"A near Cat-astrophy" for National Black Cat Appreciation Day.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Since I just recently rec'd my 'Cat Noir' and 'On the prowl- the sequel' both about black cats...specifically Illya turning into one, I thought this story, though a little bit off the mark would be good. It's about a cat that's black, but not...

It was like nothing Illya had ever seen before, Napoleon as well.  They’d seen dozens of experiments on animals by THRUSH, including using cats as their guinea pigs while testing a for a machine that would make a human being younger again.

Like many of their schemes it was a failure as the subjects eventually returned to their true age, but this latest adventure in experimentation left the UNCLE agents at a loss for words.

The cat they found among many in the laboratory of a THRUSH satrapy looked as it were two completely different animals that had been spliced together.

This creature bearing a name tag ‘Venus’ was anything but a goddess. One side of her was an orange striped tabby with a blue eye…yet there were only eight breeds of cat in the world who had blue eyes and an orange tabby wasn’t one of them.

The other half of the cat was completely black, with a normal looking green eye.

The nose was half pink on the tabby side, and black on the other side.

The body was that of a calico cat...so essentially there was a third kind of cat in the mix.

As they explored further, they found more of the bizarre looking cats.

“Why would they do such a thing? To what purpose?” Illya asked. He picked up one of the cats, snuggling it next to his face as it began to purr.

“Well, I’m afraid they’re going to have to be checked out, and most likely destroyed,” Napoleon said. He knew his partner wasn’t happy to hear that, since he was a cat enthusiast.

“It is all right Napoleon, I understand. We do what we must.”

Suddenly the cat lashed out, scratching the Russian on the face.

“Ow, you little…” Illya quickly put it back with the others and pulled his handkerchief, holding it to his cheek.

“Let me see,” Napoleon said.”

Illya moved the cloth, revealing four bloody raised claw marks.”

Solo whistled as he looked. “Better get that checked back at Medical.”

“I have been scratched by a cat before, it is nothing,” Illya dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

Five minutes later Kuryakin was in anaphylactic shock and being rushed to the hospital.

When Napoleon hurried into his partner’s room at Mount Sinai, he found the Russian on a respirator.

Apparently these strange cats had a substance secreted through their claws similar to that of rattlesnake venom, but not quite. Venom generally did not cause anaphylaxis, as that was a condition more associated with an allergic reaction.

It was the antivenoms that could trigger such a severe reaction and needed to be treated with a shot of adrenaline, though the patient had to be carefully monitored.

The hospital in conjunction with UNCLE Research and Development came up with a course of treatment just in the nick of time as Kuryakin weakening.

Forty eight hours later he was off the respirator, and sitting up in bed asking for something to eat, much to the relief of his American partner.

“That’ll teach you to snuggle up to a strange cat tovarisch,” Napoleon chided.

“You are right. I should not have held her that close to me. Cats can lash out when frightened, and being unfamiliar with me it caused it to react the way it did.”

“So you’re saying it was your fault that it ripped into you?”

“Most definitely. May I ask what is being done with the cats?”

“R&D is studying them. They seem to have an unusual gland that secretes a sort of venom that’s released through the claws. Removing the gland and declawing them will render them harmless or so that’s what they say. They’re calling in Dr. Dubowy from the veterinary clinic on East 52nd Street. If the procedure is successful the cats will be neutered or spayed so they can’t reproduce, just to be on the safe side.”

Illya nodded as he listened. “So they are not going to be destroyed?”

“Nope, Mr. Waverly decided they should be spared.”

“Well he is rather fond of cats himself,” Illya said.

“But killer cats tovarisch, I don’t know about that.”

“If removing the gland and their claws renders them harmless, then they will no longer be classified as such, will they?”

“True. Now please tell me you don’t want to adopt one of them tovarisch?”

“Do not fear Napoleon, I will not. I am not home enough to give a cat a nice homelife...which is why I gave away my black cat Nina, as you recall.”*

Napoleon absentmindedly began to rub his hand as he recalled the night Illya’s little terror of a cat Nina attacked it while he was sleeping on his partner’s lumpy green sofa.

“How could I forget?” He grimaced.

* ref to my Snapshot chapters: “Wild Kingdom”- chapter 4 and “Nina”- chapter 57 and “Nina”- chapter 190, as well as the story: “Cats and Dogs” on Fanfiction.net under Mlaw

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8914003/1/Snapshots

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11772060/1/Cats-and-dogs

Comments

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

IK is a cautious man but, I don't think he'll ever be able to stop himself snuggling up to strange cats :-)

I remember this prompt. I couldn't come up with anything for it.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Yeah, IK's a cat guy for sure. He if the mood strikes you, have a go at the prompt again, what the heck.

I'm still pecking away at a "once upon a time story.'...