section7mfu | Snapshots~"Having doubts can be a dangerous thing."

Illya-Kuryakin-david-mccallum-14095990-387-500

Illya Kuryakin stood still on the workout mat in the UNCLE gymnasium. His opponent, a young Section III agent hesitated, yet again during their judo lesson.

The Russian stepped away, waving the man...Peter to join him on a nearby bench."

"You have doubts in your abilities and they are showing." Illya said, wiping his face with a white terry cloth towel.

"That obvious Mr. Kuryakin?"

"I am afraid so Peter. Hesitation could cost you your life. You must think on why you have these doubts.

You were confident enough to make it through training school and become and UNCLE agent, so why now is inaction manifesting itself?"

"Sorry sir, I don't know why."

"Peter we spend our whole lives living with ourselves and is the longest relationship you we ever have, and one perhaps you take for granted. It is amazing to me how often we fail to pay attention to the one person we are most intimate with. We should know ourselves better than any other, yet some of us do not.

Some people dislike themselves, and do not trust in their own capabilities. Could this be you?"

The agent was taken back by Kuryakin's rather profound observations and Peter asked himself, did he really like the man he was or was facing the reality of being an UNCLE agent, making him afraid of his own shadow and doubting himself."

Illya watched as the young man hesitated, waiting patiently as he suspected he would get an answer to his questions.

"Mr. Kuryakin, I have to be honest...I think I wasn't cut out to be an agent after all."

"I understand. Self-doubt brings fear, as in the fear of failure, of the dark, of being out of control, of not being good enough...as well as danger. Early in an agent's career it is easy to let fear affect your judgement and confidence. Give it time and you will feel better about it. As a Section III agent, you will not be exposed to the hazards of field work just yet, though I know you are very much aware of them. Still you must be prepared for the unexpected, and that is what today's workout was all about."

"Yes sir." Peter stood up, offering his hand to the Russian. "Thank you. I understand now."

Three months later Illya visited Peter Cummings in medical, as the agent had been wounded during a courier drop. Someone had tried to relieve him of the package he was carrying but the young man fought them off, and saved the package but nearly at the cost of his life.

"So I see you have learned to control your fears and doubts Peter, " Illya cast a little smile. "Though I would have much preferred your initiation to the real world of espionage not have landed you here."

"No that's okay Mr. K. You were right about it all. If I hadn't had confidence in myself to do this job, then I probably would have gotten killed out there. It was your little talk to me that made all the difference and saved my life."

Illya shook his hand and left, happy that his words to the young man had not gone unheeded, and thinking Peter Cummings was going to make a fine operative.