SNAPSHOTS~"White Lies"

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

A/N: this story takes place before Napoleon and April's 'affair' is discovered by Kuryakin.

“They were the best of the best,” a Section III agent named Donnelly said as he sat at one of the tables in the Commissary. “I only wished I had a chance to work with them.”

Some of the women from Communications sitting with him sniffled into their hankies, all of them, including the men, were teary-eyed.

Word spread like wildfire as the death of UNCLE’s number one team of Solo and Kuryakin reverberated throughout headquarters.

Everyone was completely shocked when they heard the men had been caught in a satrap and the building burned to the ground, killing everyone within it.

“My handsome Napoleon,” Wanda moaned, “that gorgeous man burned to a crisp...I don’t want to think about it.”

“And Illya, that beautiful hair and blue eyes gone forever,” one of the ladies sighed.”He had such a wonderfully shy smile.”

“But a cold heart, remember they called him the Ice Prince.”

“That’s not nice to speak ill of the dead,” Heather McNabb interrupted the conversation. “Illya was always nice to me.”

“Our Napoleon,” the women all seemed to sigh together.

“I was supposed to go out dancing with him next week if he was around.”

“Me too,” Carla said.”

“Hey so was I,” Nancy giggled.

“That was our Mr. Solo, always juggling the ladies,” Wanda whispered.”I’m really going to miss him.”

“That means that April Dancer is CEA and her partner Slate is her second in command,” Winifred whispered.

“Wow, would UNCLE really let a woman be CEA?” One of the men asked.

“Hey, they wouldn’t have made her a field agent if she wasn’t capable,” a secretary stepping up to the group joined in the conversation. “She worked her way up through the ranks just like the man.”

“Just because she’s good in the field doesn’t mean she can be a Section head,” Charlie Burns added his two cents as he sat at the table. “The idea of a woman CEA just doesn’t seem right to me.”

“And what’s wrong with that?”Wanda demanded. “She’s a very capable and clever agent.

“Yeah if wiggling your fanny and batting your eyes makes you capable,” Charlie lashed back at her.”I wonder if she, well you know...slept with someone from Section I to make her move up so fast in the Enforcement Section.

.

Mr. Waverly, Napoleon and Illya listened in on the conversations, having planted bugs beneath all the tables. Generally the Commissary was one of the few places where employees could talk freely without worrying about Security breathing down their necks...or so they thought. There the best gossip was spoken in whispers, well mostly in whispers just to be on the safe side, but not today.

Once the uncomfortable conversation about April sleeping her way to her position in Section II, Napoleon broke the silence.

“I’d say it’s 60/40,” Napoleon said, crossing his arms in front of himself.

“Hmm, quite yes,” Waverly cleared his throat, “It would seem it’s a mixed reaction to Miss Dancer assuming your position.”

“Those in favor seem to be the women, the men opposed for the most part,” Illya added.

“Yes I too noticed that Mr. Kuryakin. This confirms my sneaking suspicion there are still hidden prejudices within the Command.  We will have to deal with those and the individuals exhibiting them.”

“Sir I must be honest, I still have to deal with bigoted remarks here from time to time. Our people, though the best, are still only human,” Illya added.

“No Mr. Kuryakin that is still unacceptable. I’ll not stand for such ignorant behavior here at U.N.C.LE. Now if you’d care to tell me which individuals have been bothering you; I will have the issue taken care of,” Waverly huffed.

Illya looked to his partner, regretting he’d opened that can of worms.

“Umm, sir?” Napoleon interrupted. “I took it upon myself as CEA to take care of counseling those individuals.  There hasn’t been a peep out of them since...”

“Oh, jolly good Mr. Solo. Thank you for being proactive on the matter. As for handling these new concerns now,  might you be so kind as to deal with the individuals in the commissary so we can put this petty prejudice against Miss Dancer to rest.”

“Errr, did you forget sir that Illya...Mr. Kuryakin and I are supposed to be dead?”

“Of course not young man,” the CCO smiled back at him with a slight chuckle. “When these individuals are called in for counseling, your presence will take them off guard and help put them in their place,” for a moment, Alexander Waverly hesitated, sucking on the mouthpiece of his pipe.

“And Mr. Solo, I wish you would curb your enthusiasm when it comes to interpersonal relationships here at headquarters. One day young man, it’s going to get you in trouble, and I think the ire of the ladies here will be far worse than that of our deadliest enemies. Now if you gentlemen would see yourselves out by way of my private entrance...dismissed.”

A panel opened in the back of the conference room, with the two agents ducking through it before the door quickly closed after them.  They followed a staircase that brought them down to the secure U.N.C.L.E. garage where a black sedan with windows tinted for privacy awaited them.

Once inside the back seat of the car Illya finally spoke up.

“Do you really think April could handle the position of CEA?”

“Yes I do. She has a good head on her shoulders and has come a long way from when she was a greenhorn agent. Granted I think there might be a few obstacles she’d have to face, but she can handle them….not that I look forward to being replaced any time soon,” Napoleon smiled.

“I do not look forward to stepping into your shoes anytime soon as well my friend,”Illya admitted. “I am not sure I am ready for that job either.”

“What? You don’t think you’re capable?”

“Oh I can do your job, of that I am sure. Just like April though, I am not sure of being accepted in the position.”

“Well we’ll have to rectify that won’t we chum,” Solo winked.

“And what do you plan to do about Mr. Waverly’s other request?”

“Oh, you mean me and the ladies?”

“Was there something else I missed...of course that, you bolvan,” Illya snickered.

“No need for name calling tovarisch. Now that, ummm, situation will have to be remedied in good time. All in good time.” Napoleon winked. “And please don’t roll your eyes at me...Illya?”

Kuryakin had seemingly dozed off; the motion of the limo, gently rocking him to sleep.

Napoleon shook his head, pulling a piece of paper from his breast pocket; he began to scan the list of names, all hand written. It was the agents he suspected of giving his partner a hard time, and now those exhibiting negativity towards April needed to be added.

One of Illya eyes popped open, peeking at his partner.

“So keeping a hit list?”

“Hey, eyes only chum,” Napoleon quickly folded the paper. “I thought you were asleep?”

Kuryakin smiled, having quickly glanced at the names on the paper. “Thank you for watching out for me. Though I have said before, I can take care of myself.”

“Hey, I’m not just doing this because you’re my partner. As CEA I have to keep track of my people and make sure they maintain a higher standard. If any of these operatives, after I’ve counselled them, continues to behave in an un-UNCLE-like manner towards you, then perhaps they’re not the right caliber to be involved with the Command.”

“Hmmmm, another reason why I am not ready for your job. I, shall I say the old country, were I in your position they would have just had them eliminated by a more permanent means.”

“You know you can be pretty cold-hearted at times chum.”

“What can I say, it is my training. I suppose I am the ‘Ice Prince’ as they call me. Everyday it is a challenge to not, shall we say, fall back into old habits?” Illya slyly smiled.

Napoleon just looked at him, not sure if the Russian was pulling his leg or not, he never knew.

“And what about those who aren’t receptive to April and other female Section two’s when they come along?”

“I will let you as CEA deal with that, as my way of thinking is a bit too permanent.”

“We need to work on your people skills Mr. Kuryakin. Now take your nap before we get home.”

“What no  lunch?”

“We can’t take a chance being spotted just yet, remember. The element of surprise is still needed when I talk to the people on this list.”

“Are you at least going to give April a heads up?”

“What makes you think she doesn’t already know chum?”

The Russian cocked an eyebrow at that answer. Though he didn’t want to read anything into it, he wondered if there was more to Napoleon’s answer than he was letting on.

Illya once he and Solo were resurrected; he would have to check his sources within headquarters when it came to his partner and April Dancer...

"So now, about lunch?"

Napoleon shook his head. "You my friend have a one track mind."

"It is a gift,"Illya shrugged.

Comments

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

There are several 'white lies' in this. Veeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrry intersting!

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Yes Sgt. Schultz....very interesting.

Thanks!