SNASHOTS~ "Jack Sprat"

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Napoleon watched with interest as Illya trimmed every bit of fat from his t-bone steak before putting a lean morsel into his mouth and chewing it with relish.

“Since when don’t you eat the fat? I’ve seen you wipe a plate clean and practically gnaw on the bone.” Napoleon commented.

“True, there was a time I would do such a thing. It was what I was accustomed to back home.  I shared an apartment with six other people, and there was a communal pot for our food, usually just root vegetables, some pierogi filled with potato and onion, maybe mushrooms every few weeks. If we were lucky there might be some meat to use for the filling. Bread was usually not a problem, nor was vodka.  We would pool our money to buy meat for the stew once a week but without fail I would get home late from my work with the GRU and there was little left but gristle and bone in the pot. We were all hungry, the government saw to that....  so you learned to eat whatever was put in front of you.”

He looked down at his juicy steak, with its side of mashed potatoes smothered in gravy, with a side of carrots and peas, his eyes obviously filled with satisfaction.

“I recently realized I no longer had to make do with the fat and bone...it is rather ghastly if you have never had to eat just that with turnips and potatoes.” He laughed a little, “It was no wonder we washed it all down with copious amounts of vodka.  The fat and bone from my steak tonight will not go to waste, as I will give it to the stray cats.”

Napoleon nodded his head, listening carefully. “You know tovarisch, this reminds me of a child’s nursery rhyme. “Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean; and so between them both, you see, they licked the platter clean.”

“Ah yes it is an English nursery rhyme, “Illya continued the poem. “Jack ate all the lean, Joan ate all the fat. The bone they picked it clean, Then gave it to the cat.  Jack Sprat was wheeling his wife by the ditch.The barrow turned over and in she did pitch. Says Jack, ‘She’ll be drowned!’ But Joan did reply, “I don’t think I shall, for the ditch it is quite dry.”

“I never heard all that before,” Napoleon said, not surprised at his partners addition to the rhyme.

“You forget, I lived in England for three years...one picks up these sort of odd things. It is interesting that there are are a number of historical interpretations of “Jack Sprat.” One claims the rhyme refers to King Charles I and his queen, Henrietta Maria. When Charles declared war on Spain, the parliament “left him lean,” failing to fund his cause. As a result, the  King implemented an illegal  tax without Parliament’s consent “to get some fat” for his war effort.”

“Another interpretation connects the rhyme to Richard the Lionheart , and his brother King John. John was married to Joan, the greedy daughter of the Earl of Gloucester, therein comes the reference “Joan ate all the fat.” When Richard was taken hostage by by Duke Leopold, John had to leave the country destitute in order to raise the money for the ransom. So between John's desperation and Joan's greed, “they picked the platter clean...”

“And all this because I noted you trimmed the fat from your steak,” Napoleon shook his head.

“You were the one who mentioned Jack Sprat,” Illya smiled, spearing another piece of steak with his fork.”

“Hmm, yes, so I did.”  Napoleon raised his glass of wine, saluting his partner, “Here’s to Jack Sprat and lean steaks.”

“Hear hear,” Illya smiled, lifting his glass in response.

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