"Idioms can be handy sometimes"~posted for the 'WHAT'S MY LINE' challenge

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Challenge: What’s my line?

Title: “Idioms can be handy sometimes”

The prompt: “Between a rock and a hard place”

Author: mrua7

Word count: Approximately 1435

                               

                                                         

It was a fairly clear night, with the light of a full moon giving the two U.N.C.L.E. agents their only source of light as it silhouetted the black line of trees above their heads. They were pinned down in small rocky outcrop above a gully.

The exchanges of gunfire were sporadic between them and the squad of goons who’d followed them until the car had run out of gas; forcing Napoleon and Illya to literally head for the hills.

The partners were without supplies and the lack of water was beginning to take it’s toll on them.

Periodically, between the volleys of flying bullets, someone would yell out to them.

“Give up Solo. You and your little Russian buddy will die of thirst... but we have lots of cool water down here with us. “

“Yeah and even beer and sandwiches,” someone else called.”You can have some if you just surrender. Give us the documents you stole and we’ll let you go.”

“Yeah right,” Napoleon yelled back at them,” and would you believe I have a bridge I can sell you, if you’re interested, but it’s back in Brooklyn…that’s in New York by the way.”

Illya looked at him as if he had two heads. “What does selling a suspension bridge in Brooklyn have anything to do with our current predicament?”

Napoleon was amazed that his partner picked the most inopportune times to not understand American idioms and colloquialisms. "The actual saying is 'if you believe that ...I've got a bridge to sell you. It means a scam, selling someone the Brooklyn bridge. A person who "could sell someone the Brooklyn Bridge" is persuasive; a person who "tries to sell the Brooklyn Bridge" is extremely dishonest; a person who "would buy the Brooklyn Bridge" is gullible.

“Ah so you are portraying yourself as dishonest in hopes they are gullible?”Illya paused before he got off a few shots before ducking down.” But still what would selling them a bridge do…”

At first Solo was taken aback at that remark, and finally shook his head.

“Illya you’re thinking too literally again. The Brooklyn bridge is public property and couldn’t really be sold from one person to another, and besides who would want to buy a bridge anyway? As I said it was just a saying, an idiom. I thought you were finally starting to get these things?”

Napoleon poked up his head, taking careful aim before shooting. They had to make every bullet count as their ammunition was in short supply. He smiled as he heard a grunt echo from below and assumed his shot rang hit its target.

“Hmmm,” the Russian rubbed his chin with his hand, still having a one-track mind. “I  recall reading a recent article regarding an American named McCulloch who just purchased London Bridge in the mistaken belief that he was in fact, buying Tower Bridge. The stones were all marked before the bridge was disassembled and shipped to a place called Lake Havasu City, which was developed by him as an investment. Lake Havasu had been created by the construction of Parker Dam, one of many dams on the Colorado River. The bridge is now in the process of being reconstructed and I presume it will be a some sort of tourist attraction for the city.”

“Partner mine, only you would know something like that.  Though in your head you may find that pertinent to our situation, it just isn’t.  The only thing I want you thinking about is how to find a way out of here, as right now my mind, like my mouth is coming up dry. Let’s face it, we’re stuck between a rock and a hard place chum.”

The winds began to gust violently and the light of the moon was gone in an instant, extinguished by heavy cloud cover. At least being at a high enough elevation from the men below would give them the abiltiy to hear them if they started to climb out of that gully and up towards the U.N.C.L.E. agents.

Illya raised his finger, preparing to make another point. “That is another interesting idiom, if I may. How can one differentiate as a rock is hard and I presume by context the hard place also refers to a rock and therefore a redundancy…”

A loud clap of thunder interrupted Kuryakin, with the blackened sky being lit up by monstrous bolts of lighting.

‘Plip, plop, plip plip.’  Raindrops began to fall steadily and offered the thirsty agents a bit of comfort as water began to pool in some of the crevices among their rocky cover. The wind began to gust, now driving the rain down even harder.

The small puddles turned into large ones until water came pouring down from the rocks above them in a deluge of biblical proportions, with Napoleon and Illya barely being able to get out of its way. They watched as the gully below was quickly filled with water. The violent flow lashed away at the enemy agents who were scrambling to climb up to safety as they had been taken unawares by the flash flood. None of them  succeeded...

The Russian and his American partner stood, drenched to the skin, but at least they were alive (and somewhat refreshed). It took some time for the water to recede but it was obvious the coast was now clear.  

“Shall we?” Napoleon gallantly gestured with his hand for his partner to head down the rocks first. Their goal was to reach an awaiting car, still parked safe and sound on the ridge above the other side of the gully.

“Why thank you. Napoleon might we continue our discussion?”

“About what chum,” he asked, not quite sure which topic Illya was referring to.

“The last one I mentioned...being stuck ‘between a rock and a hard place. Could you explain that one to me as I just do not understand it.”

“Sure why not,” Napoleon smiled. Now that they were safe, he was willing to indulge his oftimes too ‘literal’ partner in some discussion.

He was, after all, getting rather good at explaining idioms...since he had a lot of practice.

Comments

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

I very much enjoyed that. I reckon Illya deliberately misunderstands things in order to wind Napoleon up.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

In my earlier stories I had Illya genuinely confused by American sayings, but eventually yes, he started to pull Napoleon's leg. Though once in awhile one idiom crops up that has him flummoxed.

Thanks for reading and of couse, for commenting too. Always appreciated!