"The joke's on who?" Lifecycle-humor

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Challenge: Lifecycle-humor

Title: "The jokes on who?"
Author: mrua7
Word Count: Approx. 650

“Knock knock,” Napoleon said. Upon receiving no response, he repeated himself in the darkness. His partner was somewhere nearby, but he could barely make out the figure of the Russian.

“Knock knock,” Solo repeated and to which he again received no reply. “Illya I know you’re there; I can hear your breathing. Now you’re supposed to say ‘Who’s there?”

Kuryakin glowered in slience.

Though the American couldn’t  see it, he could just imagine the rolling of the eyes, and the furrowed brow.

“Come on buddy boy, it’ll take your mind off our... your situation.”

“And how is that?”

Illya was hanging upside down, tied by his ankles and left to dangle like a side of beef while Solo was leaning against the darkened brick wall; his hands handcuffed above his head.

“Will you just indulge me chum? It’s merely a joke. What harm is there in going along with me, for once?”

“That is easy for you to say as you do not have blood rushing to your head as I do...which is pounding unmercifully, by the way.”

“What’s pounding?”

“My head. As usual you are not listening to me you bolvan.”

“No need for name calling. Just humor me tovarisch. Knock knock.” He could hear the Russian sigh his frustration.

“Fine, who is there?”

“Knock knock.”

“I bloody well said, who is there? Why must you continue to torment me with your juvenile sense of humor?”

“Knock knock.”

“For the last time, who is there?”

“Knock knock,”

“Napoleon, who is there?” This time the Russian was practically growling as his voice had gone up an octave. It echoed in their corner of the dungeon. No one was there to hear them though as they'd been left do die in the musty dampness.

“Orange.”

“Orange? Orange...who?”

It was evident this change in tactic had thrown off the wiley Russian.

“Knock knock.”

“Oh for pity’s, who is there?”

“Orange.”

“Orange who, or what. I do not care because if you say knock knock or orange one more time I swear I will come over there…”  Illya had managed to swing his torso upwards, taking hold of his ankles, enabling himself to lift himself from the hook and at last drop to the floor. There he quickly untied himself.

“Orange you glad I didn’t say knock knock again...chum?”

“Napoleon that was not at all funny.”

“Well it got you to become annoyed off enough at me to free yourself, didn’t it? Bet your headache is gone too.  Now if you’ll be so kind as to use your lockpick and free me.”

“Knock knock?” Illya suddenly said while fumbling with his partner’s handcuffs. He was feeling for the lock with his fingers as it was too dark to see.

“Who’s there?”

“No time.”

“I give...no time who?”

“No time like the present to get the hell out of here,” Illya snickered as the lock on Solo’s cuffs clicked; releasing his wrists.

“Why Illya Kuryakin, I do believe you just made a funny,” Solo grinned.

“What will be funny is if I leave you behind. As I said there is no time like the present for us to get out of here my friend, so please dispense with your feeble attempts at humor.”

“Ahhh, yeah...point taken tovarisch,” Napoleon rubbed his wrists as he followed his partner out the door as the man led the way to their inevitable freedom. “You know I didn’t think you had it in you Illya.”

“Had what?”

“The ability to make that sort of joke.”

“What joke? If you think I was joking then you were seriously mistaken.”

“Never mind…” Solo mumbled. “I stand corrected.”

Little did Napoleon know his partner was grinning ear to ear in the darkness. As they emerged into the light and to their freedom he finally saw the Russian's enigmatic smile.

"Ah so you were joking weren't you?"

"I was completely serious," Illya lied.

"I don't believe you. Tell you what chum, listen to this one. A man walks into a bar..."

Illya shook his head, rolling his eyes in earnest now. Better to humor Napoleon at this point. "Fine, as long as you do not utter any of your ridiculous puns."

"Hmmm, you aren't acting your part tovarisch."

"Here it comes...and what part is that, may I ask?"

"Why you should just be listening, until it's time to offer your opinion as a good pun-dit should."

"I think I am going back to the dungeon."

Comments

[carabele.livejournal.com]

Very cute! Napoleon does know how to use getting the Russian's goat to advantage, doesn't he? 😊

[mrua7.livejournal.com]

Solo is the ultimate tactician, isn't he? Thanks for reading and commenting.