Man from U.N.C.L.E. Section VII

I found two short (well, under 500 words) bits of nonsense I wrote a while back and cleaned them up a bit. They are posted on AO3 and I'll try to get them up on the UNCLE Fan Fiction Archive too.


Why U.N.C.L.E.’s Travel Budget is So High
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989631


Illya Makes a Date
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989499

My muse is still vacationing somewhere, but in her absence I have managed to edit and post three parts of the Exit Wounds series on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/threecee
I will enter them in the Man from UNCLE Fan Fiction Archive soon. I have a fourth part in progress, but I'm not sure where it goes from there.

My muse has been gone so long that I thought she was dead. Then the combination of reminiscing with an old friend about the good old days at the library and reading some MfU fic, suddenly revived her. Not sure that was a good thing.

Anyway, I posted the resulting story at the MfU Fan Fiction Archive at http://www.mfuarchive.net/archive/6/aquiet.html if anyone is feeling brave.

Warnings: I think this might require the creation of a Gen - Immature classification.

The following memo surfaced after a comment Sparky955 made about Enforcement agents "going to the bathroom like everyone else". So it is HER fault.


United Network Command for Law and Enforcement
Interoffice Memo
To: Mr. Waverly
From: Paul Robbins

Dear Mr. Waverly,

Sorry to bother you, but I got a big problem with the bathrooms, if you excuse me mentioning them.
Them Section 2 gentlemen is heroes and all, and we all respects them, but they sure do make a mess in the bathroom. Yesterday, Nathan jest finish cleaning the mens room on level 3 when Mr. Solo and Mr. Kayeakin came in. They was arguing about shooting and Mr. Solo he says as how he can face the mirror and make a shot that hit the cake in the urinal. Well he pulls out his gun and shoots back over his shoulder. Smash up all the bran new cakes that was jest put in and scare Nathan half to death cause he was close to the urinals. Then Mr. Kayakin, he jumps right up on the end sink and flip over so he standing on his hands. Then he stand on one hand and use the urinal for what you suppose to do, but upside down on the sink! He hit it right enough, but not all the way because he so far away and Nathan had jest mopped the floor.

Then I send Curtis to clean it up because Nathan needed a break for his nerves and he hardly finishes when Mr. Slate and Mr. Kittridge come in and they start on wrestling and knock down one of the stalls and breaks a soap dispenser all over the floor. Whats Curtis supposed to do?

Now Nathan and Curtis say they won’t never clean the mens bathrooms again. Says they quit first. And it no good asking Ida to do it cause she still not over that exploding lipstick in the ladies. We all know we not to touch Section 2s or there stuff, but how was Ida to know it was Miss Dancer dropped it?

So please Mr. Waverly, you got to talk to the Section 2 folks and asks them not to do Section 2 stuff in the bathrooms. Just like Madge had you tell em about the cafeteria after exploding meatloaf last month.

Yours truly,
Paul Robbins
Head Janitor

The slight man in black wove his way between the trees and undergrowth assisted by light from the full moon filtering through the trees. His body ached with fatigue and the tension of trying to combine silence with haste. The enemy was close behind. He still wasn't certain how many there were, but he had recognized one of them: a top enemy agent, cunning and ruthless. They had been following him since the ambush at the first rendezvous point. He had barely escaped and now his only goal was to survive long enough to get the information to the backup contact.

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