" Napoleon's dilemma" for the Word of the Day Impromptu Challenge

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Illya Kuryakin leaned against the curtained doorpost that led to the back room of Del Florias, His arms were crossed in front of his chest as he watched what was going on.

He didn’t look very happy.

Napoleon Solo was standing in front of a triple floor length mirror on a slightly raised platform; he was being fitted for a new suit by Del Floria’s assistant, who did most of the tailoring work, while the Del of the day manned the front of the shop.

It wasn’t always the same man posing as Del Floria the tailor, but different older agents who had volunteered for the task rather than being deprogrammed and retired. They were all similar in appearance, and real customers off the street rarely noticed.  If they did the agent would explain that he was a brother or a cousin just filling in.

Back to the fitting, anyway Illya had taken about all he could watching his partner turn and admire himself in his new double-breasted grey suit.

“What’s wrong Illya?” Solo asked.

“You are ridiculous, admiring yourself like a foppish fool. A suit is a suit, and given your track record of ruining them I do not understand why you keep having these expensive things made. Accounting is going to draw the line someday on your over the top expense reports requesting reimbursement for your costly clothing.”

“Are you done?”

“Yes.”

”For your information this is not a replacement suit and I’ll be paying for it out of my own pocket. I think this particular suit has a lot of panache, and it shows off my ‘girlish’ figure,” Napoleon couldn’t help but snicker at his own humor.

“Tsk," Illya clicked his tongue. “And by the way, you already have a near identical double-breasted grey suit that you purchased not three months ago.”

“I do? I did?”

“Yes. See, you have so many suits that you can not even keep track of them!” Illya waved his hand in disgust and walked away. His socialist ways urged him to leave as he’d had enough of his partner’s bourgeois habits. He decided to go to the Commissary for a cup of tea and a snack.

Napoleon turned to the tailor. “Why didn’t you remind me I already had a suit like this Sam?”

“Sorry Mister Solo, but you go through so many garments that I though it was just another replacement,” Sam the tailor paused a second. “Excuse me a moment, I need to speak to Del.”

A few minutes later Del walked into the back.”I hear you have a predicament.”

“Apparently so,” Napoleon looked dejected.

“Tell you what I can do. I can dye the fabric to say a charcoal shade, one that I know you have never had. How does that work for you?”

“Gee Del, that’s great, thanks.” Napoleon still didn’t look that happy.

“And because of the mix up, this one will be on the house,” Del winked.

“Really, wow that fantastic Del, thank you so much. You’re making my day, now can you make my night by having it readly this afternoon?

"I can do that. Napoleon, I think we need to keep an inventory of your suits from now on."

"Good idea." He shook the tailor’s hand and removed the jacket and trousers.

Dressing in his single breasted grey suit, Napoleon headed back into headquarters and joined Illya in the Commissary.

“Where is your new suit?”Illya asked.” I would have thought you would want to show it off by strutting around like a peacock.”

“Number one, I am not a peacock, number two, I don’t strut, number three, I am not foppish and number four…I didn’t get the suit.” That last one of course was a bold faced lie, Napoleon was good at doing that.

“Changed your mind, really?”

“Yes, your reminder that I already had one did that. I’m going to do an inventory of what I already have to keep track of my suits. What I have as well as what style is damaged on assignment, that way I won’t duplicate anything...again.”

“Napoleon, how many suits do you have?”

“Roughly, around twenty, give or take a few.”

“Twenty!” Illya began to cough, nearly choking on a bite of doughnut.

Napoleon slapped him on the back until the Russian was ready to take a sip of his tea.

“Illya how many suits do you own...that aren’t black?”

“I have three in addition to three black suits, as well as a few sports jackets and four trousers. With the exception of my own grey suit, they are all ‘off the rack’. This makes them easier to replace if damaged and unrepairable by Del Floria, and less costly on an expense account.”

“You won’t catch me dead in an off the rack suit, ever.”

“I know. Which is one of the reasons why you are constantly borrowing money from me for your dates.”

“Oh here we go…”

“It is a fact.”

“I pay you back.”

“Eventually, Illya took another sip of tea. “At present you still owe me nearly forty dollars.”

“I do? Well let me remedy that right now.”Napoleon pulled out his billfold and opened it, to find that he only had a five dollar bill.

He held it out to his partner with a pained look.

“Keep it, you need to have money on you. Give it to me next payday, please.”

“I will, umm, you don’t suppose you could spot me a ten, partner mine?”

Illya rolled his eyes, and taking out his wallet, he handed Solo the money. “Do not tell me, you have another date tonight.”

“Yes with the new girl from translations, the one that looks like Gina Lollobrigida. She’s Italian by the way... va va va voom.” Napoleon grinned in anticipation of the evening he had planned.

He decided he’d wear his new suit as Del promised it would be ready. He’d hold off wearing it on an assignment just yet as he was sure Illya would somehow know it was new. 

He’d have to figure out a ruse, maybe tell Illya it was one he’d had for a while and just didn’t wear that often.

That would do it.

"Remember, you now owe me fifty dollars," Illya said as he stood up.

"I know, I know..."

Comments

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Good one, Cuz! Illya's a smart man. I wouldn't be surprised if he realises it's the same suit :-D

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thanks cuz! I'm pretty sure he will as well! Not that he can do anything about it other than annoy Solo about it. lol!

[laurose8.livejournal.com]

Thanks for this enjoyable episode. After smooth talking Illya, the date should be a walkover.

And that's a good thought about del Floria being a duty rather than a person.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Napoleon is definitely a smooth talker and a con man, but I think Illya has his number. lol!

[gevr.livejournal.com]

I'm quite sure Illya will recognise the suit whenever Napoleon decides to wear it !

Very amusing story - well done :-)

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

You're definitely right! Glad you liked it and thanks for the comment!

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

HA! I can see that happening, and it's a perfect take on the two words in our Word of the Day.