section7mfu | Song Stories: For UNCLE and No One Else

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The man sat dejectedly at the table, hands folded upon it and head bowed. Every few minutes or so, he would shake his head. When he did look up, he was facing the only other piece of furniture in the room, a chair exactly like the one he sat upon and a large tinted window behind which he knew were UNCLE personnel waiting to observe his interrogation.

The door opened and a tall blond man carrying a file folder stepped through it. He approached the empty chair, sat down and placed the folder on the table. “My name is Agent Mark Slate and I will be conducting this interview. My partner, Agent April Dancer, has informed us that you have additional information that we require.”

“I do not know this April Dancer. There must be some mistake. I don’t know who you are talking about or what you are talking about!”

The door opened again and a woman entered that the man did recognize. “Maureen! Oh, Thank God, I thought you had been killed! Are you alright, my love? Tell this man we were there on vacation!”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that. I’m Agent Dancer and Agent Slate here is my partner.”

The color drained from the man’s face so quickly, everyone observing him thought he might faint. “No,” he moaned in shock and grief, “No. He must have drugged you. Your name is Maureen Templeman! You come from Akron, Ohio and we’re in love! We’ve been together for almost seven months! Please, tell him!”

Agent Dancer leaned back against the wall, folded her arms across her chest and regarded the man coolly for a moment before replying, “Sorry, Darling, but you have been played. You were my assignment; my job was to gain your friendship and trust so that we could garner the information we needed. The fact that you fell in love with me made it just that much easier. Cooperate with my partner, Darling, and things will go much better for you.”

He flopped back in his chair looking completely defeated. “So none of it was real? It was all a lie? Or, are you lying now? Because you said you loved me, that you needed me!” He looked at Agent Slate as if for confirmation. “We would lie in bed after…afterwards and talk about our plans, sometimes, all night. What kind of woman does that if it’s not real?” He looked at “Maureen” again, eyes pleading. “I love you. I know you loved me, Maureen. I, I can’t be wrong about this. I can’t! Tell me you love me. Tell me I’m right. Please.”

Agent Dancer straightened up and replied, “I never loved you, Darling. You’re wrong; none of it was real and you need to accept it. As for what kind of woman could do that? An UNCLE agent.” She nodded to her partner and went out of the room.

She joined Napoleon Solo and his partner in the observation room and they watched as Mark expertly extracted information from their captive. “April, Illya, I have a meeting with the Old Man. You two keep an eye on the goings on in there,” Napoleon ordered before departing.

They continued to watch silently for a while longer before April said, “Illya? May I ask you something?”

“Of course. What is it?”

“You’ve gone deep undercover before, haven’t you?” At his nod she continued, “Did you ever become emotionally involved with your target?”

The Russian stared ahead at the interrogation unfolding in front of him. “No.”

April came along side him and watched as Mark picked apart what remained of the man in front of him. “Me, neither.”