"Revenge is a two-way street"~ for the What's My Line Challenge

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Challenge: What’s my line?

Prompt: The overnight lows are expected to be...

Title: “Revenge is a two-way street”

Author: mrua7

Word count: Approx. 1300

“All right tovarisch, I’ll flip you for the room.” Napoleon Solo smiled as he pulled a coin from his pocket. “Though I don’t see why I shouldn’t get it since I’m the one expecting female company, most likely for the night, and you’re not.”

“That my friend is not fair. I am tired of giving up my mattress space so you can scre...bed some floosie.”

The tone in Illya Kuryakin’s voice was harsh, bordering on snarling from the sounds of it to Solo.  Regardless, Napoleon was not going to let his partner’s threatening looks make him change his mind.

“You know Illya if you’d just lighten up and go find a woman, you’d have a bed for the night, among other things and all would be right with the world. My date has a roommate you know, she’s pretty cute too.”

“I would rather sleep in a chair by the fireplace in the lodge than get involved with one of your assignations. Though it will not be very comfortable down here, as I heard outside the overnight lows are expected to go well below zero. Still, it is preferable to a sleepless night with with some ridiculous ski bunny.

“Tovarisch, I swear sometimes I think you must have been raised in a monastery.”

That did it, the Russian directed an angry glare at his partner. Napoleon knew full well what sort of upbringing Illya had and to belittle it...well it was just not right for him to do that.

Illya went on the offensive.

“Napoleon sometimes you need to think before you open your mouth and let something moronic come out of it!”

“Excuse me?” Napoleon snapped.” You calling me a moron?”

“Yes, because you are thinking with the wrong head again and, and…” the angered blond finally let out an exasperated growl; shaking his fists in front of himself in frustration.

“I can’t believe you called me a moron?” Napoleon stood there with his mouth hanging open.

His partner had flung some names at him over the years, usually as part of their banter and nothing meant by it. This time the anger in the Russian’s voice told a different tale.

Illya let loose his tirade.

“I just might call you worse if you do not make other plans with your date and let me get some sleep tonight. You know I am exhausted. Skiing through these mountains and wrestling enemy agents in the snow was not exactly a walk in the park. My back is killing me and you do not care.”

Napoleon’s expression changed and a furrowed brow appeared. “You cut me to the quick my friend.”

The apparent change in the American’s demeanor made Kuryakin’s sullen look quickly morph into a smile. “So you will change your plans and I can sleep in my own bed then?”

“Not exactly.”

“Oh Napoleon for pity’s sake, do not play games with me. I am sleeping in that bed, and this time you will go find someplace else for your nocturnal maneuvers!” Illya jabbed his finger at Solo, making his point.

“Well, that’s what I was thinking, but there’s still a problem...the girl I’m seeing, Trixie, has a roommate who's not into threesomes so, either Trixie evicts her or I evict you. Shame, you’re not interested in having an amorous adventure tonight as I think the roommate would really be into you.”

“Since when am I less important than some dizzy girl’s friend?”

“Do I detect a hint of jealousy in your voice chum?”

Illya huffed, rolling his eyes. “How can you say that? I do not even know the bloody girl, and you are accusing me of being jealous of her?”

“No I’m not, I was just asking a question.”

“Obviously this conversation is going nowhere, and since I am determined to sleep in my bed, without female companionship…”

Without warning, Illya stopped in mid-sentence, suddenly dashing up the stairs and bounding two steps at a time He made a beeline for their hotel room, and managed to get there one step ahead of the American.

He slammed the door closed, locking it behind him.

“Hey, let me in,” Solo pounded away with his fist.

“Ohhh,”came the muffled voice of the Russian from the other side.”Not have your key?”

“No, I left it on the dresser since you had yours, you know damn well I did.”

“That is your problem, not mine.’”

“Illya!”

“Napoleon?” A feminine voice called from behind him. It was Trixie.

“Oh, hi. We have a little problem...my ahh, business partner locked the door and I can’t get into my room.

Her blue eyes twinkled as she smiled; her lips shining with pink lip gloss.

“We can go to my room if you like?” There was a definite purr in her voice.

“But your roommate…”

“...has a rendezvous. She gone into town for the weekend so we have the room all to ourselves. We can order room service if you like.”

“Trixie darling,” Napoleon smiled,”That’s music to my ears. I wish I ran into you about ten minutes ago as your offer would have made my partner a very happy man and we’d have avoided a rather heated discussion.”

She cocked her blonde head, not understanding.

“Why would he be happy?”

“We were having an argument about who was going to get our room  since I had a date with you. It made sense that I…”

“You were going to kick your friend out of the room?”

“Well, it was only fair as he didn’t have a date.”

“And where were you expecting the poor guy to go? Napoleon, that’s not very nice of you,”her voice went up an octave.” You know what? I’m going to cancel tonight. I don’t think you’re the nice man I thought you were..”

“But Trixie, I'm a nice guy. Just give me a chance?”

She stuck her nose in the air as she turned away, giving him the cold shoulder.

“Oh man…” Solo huffed. The prospect of sleeping down in the lodge wasn’t so attractive after all now that he had to be the one to do it.

Suddenly the hotel room door opened about an inch, and one blue eye peeked out.

“Sorry you lost your date,” Illya said, opening the door the rest of the way and beckoning his partner inside. The Russian was already dressed in his powder blue pajamas.

“Me too. Pax?”

“Yes, fine. Now if you do not mind I am going to sleep.” Illya trudged over to his bed, crawling under the covers, simply leaving his partner standing there.

Napoleon smiled as he turned on the television, cranking up the volume…

Illya moaned, peeking out from under his blanket; his eyes spoke volumes.

“I will get you for this, I swear.”

“Threat duly noted chum,” the American smiled. He turned off the television, thinking he’d tortured the Russian enough for today; payback for Illya leaving him sitting in the snow with a broken ski.

The walk back to the lodge was long, to say the least, after watching his partner schuss down hill ahead of him. On the other hand, that’s when he did meet Trixie, as she stopped to help him.

Napoleon stroked his chin with his fingers, thinking perhaps his revenge needed to be continued in a more creative manner?  After all Illya, left him on the slopes, and was directly responsible for him meeting and in a way for losing the girl...hmmm?

"La vengeance est un plat qui se mange froid. (revenge is a dish best served cold),” Napoleon whispered in French; grinning to himself as he left the room to go fill their ice bucket...

Comments

[pactnmmt.livejournal.com]

Oh dear! I wouldn't want to be Napoleon after Illya is on the receiving end of the ice bucket. Paybacks are indeed, Hell. This was a fun story.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! Even the best of friends can tick each other off now and then. The revenge I still put to a 'release' for both of them.

Good to see you here again on LJ. Hope all is well with you!

[glennagirl.livejournal.com]

Good for Trixie :D Napoleon may regret his plans for revenge, but I'd be only too happy to read about it.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Yes, I think Illya is a believer in "he who laughs last, laughs best' philosophy, so Napoleon may regret his next move. (heeeee heeee) Yeah I guess this one should have a follow up, shouldn't it?

Thanks for commenting!

[jantojones.livejournal.com]

Napoleon may enjoy his revenge, but then he'll have to watch his back. That Russian is sneaky.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah....:D Thanks for commenting!

[lindafishes8.livejournal.com]

Napoleon should be careful where he throws the ice. They both may find themselves sleeping in the lobby.

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Ewww didn't think of that! LOL! Thanks for reading and commenting. Glad to have you back!