Laugh It Off - 7 Deadly Sins: Wrath

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

I can't seem to muster up creepy or fierce.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>><<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

The THRUSH lunatic du jour, Malcolm Edy, was screaming at the top of his lungs…

“I will unleash my wrath upon you and send you reeling into the… th…”

He fell with an inelegant thud as the sleep dart found its mark. Illya Kuryakin lowered his weapon and sighed heavily as his partner Napoleon Solo shook his head.

“What? It’s over, he’s… out. Quite cold I imagine.” Although his own comments were often accompanied by a deadpan expression, this one brought a small smile.

“Yeah, I can see that. Did it occur to you that we still need some information, the kind only he could give us?” Napoleon was tired, his suit had grease stains from climbing up a chain that, because it had grease on it, had been nearly impossible to do.

“Napoleon, I assure you that I have the information.’ Illya made a gesture like a courtier bowing to his king.

“I simply could not endure the threat of wrath and destruction any longer. I needed him to shut up.” Illya was, by contrast and quite uncharacteristically, completely unscathed by grease or anything else. That probably accounted for Napoleon’s bad mood as much as anything about this affair. Illya was supposed to get grimy and dirty, not UNCLE’s best dressed CEA.

“Fine, I get it… sorry. Can we get out of here? You’re sure you have the infor…?”

“Yes, I assure you I have it. It’s neatly labeled, a recipe of some sort.”

Napoleon shook his head again. “Some wild death inducing formula, no doubt.” Illya just nodded, then jerked his head in the direction of the door.

“Out, now… please.”

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

When finally seated at Alexander Waverly’s big table, it was of interest to the two agents to see a plate of what appeared to be brownies situated to the right of their chief.

“Mister Kuryakin, Mister Solo… ahh… we have interrogated the prisoner and found him to be, ahhh…’ Waverly seemed about to chuckle at whatever he was going to say.

“Well, the man is quite mad, isn’t he. I believe we will find the file in question is nothing more than a … ‘ the Old Man was barely able to suffocate the laughter threatening to upend his speech.

“The man, Lester Lydecker, has concocted a recipe that he believed was going to give him world dominance, when in fact… “

Now Napoleon and Illya were starting to laugh as Waverly let loose with a whoop and succumbed to whatever it was he found so amusing. The three of them were laughing out loud when Lisa Rogers entered the room carrying a tray laden with teapot and cups.

“Ah, ahh… yes, Miss Rogers. Thank you, and do have a seat, we should all indulge. I think a spot of tea will do us all a world of good.” 

“Umm… sir? Is that all there was, a recipe?” Napoleon was puzzled, and not a little concerned that his boss was giggling now, and he thought the man winked at Lisa Rogers.

“Oh, do have one Mister Solo. You as well Mister Ku…ahh… Kyur… oh, the devil take it. Just have one, it will do you good to get that scowl off your face.”

Illya was taken aback at that, resolutely refusing to eat anything being offered up as a curative to a bad mood. Napoleon, on the other hand, succumbed to his superior’s order and bit into a brownie, not once but twice.

“Mmmm, these are really good.’ Lisa poured tea for everyone, setting a brownie on the edge of Illya’s saucer. Waverly caught the look on the blond’s face.

“Oh gentlemen, truly there is nothing to worry about, I’m just enjoying myself over this latest THRUSH mischief. Our lab has checked everything, it’s all perfectly harmless it seems. The only thing Lydecker accomplished was a delightfully decadent chocolate brownie, which makes me wonder what all the fuss was about. Blimey…” 

That made Illya want to jump up and shoot someone. Alexander Waverly uttering the word blimey, it was inconceivable that he would use a common Cockney term. Illya thought back to the file and wondered if it could truly have been nothing more than a recipe for … 

“Sir, where is the file? May I read the recipe?” That made Waverly laugh again. “Oh, jolly good that. Read up man, read up!”

The recipe had indeed been studied and found to be simply what it appeared to be, a recipe for brownies. The joke of it containing cannabis was too good to ignore, so one of the lab assistants, a young man named Ben, copied the recipe and gave it to his buddy, a line cook in the commissary kitchen. To make it easier, Ben ferreted out of the lab some of the pot that was taken from the THRUSH location captured by Solo and Kuryakin. All in all, it was a cool bit of business, and Ben and his pal Jerry, the line cook, would have brownies for days to come.

Except… 

As Alexander Waverly was passing by the commissary he caught the aroma of chocolate and, upon learning that it was a fresh batch of brownies, had requested that a tray be sent up to his office. Having learned it was the sole result of the affair recently resolved, the Old Man liked the idea of indulging in such a sweet victory. He laughed at his own pun when the full impact of the brownies began to manifest.

It was several hours later that the effects of the cannabis infused confection began to waft away. Napoleon eventually fell asleep on the sofa in his office, while Waverly sat for quite some time blowing smoke rings into the air. Lisa Rogers, her usual stern resolve to find Illya Kuryakin both unattractive and highly annoying suddenly without sufficient grounds, was reduced to daydreaming about blue skies and sandy beaches.

Illya took it upon himself to fire both of the young men, releasing them to Security with stern warnings about not repeating their folly and recommending they find other, more suitable fields of endeavor.

It had turned out that the promised wrath of Malcolm Edy was nothing more than his reaction to someone’s pot brownies. What a lot of trouble, not to mention Napoleon’s ruined suit, all due to a Thrushie getting high. 

And that’s when Illya Kuryakin started laughing.

Comments

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

He did get the last laugh :D Thanks for catching that and commenting on it.