Ice Prince persona take a back door as it were.  As of late he smiled more and was quite chatty with everyone, especially the ladies of the secretarial pool.

One afternoon Napoleon went in search of his wayward partner who had failed to make an appearance in there office all day; that was very much unlike him to neglect his paperwork that remained untouched on his...and Solo’s desk.

The copies were all neatly stacked, white originals, pink for agent copies, gold for Mister Waverly and blue for File 40, if warranted. It wasn’t like Kuryakin to leave things sit unfinished.

Napoleon finally found Illya in the secretarial pool, entertaining the ladies by juggling three staplers in the air, much to the delight of the women. The usually somber Russian was grinning ear to ear.

Napoleon stood there watching as his partner broke out into the song ‘Alley Oop.’

The girls immediately joined in by singing the chorus of ‘Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop,’ while clapping the rhythm.

“There is a man in the funny papers we all know.”

“Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop!”

“He lived 'way back a long time ago.”

“Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop!”

“He eats nothing but a bearcat stew.”

“Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop!”

“Well this cat's name is-a Alley Oop.”

“Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop.”

“He got a chauffeur that is a genuine dinosawruh…”

“Alley Oop, oop, oop-oop!”

“Ahem,” Napoleon finally cleared his throat.”I hate to interrupt this little side show but what in the hell are you doing Mister Kuryakin?”

“Poleon! Come join me. I am having much fun making ladies smile.” Being distracted, Illya dropped the staplers one after the other and they landed on the floor at his feet.

“Oops, that was an Alley Oops I think,” Illya quipped.

“Are you drunk?”

“Of course not. No self respectin’ Russian would ever be drunk Nap...Napoleon. This you know!”

Kuryakin placed his hand on Solo’s shoulder, gripping it tightly. This allowed Napoleon to look his partner straight in the eye and he could see Illya’s pupils were dilated.

“You’re high. No wonder you’re acting goofy. You better come with me to get checked out.

Surprisingly Illya obliged, though he did ask Napoleon several times where they were going. He was told they were having lunch just in case the Russian decided to bolt given he hated Medical, though in his rather happy condition Napoleon doubted he's run.

After taking blood samples Doctor Greene determined that Illya had indeed been drugged and knowing the man, it was not of the Russian’s doing.

After some investigating it was found that someone had been giving sweets to the Russian, as it was well known that he had a penchant for chocolate. A box of candies in Illya’s desk drawer were taken to the lab for analysis and they were indeed found to be laced with a mildly hallucinogenic and slightly addictive substance.

Someone obviously wanted to get Kuryakin out of the way.  Drug use would lead to immediate dismissal from the Command and Illya would have been sent back to the Soviet Union where he would have faced certain death.

Whoever did it, didn’t count on Kuryakin’s impeccable record and personal reputation would negate the an idea of him being a drug user.

Illya was beginning to show the effects of withdrawal and had to be restrained in bed. It wasn’t a pretty sight for Napoleon to see his partner experiencing the shakes, anxiety and periodic vomiting.

Doctor Greene said the symptoms could last anywhere from three days to three weeks, but given Illya’s ox-like constitution he suspected it wouldn't be long.

Solo sat at Illya''s bedside, keeping him company until he was able to speak; he looked to the American for answers.

“Napoleon please, what is wrong with me?”

“Someone’s been drugging you Illya. Who gave you those chocolate candies?”

“Candy? Yes...chocolate. Please Napoleon get it from my desk? I need it!” Illya struggled against the straps keeping him confined to his hospital bed.

“First you have to tell me who gave them to you tovarisch. Then I’ll get some for you, okay?”

“Da, yes Pozhaluysta? Napoleon...help me?” Illya felt his head spinning. He knew something was wrong but couldn’t make sense of it. He began laughing uncontrollably, then immediately became terrified. Fear...it was like the fear drug he’d experienced years ago in Marion Raven’s apartment.

“Illya, who-gave-you-the-candy?” Napoleon pressed him harder.

“I was Karas, Gus Karas. He...he told me his sister made them. You remember Delia Karas in transla...” Illya suddenly gagged, and became sick again.  Luckily there was a stainless steel kidney dish nearby just for that purpose and Napoleon grabbed it.

Nurse Walsh took over, holding Illya’s head while he heaved.

Napoleon immediately contacted Tom Lopaka, the head of security; Gus Karas and his sister were brought to interrogation. They were put into separate rooms but it didn’t take long to find out the girl had no idea what was going on. She indeed made the candy, but her brother, unbeknownst to her, had injected it with a drug he’d stolen from the labs and gave the candy to Kuryakin.

Apparently her brother, a Section III agent, had been passed over for promotion several times in part due to poor performance reviews given by Illya.

Karas had become a member of that minority who wanted the agent from the Soviet Union sent back home, though his reason was for revenge.

He was immediately deprogrammed and dismissed; his sister though an innocent had to be deprogrammed as well as she was made aware of what her brother had done.

Napoleon made sure she would be set up in a translation position at the U.N. with a good salary. Life for her would be more than comfortable.

Her brother, however, was left on his own means; it wasn’t long before they heard that Konstantinos Karas (aka Gus) had been arrested for armed robbery.  He was apparently a bad seed after all in spite of being vetted with UNCLE.

Illya was back on his feet within a week, and though Solo doubted it, the Russian said he’d sworn off chocolate.

“Don’t do that tovarisch, just beware of Greeks, among others, bearing gifts.”

“Sound advice my friend…”

Napoleon tossed him a chocolate bon-bon, and Illya looked it over carefully after unwrapping it.

“Really?” Solo frowned

“I am only following your advice.” He smiled before popping into his mouth. “Mmm, chocolate ganache filling.”

“I thought you deserved something special tovarisch.”

“Thank you. Do you have another?”

“Don’t be greedy.”

“Tsk, I was not being greedy. It was very good. Where did you get it?”

“I won’t tell. You’ll get one as a reward every now and then when you’re a good boy.”

“I am not a dog.”

“I know that,” Napoleon took another confection from his pocket and unwrapped it. He was going to eat it himself, but when he saw the puppy dog look his partner gave him, he handed it over.”

“No, you enjoy it.” Illya held up his hand. “As you have said to me before, it is good to share.”

“Thanks, but that’s ‘sharing is caring.”

“I know but that sounds a bit overly sentimental.” Illya laughed as now Solo was the one rolling his eyes for a change.

Comments

[ssclassof56.livejournal.com]

Poor Illya. But I would love to see him juggling and singing. :D

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

That would be a sight, wouldn't it. I tried to come up with a incongruous image for our poor IK that would really be out of character for him. I have no idea why the song "Alley Oop" popped into my head. lol!

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

And Illya handled the unknown drugging very well - juggling, even.

An interesting tale, darker than most with headquarters personnel. It was probably very good luck Gus Karas didn't do anything worse, later. Also, well done Napoleon for seeing Delia got a good second best.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Very true, IK was lucky things hadn't escalated with Gus. I don't think the man really wanted to hurt Illya, he just wanted him fired. Though indirectly (in my stories) if IK were sent back the the USSR he would have been taken by the KGB and most likely executed as a traitor as (again in my stories) Illya refused to spy for them. They considered him a traitor.

Thanks so much for the comment!

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

What an insidious thing to do, though I'm glad Napoleon made sure Delia would be okay. Excellent story, Cuz!

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thank you cuz! Apparently Gus zeroed in on one of our stoic Russian's innocuous weaknesses.

[pactnmmt.livejournal.com]

As I was reading, I found myself smiling broadly at the image of IK singing and moving to the song, however it quickly became obvious that something was definitely wrong. Poor Illya. I can just imagine how miserable he must have been when in medical.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. I glad the Illya routine made you smile. I tried to come up with a very out of character thing for Illya to do.